The Words of the Bizot Family
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The Words of the Bizot Family |
May you feel through this report somewhat or something of what life was and is like in the heart of Africa -- a region once called Darkest Africa, but which now, as throughout the entire world, has begun to see light and true hope for the first time in eternity. This is possible only through True Parents, who have paid the price that the children of the forest and savanna may begin to grow to their true position as children of the Heavenly Father.
Rarely in life does one's perspective and perception change so abruptly as it did when I was told of my new mission in Africa. As I left the campus and took the bus home under the crisp, starry Cambridge night, the buildings, people, cars, seemed already removed, distant. Incredible, but so. I just wanted to burst out, to say to everyone, "I'm going to Africa!"... But what is Africa?
I had no idea.
I truly had no idea.
In all my studies in high school and college, I had never been attracted to study about Africa. It seemed too big, too vague, too remote from my life. Even when the secretary in the next desk to mine at an office job I had was making preparations for a trip to Africa, I had thought, "That's most likely the last place I'd want to go."
And now, I was going (was it true?) to Africa. As a missionary, as a pioneer, into for me a completely unknown land.
I'd wake in the morning with a fear that I might die of malaria once I got there... so many fears, almost overwhelming; but overcome by the even more overwhelming love of our Father. True Father came to Barrytown every other day -- it seemed like every day -- to lift us up and instill vision and value in our hearts. His words and His love truly sustained me during the long years ahead. I only wish that I'd had the courage to "go on my own" at that time, but what was there was just in germination stage, with still a long way to go, and True Father's booster shots of love were still necessary.
Then, so quickly, so quickly -- man cannot stop time -- the day arrived, good-byes at the airport, in the plane and away. Was there love in my heart for the land where I was headed in the center of the massive African continent? How I longed for that to be, that it could be like two lovers running to embrace each other; but sadly, I could not feel that way. My mind was almost choked by fear, because I knew so little about the Central African Republic. On the plane, I made determination that although all was strange now, I would somehow hang on, somehow survive until love stirred, until love came from which wonderful spiritual sons and daughters would be born.
But I could not have imagined what a long time that would be.
In my life in the Central African Republic [C. A. R.], I often felt that I'd been blessed or matched to perhaps the most unlikely candidate possible. A nation picked by Heavenly Father for me, for my growth. But originally, not much in common between us.
My first year in the C.A.R., from May 1975 to May 1976, was the longest of all years possible. The month from May to June 1975, even longer. Why? Because when you are lonely, especially when it is loneliness centered on self, time is eternity. I tried so much to overcome and turn self-centered feelings into feelings to comfort Heavenly Father's heart. But so difficult.
So many days during the first month, I felt that Satan had picked me up like a wet dishrag, wrung me out and dropped me again. I longed just for the setting of the sun and the cool of night to calm my roving, internally screaming spirit.
More than unity the struggle was to channel such feelings away from myself and towards God. We were forced to fight for the visas, to fight for jobs and place to live, and to fight to break the barriers of language, custom and culture. In looking back, it seemed hard to believe, but it was over a year before I was able to leave the capital city of Bangui to experience life in the countryside. It's just that the first year, our energies were so absorbed by all the external difficulties that we had little strength left even to explore.
We were fortunate in one way that our country had a difficult external situation. Exactly as Father said, these externals worked to push us closer together. Unfortunately, during our first year in the mission, I cannot say we brought a victory of unity. I usually pretended that I was too busy and ignored my fellow missionary, deciding that the "mission" was more important than one person's spiritual state: more important to witness to the Central Africans than to raise someone who already knew the Principle and thus should be strong.
We were all able to endure until the end of the three-year course together, when we received official recognition from the government of Central Africa to work officially and openly as the Unification Church. This was a very blessed moment of victory. Because we'd achieved unity at last, it was the farthest from my mind that this would so quickly change. But the providence of God is much greater than our individual victories, and by the end of August, on only two days' notice, the German sister was off to London, and we were two missionaries again. For some reason, Elisabeth Klima's departure was truly a spiritual shock for me. I discovered that two persons are far less stable than three, because if there is a disagreement, it is so difficult to create unity again, to rebuild the foundation.
