Poke in the Third Eye

1975.10.17

Tremendous day! Went flower selling for a change and exceeded my goal of $50. It was really great to sell flowers again. In fact, I am waiting to go out on a weekend flower trip to Reno as I write this.

I received my black leather jacket with the Grateful Dead patch from Gayle yesterday. This morning I gave the patch to David as a gift to heaven, and that's when I found out he had been in a band for four years back in Philadelphia and had almost played with the Dead once. He told me they had backed up some pretty hot bands. I still have to holy salt the jacket and some other clothes.

I mentioned to James last night that I was hoping we would have a chance to be together flower-selling or witnessing soon, so it was providential that we did both today. Actually, his standard is so high that I am finding it difficult right now to make oneness with my own spiritual parent, whose physical birthday is the same as my spiritual birthday. But I know that that is just part of growing and that someday we will make complete oneness.

Also last night I got into crossing the eyes like Don Juan taught Carlos and it was really strange the way it worked. Tonight I looked in the mirror and actually saw my third eye this way. At least Steven, my guest tonight, said that that was how one saw it.

Steven and Jan I witnessed to yesterday, but they didn't come over until tonight. It turned out Steven was in the Unification Church for five months before he left. This really interested me, how someone could be in the church that long and then leave. I wanted to talk to him someplace where we could be alone, so I took him downstairs to the flower room. No one was down there.

Steven said he knew it was the truth, he just couldn't live this way. He is so beautiful and mellow that I really had to listen hard, yet he spoke not ill words against Father and claimed the Principle is the truth. Yet he saw hypocrisy in some members of the church. I guess there really are a lot of Family members who don't understand Principle in depth, which is unfortunate and could even be dangerous. But talking to him and looking back over the week of meeting people who had been in the church, I felt that this was all a test of my faith.

Until recently I had taken it for granted. I had heard the truth in my first week at Boonville and I naturally assumed that it was the same experience for most everyone. But only recently have I become aware of the tremendous bomb-out rate in the Family, and it always seems to come down to no one really cares enough to really want to work hard for the messiah. It is easy enough to doubt if you want, but believing -- that is the really hard part. Not believing on an intellectual level, but on really deep heartistic level that comes from actualizing.

I see fewer and fewer really righteous people around me, but this only inspires me to be stronger and more righteous for heaven. TOUGH! I am really beginning to believe that I am destined for some great mission, and I believe that James is also destined for an even greater mission. But right now I can't even guess what our futures really hold for us.

Wednesday night David shared that during World War Two, when the Japanese invaded Pearl Harbor, they were given enough fuel to get to Pearl Harbor and half-way back. They were expected to rise to the challenge. I think Heavenly Father has some serious challenges in store.