The Words of the Moffitt Family
You're in the Womb
It's like this. It's wet, warm, cozy. You hear sounds outside, someone chopping onions or listening to Boz Scaggs. You don't know what it is, but it's cool. You're a little bitty fetus, about the size of bait. You have a heartbeat and that long bellybutton doo-hickey. Life is good.
Then you start to become larger, and what's worse, you start to acquire all these things you absolutely don't need. Things like legs, arms, eyes, a mouth, and other - you know - "parts." You grow toes and you're thinking, "Whoa, hey, more stuff I don't need." This is so not good.
Okay, then it gets really tight. And it gets worse. You feel squeezed, the nice water disappears and you start falling. Suddenly it's bright, and cold.
It's really, really different.
Someone smacks you on the ass, and you're feeling this incredible need to suck something. You scream your head off, and you're surrounded by giants, all laughing, slapping each other on the back and handing out cigars. They get their faces real close to yours and everyone talks to you like you're an idiot. But you forget all that.
Eventually you discover that you really do need the arms, legs, eyes and other parts. Without the things you developed in your last world, you would be crippled and unable to function in this world. You can ride a bicycle, shuffle cards, and the toes are useful because they keep you from slipping off the branch. So now you're happy with all that.
And in this world, you figure out you have the ability to learn how to love other people, or you can decide to just flip them off. It's your call. Love is fine, but you can grow strong and quite wealthy without ever lifting a finger to help another human being. And one of those other "parts" that you are now very happy to have, you can use it to love unselfishly and honorably, build a family and learn more about love or you can, well, screw people around.
Then someday you croak.
Your body goes to room temp and you find yourself in the next world."Hi, folks!" And it's really, really different.
Your body there is made up of whatever character you brought with you. Everything there is kind of all about love. More than that, it's about loving other people more than you love yourself. The actual "air" is unselfish love (instead of the nitrogen, oxygen, cigarette smoke mix you've been used to). You need to have embodied unconditional love in your character in the previous world, in order to breathe comfortably in this one.
That's why EVERY religion makes such a huge deal about developing your capacity for unselfish love while you are alive on Earth. None of them say you must pass Algebra II. I'm just sayin'.