Thus, from September 1978 until September 1979, very little progress was made in our mission work. Externally, Ogura-san and I understood each other better, but the unity was not at a deeper level. I felt much resentment towards him because (I sensed) that he rarely wanted to accept my direction or point of view, perhaps because of my status as a woman, or as a "younger" sister. Yet I did not express this to anyone, because I felt determined to overcome, to win a victory through service. It was a most difficult time/struggle for me, and my energy level, even my desire to continue the mission, seemed to be at the lowest possible level. In addition, the external political situation of the country became very tense. Yet somehow, I had a deep faith and hope that if we could just persevere, no matter what, Heavenly Father could always find a way to work.
And so it was. The political situation changed, and we were joined by a new German missionary, Hanna Reinbold, with a strong Principled view and Abel-like nature. The joy and new hope that flooded both Ogura-san and myself made the dark cloudy days melt away. Not instantly, but surely, the errors are being mended, and the resentments overcome.
For myself, the greatest barrier was that of language. Without a facility in the language one cannot deeply understand culture, customs, and way of life. The Central African Republic is a French-speaking nation; that is, French is the official language, spoken in the government and by educated people, while Sango is the national language, spoken by nearly all the Central African people. So, when I arrived there, the conversation and atmosphere surrounding us were almost completely unintelligible. From the first day, I tried to speak my broken, high-school French, but rarely could other people understand, and even more rarely could I understand them. I so often felt that I was inside a plastic bag, and although I made sounds which I thought were intelligible, the people on the "outside" only understood these sounds as gibberish. So often I was nearly in tears, as people would ask, "What language are you speaking?" or say, "I'm sorry. but I don't understand Chinese."
Such a painful memory of lonely times characterize the first six to eight months of my mission in Central Africa. So many times I reflected on Heavenly Father's situation, how He had been incomprehensible for so many thousands of years to all the people on the earth, even to those He had directly chosen to lay the foundation for the restoration. It was this realization -- that my initial experience in trying to communicate at least verbally, not to mention in trying to understand at the level of heart, was but a small part of the heart of God and His efforts, frustrations and loneliness -- that kept me persevering. But it was not easy, because languages do not come quickly to me. So it was one year, two years, two and a half years, before I could truly feel at ease, truly understand the nuances and sometimes hidden meaning in the way people spoke.
Of course, during all this time, even from the first week, we taught the Divine Principle. At first I read it nearly word for word from the Study Guide, as some patient friend or contact (patience is certainly one of the paramount virtues of the Central African people) would be my willing object. And what is amazing is a true testimony to the power of Heavenly Father's love and of the tremendous worldwide victor' of True Parents: despite these external handicaps or barriers, some persons did understand, and did accept, and did become faithful members.
Yet, because the language was so difficult for myself and for Ogura-san as well, the changing of our customs and an understanding of the Central African culture came slowly to me. I remained Europeanized and consequently. too aloof/arrogant for too long. We ate the more European-style food at first and tried to discuss with new guests aspects of the American or European way of life, but found that it really had no meaning or relevance to those who had only recently left their village, who had almost no contact with outside countries or persons from outside countries. In looking back, what most likely won our first members was the sincerity of our efforts; they could sense from our lifestyle and our actions that we were trying to pioneer a new way. One friend said once to me,
"You know, your Japanese friend, I saw him many times walking along the street, and I thought: very simple natural style; that's the way a person should be. I wonder where he lives and what he's doing here in Bangui."
Still, to come closer and closer to the people and to feel an eternal bond with them, one needs at least to absorb all the good or closer to heavenly aspects of the culture, customs and way of life. As we began to have members living in the center with us -- the first brother began to live with us in December 1977 -- we learned the externals of how Central Africans eat and live, and most importantly, about their view of life, of the world, of God.
