Going Home to Sudan an interview with Taj Hamad Assistant Director of ICC

Tamara Grapek
September 1988

All of the family and relatives gather around raj at his homecoming banquet.

From the time I came to America about seven years ago, I hadn't gone back home. All together, I hadn't seen my family for eight years. All that time I didn't feel internally free to give myself to Sudan when Father was working on a worldwide level.

But when Father declared the providence of homecoming, I found a providential reason to go home, at least for a visit. I asked my central figure and he said, "Yes, please go." I planned to stay only a short time because I was very involved with ICC.

Taj shows the tape of his son's 100-day ceremony to his relatives.

Disaster Strikes in Sudan

I planned to go in the beginning of August. While I was finishing some work in New York and making things ready for the upcoming ICCs, I got a telephone call from a friend in the Sudanese embassy. He told me that the situation in Sudan was disastrous. There was a flood and all the transportation was stopped. He told me that many people didn't have food and asked me if I would ask IRFF here in New York to help. I heard also from other people that three-quarters of the capital city of Khartoum was destroyed. It had rained and rained for many days and because the drainage system is inefficient, many houses were structurally damaged or destroyed. My family actually lives in the capital, so I got very worried.

I tried to call Sudan many times, but I couldn't get through by telephone. I called the regional leader, but he didn't know much about what was happening in Sudan; he only said it was not good. Then brothers and sisters started to come to me and say "What is happening in Sudan? We saw these terrible scenes on TV."

I was planning to take KLM Airlines, which goes through Europe to Sudan, but because I knew they needed food, I changed my flight and took Egypt Air instead. I stopped first in Egypt to buy some food because the food in Egypt is similar to the food eaten in Sudan. In Egypt I had only six hours between flights so I went quickly from the airport to a supermarket and just grabbed food off the shelves.

Exactly 40 hours after I left New York I arrived in Sudan. I was very surprised to find two of my relatives waiting for me in the airport -- and they were smiling! I expected everything to be destroyed and that there wouldn't even be people on the streets. I asked my relatives, "What is happening? Where are the places that are destroyed?" They said, "Oh, there are some people who have been affected, but it's not so bad." I said, "How can this be? I heard the capital was destroyed." They told me that some places in the northern part of the country were seriously affected and the outskirts of the city were destroyed, but the capital itself was all right. It was bad, but the news had been greatly exaggerated by the media.

I went to see my family and all of them were okay. I am the youngest child in my family, and in eight years my elder brothers' and sisters' children had grown; some of them had even gotten married.

After I had been there a short while, this inspiration came to me: "Why not invite all of your family to a banquet, just like the banquets that Father usually prepares? Find the best place and invite your family and the closest people to you in Sudan." So I found the best hotel -- the Hilton -- and had the hotel prepare a banquet exactly the way Father does for guests. I invited 48 close friends and relatives.

It's so difficult to make any preparation for a banquet; money and manpower are needed, and in this kind of country it can take years. But everything went so smoothly! When I went to reserve the hotel, the only day they had available was the day which I had chosen, the 13th! I don't know why I chose 13, but it happens to be the number of the Messiah. Also, I stayed in Sudan exactly 13 days and invited 48 guests -- another significant number.

Everyone whom I had invited came. After they finished eating, I stood up and started talking. I didn't know exactly what to say in the beginning, but on that same day I had received an inspiration to share with them about my relationship with Father as a father figure in my life. In Sudan people respect elders. You can talk to any elder person as a father or a mother. I explained that Father was "a father figure" who had deeply affected my life. I said that he is very concerned about my well-being; also the well-being of many other people. He's also concerned about our education and he meets us every Sunday regardless of his busy schedule to teach us how to connect deeply with God. He is very concerned to set up a heavenly tradition for us to inherit so we can live our lives happily. He answers all the questions I have and, if I have more questions, he even comes in my dreams and gives me the answer. I just spoke with them about Father as a man who is loving and concerned about his children.

