Forbidden Fruit

September 20, 1975

I lost my first spiritual child, S. John, today by my own faithlessness.

David told us Thursday morning to only witness to high-standard people, that it was easy to witness to someone with a low spirit, but difficult to witness to someone with a higher spirit than our own.

That day I witnessed to S. John, but I was uneasy, so I gave him the facts and the pamphlet and cut it short. He showed up for dinner last night and on the spur of the moment decided to come for the weekend. He was on vacation from work and he had another week. He was really prepared, really ready to come. I did very little to try to persuade him for fear of scaring him off.

Last night we arrived at Boonville, set our sleeping bags on the floor in front of the lecture stage. We were lying there about to doze off when the black board fell over. It landed right next to S. John's head but did not hit him, thank God. He got up and went outside to sleep.

This morning I found him very cheery and open to a new experience. We took a hike upstream to the hill where I first found out who the Lord of the Second Advent is. We shared an orange and a peach. I had learned from James yesterday that it is important for us to receive gifts from the fallen world because it helps those people to grow at the time.

We were downtown and James had shared some chocolate with me that Ed, whom James had met that day and had talked into coming for the weekend and will probably stay the week, had given him. But Claudine, who I had met the day before, was standing there talking to Mitch and I gave her the chocolate James had just given me. Which James said defeated the purpose of heaven receiving gifts from the fallen world.

At least S. John was participating in the activities. We had been sharing an apple just before the dodge ball game, but there was still some left, which he kept in his pocket. Afterward he pulled it out and I sort of motioned for a bite, but he said he wasn't going to share it with me and I realized I had just betrayed his trust. He sat through the next lecture, the Introduction to the Principle, and suddenly decided to leave. He didn't even stay for the group meeting afterward.

Talking to him as we walked down the lane, I realized that because I had broken my trust, Satan had claimed him. He had no reason for leaving, but I managed to get him to admit to his own arrogance just before he left.

I was walking back with Diana, Big Jim's assistant, and she asked me if I thought he heard any of my arguments. We passed by a fat dead toad in the road. I said that the only significant thing I saw was that he had admitted to his own arrogance.

I found a $10 bill on the side of the road, which I stuck in my pocket. But then I realized that it was a condition to make up for my faithlessness earlier. So I gave the money to Diana and told her to give it to Big Jim and I went to pray that HF would bring S. John back through this condition of faith.