We realized how close the spirit world and spiritual phenomena are to African life; the belief in a practice of magic is deep, not erased simply by a certain number of years of high schools or university education. Heavenly Father is, above all, a judge to be feared (an Old Testament image), as are their own physical fathers. Frankly speaking, few believe it is possible for a man or a woman to remain chaste or even to live a faithful married life. They have no experience/example of such a way of life or such a marriage, so they conclude that it must not exist on this earth. Seemingly, no feeling of guilt or remorse accompanies such actions.
When I first really comprehended these views of life and values, it was almost more than I knew how to cope with. Sometimes hopelessness would envelop me, a feeling that there is almost no way to begin resurrection if there's no desire to change, no prick of conscience. But I determined that if we could find even one person who was capable of sacrificing for his other brothers, to follow with dedication the way of True Parents and restoration, then he could be the symbolic offering, until one day, through united effort, all the others may come as well.
Although certain aspects of the mores were difficult for me to accept, in general the African way of life, with a strong family tradition, an order of generations and a great respect for the elders, is most pleasing and edifying. Their lives are rich in heart, even if their external experiences have been limited. One's position in one's family, society and in the succession of generations is more important than one's individual self. Because death is never far away -- I'm almost certain there doesn't exist an African family where the parents have not lost at least one or two, even six children, usually during infancy -- and as life on this earth is relatively short (40-50 years), there does not seem to be great ambition to stand out as an individual, but rather to maintain the tradition and the relationship with the family. These aspects of the culture I find very wonderful, especially now because we have the home church providence -- an ideal way, I believe, to restore the strong African family and tradition to the heavenly side.
In Central Africa, and perhaps all through Africa, the spiritual world is a reality, not merely a possibility, and it influences intimately the lives of all persons. We as missionaries have experienced the reality of spiritual phenomena many, many times, even daily.
First of all, there are dreams. Since my arrival in the Central African Republic, I doubt that there was a night's sleep when I did not have vivid, memorable dreams. Sometimes the dreams were high-level inspirations, sometimes less desirable, often warnings or forewarnings of spiritual activities to come. If I was praying deeply or doing some type of condition, my dreams of the True Parents were so vivid that I could feel their embracing love even more than when I had been physically present with them so many times before in America. Comfort and hope these dreams would bring: dreams of Father laughing and playing with his grandchildren -- many, many grandchildren; dreams of Father and Mother with our Central African family in Bangui; dreams of tremendous light flowing into even the most remote village of Central Africa.
Actually, I did not have any experience of seeing True Parents in a vision, as a substantial entity before me, but I could "see" them through my heart. At times of illness or discouragement, when I was lying on my bed, unable to move or hardly even to sense a desire to go on, I suddenly felt as if my True Mother had entered the room, just quietly peeking in, to see if all was okay and to reassure me to rest quietly until the storm had passed.
On one trip, I had to cross an island on a narrow forest path. The forest was dense, strange animals were crying -- a typical African forest scene -- and although my desire was strong, my courage wavered just a bit. In that instant I felt immediately the presence of True Father, and realized that, symbolically, at least, this forest path represented the narrow course he has followed, with the strong, evil forces of Satan all around. I felt True Father there with me, ready to walk before, to lead the way, to lead me to safety. It was a very deep and moving experience. Fortified by renewed courage, I did go on.
However, besides dreams and rather dramatic encounters with True Parents or with the power of Heavenly Father, it is just a day-to- day reality that the spiritual world works to assist our mission in Bangui.
I know that Father has said many times that if we desire to accomplish ten tasks in one day for the will, but physically there is only time enough for half that number, then heaven must aid us to accomplish the other tasks. I've experienced this so frequently in our mission that now I have confidence to even command the spirit world to help me with certain responsibilities: to meet a certain person on a given day, to assist in getting into some office, to guide people to come to the center or to cross my path as I make my round of daily responsibilities. Of course, there are certain external advantages in that our city is not so large, and that we are already well known here, but I feel that the largest factor is simply that the spirit world is so close to, so alive to the African people; they often listen to and follow their intuition, so this offers a great advantage to the spiritual world in its assistance to us.