So many memories came back to me while I was talking: the workshops I have attended, my seminary experience, fishing with Father, his sermons at Belvedere, the birthday parties in East Garden, the intimacy I shared with Father and his investment in me personally. The audience became very involved with me. And when I sensed their acceptance, I decided to tell them about my marriage, most of them for the first time.

"Congratulations" -- Taj's mother cutting the traditional cake.

Explaining the Blessing

In Sudan marriage is a very important religious and social event. It is a time when families and relatives gather to celebrate the completion of one's religion. Muslims believe that a man or woman is complete only when they find their 'other half.' The parents usually arrange the marriage. My family even had some candidates waiting for me. I told them that because Father Moon is like a father figure in my life and he wanted to protect me from temptation, especially from western women, he had advised me to marry and he even chose a wife for me. I told them she is a religious, faithful, young, and beautiful Australian "queen." I mentioned that she had asked me about all of them and she wanted so much to visit Sudan to see them. She had encouraged me to go and visit this time. I also showed them a telex she had sent while I was there, expressing her concern and good wishes. I had a videotape of my son's 100-day ceremony and because the meeting was going so well, I showed that to them also. I must mention that the reason I told everyone that Father wanted to protect me from western women is because of the way western women are portrayed by the media to Sudanese people. They see on TV and in movies and magazines that western women have their "freedom," and they hear about the crimes connected with the abuse of freedom in the West.

The overall picture they have received is that women in the West do whatever they want without restrictions. They don't hear many good things about freedom, only about the misuse of freedom. For that reason, they are actually afraid of western women. Especially in the old days, when men went out of Sudan, they were usually surrounded by their relatives and friends and told "Be careful not to get married and be kidnapped by a western woman and forget your relatives!"

Before the banquet, I felt that I should ask my relatives, if they agreed to sign a membership form and give their support to Father and give me their blessing. I wanted to offer that to God as their acceptance of True Parents. Because there were no membership forms in Sudan, I brought a nice book for their signatures.

After I concluded my speech to my family, I asked them to show their support for Father Moon in what he is doing and for me, by signing the book. To my surprise, 44 of them signed! The only four who didn't sign were children.

I had asked the hotel chefs to prepare a cake for my guests and to write on it: "Congratulations." When everyone looked at this cake, they thought that I wrote congratulations because of my own marriage. When somebody gets married, he has a big party and his family comes and congratulates him. But actually, internally, I was congratulating them for connecting with the Messiah. That was my intention.

Taj, Josephine, and their son Goon-A.

With True Parents' Authority

The thing which amazed me about the whole experience is that it seemed that everything was prepared for me. I went there from New York because I was worried, and I wanted to see what was happening in Sudan and find a way to help. Especially in my country when there is a disaster, families come together. It was the best time for me to go to comfort and console them. I actually went with something completely different in my mind than what God had planned for me. I found also an amazing authority behind my words. Everywhere I went to visit friends and people I knew, they received me with utmost respect. One of my main prayers before I went was "God, I want to go there to represent True Parents because True Parents cannot go to my country at this time." Maybe things happened that way because of this prayer, but above all I believe it is because of the foundation already made by Father.

I found that some of my friends had high positions in the government. One of them is a government minister. While I was checking over the hotel where I wanted to have the banquet I heard a voice calling, "Hey, Taj!" I looked around and saw a friend whom I hadn't seen for a long time. He asked me, "Where are you living now?" I told him that I left Sudan in 1973, and I am now living in America. "Oh," he said, "give me your telephone number." And he gave me his. Afterward I looked at his card and saw it had "Capital House" on it, which is like the White House.

I didn't follow up on him right away, and miraculously I kept meeting him again and again by accident. Each time he insisted, "Please come to see me! You have to come!" I didn't know why, but I just felt as if there was something exuding out of me that attracted people very much. Even elders listened to every word I spoke. In my country, young people must always listen to elders, not the other way around.

I know it's only because of the internal foundation Father has made that this homecoming providence is becoming a real thing. I think if we just touch the right buttons, things will start happening for us.

Now I feel more comfortable, and rested in my heart, and I can give myself more freely to God and the providence of ICC. I have no worries about my family like before, and I am grateful for Father's blessing to connect our families with him.