Leslie's Encore

1976.6.10

Today was not as fruitful. I only made $147, and I had pledged $200. So I feel I must repent much more. It has really been difficult to pray. The things I used to make my prayers out of don't seem right or so deep as what I want to feel. It is a difficult struggle. I appreciate that I am learning more from my errors than my victories. I know HF is really counting on me to change my heart as quickly as possible.

I fundraised downtown Little Rock. Compared to Denver it was really good, but compared to Denver it is like a small town. Tonight in a Kmart parking lot I met a family named Walker who belonged to the Gospel Assembly Church. They knew all about the Unification Church and Reverend Moon and were fairly positive. Mr. Walker had gone to New York for the parents conference. The UC state leader here in Arkansas, Bruce Brown, has been working with them a lot. They invited us to come to church and give our testimonies. I hope we can take a Sunday afternoon to do that.

I think the effect of Yankee Stadium is beginning to be felt. I have not met the usual negative people. Instead people seem rather curious or are downright positive. I told a man yesterday that if he liked what he saw in me, then he liked the church. So he gave.

I have been reflecting a little bit on my visit home with Leslie. She cried when I first called her, and she cried when she came over to my parents' house and first saw me. I have been asking myself why.

First of all, she was expecting to meet the old Glenn, who used to swear a lot, knew nothing, and had an opinion on everything. I could be hell to get along with. I remember some very painful times. But she said she only wanted to remember the good times. There really weren't so many. It was all romanticized memories that aren't actually true. But for her to be able to cry for those times and want to return to that indicates to me that she has not been very happy these past couple of years. Her spirit reflected the same feeling.

Anyway, I shouldn't space out or waste too much time thinking about her. I feel free from her influence now that I have seen her and been with her.