I confidently rely on the spiritual world now and know that the key is knowing how to control, how to command them to cooperate with us, because we are too few in number to accomplish the restoration without them. With sincere prayer and the proper conditions, their assistance is always ready, and I feel that in the future the spiritual world will enable us to make a spiritual whirlwind and, at last, a substantial victory to lead the people of Central Africa to our True Parents and to final restoration.
During the course of the mission in the Central African Republic, the problems of our nation were very intense, but the greatest suffering of the people was always more spiritual than physical. Our nation, located in the true heart of Africa, is a well-watered plateau and grassland region, which can yield food rather abundantly. The climate is tropical and therefore the usual tropical diseases are rampant, but with the effective use of modern health control techniques, these could be eradicated. However, the greatest burdens besetting our nation are in the education and economic realms.
This lack of freedom in the atmosphere was naturally difficult for me and the other missionaries to accustom ourselves to. However, because of the language barrier during the first year, I feel we were very protected by heaven from the impact of actually understanding how difficult the situation was. It took quite a while to realize how deep ran the fear and suspicion among the people and how isolated they were from the world and the realities of what was happening around the globe.
This oppression of the spirit, the inopportunity and consequent inability to think or act freely was the most overriding concern I felt as the spiritual parent and forefather of the C.A.R. The Central African people seem to be endowed with a rather quiet and passive internal nature as it is, and such a situation served only to inhibit further any latent creativity or desire for free expression. Thus, even though we always witnessed and always taught the Principle and always tried to encourage discussion and thought based on the Principle, it was very difficult for them to understand.
If one makes a tour of the major cities and towns of the Central African Republic, widespread physical suffering is immediately evident. Houses are still mostly of mud; outside the main cities new clothes or household utensils are rare; the people appear obviously tired or ill. Of course, most persons do manage to keep at least one or two fields under cultivation (cotton, peanuts, sesame seed, millet, cassava or coffee, depending on the region), but the production/yield is always low since they cultivate by hand and have no access to and little familiarity with the use of fertilizer or insecticides.
Most of the assistance has come from the Christian missionaries. There are both Catholic and Protestant missions scattered all throughout the country; most seem to maintain some type of hospital or dispensary for the people in their area, as well as offering basic health or family education. But these efforts are far from adequate. Also, the education system is very inadequate and existing primary schools serve less than half the population. Less than 20 percent of the people under 40 are able to obtain a high school education and nearly all those over 40 are illiterate. Furthermore, job opportunities for the educated are extremely limited.
So where to begin? So many evenings I reflected upon these spiritual and physical barriers before the people of our nation. They obviously feel a sense of helplessness and more often than not have reacted simply by putting out a hand and Begging, "Donnezmoi" (give me) or "Aidez-moi" (help me). In the past, many groups had responded to such pleas -- missionaries, French colonists,
United Nations -- and the habit seems to have become ingrained. Only recently have such groups as the United Nations adopted a pragmatic philosophy along the order of "If you give a man a fish, he'll eat for one day; if you teach a man to fish, he'll eat for his entire life."
The dependency/pity attitude seemed to be ingrained in the people from their childhood, as we searched so yearningly to find those able to accept the reality that man is the responsible partner of God: the Kingdom of Heaven, the ideal world must be built with our own hands. But always we nurtured the hope that it was not/could not be everyone who reacted this way; there must be those ready to shoulder the responsibility and to take the initiative. So, during the first four years, we looked, searched, prayed and taught the Principle -- we tried, but the harvest was meager.
Then in 1979, the situation in the country changed, and hope became a tangible, breathable reality for the first time in longer than many persons could remember.
The crucial need at present is for people to realize that each man and woman must do his or her share to rebuild, reconstruct and seize hold of the future. If dependency can be educated to become initiative, if fear can be transformed into confidence, and especially if selfish or revengeful desires can he overcome, then the growth and future of this young nation can he assured.
Our gratitude goes again to our True Parents for allowing us this precious experience of working as their disciples, their children and their comrades in this last assault on the satanic forces of the world. We understood so little five years ago, and even now are only at the threshold of realizing what building the heavenly kingdom means; their love and their patience has sustained us and will lead us on forever.