Into the Abyss

1977.12.17

Yesterday was even worse than the day before. I woke up completely depressed. Never have I been so unhappy since my life in the church. Unable to pray, I feel I was forced or driven to the truth, to the Divine Principle. I read a little bit of chapter two, then fell asleep.

But when I woke up I felt much better. I began reading again. Then I realized that it is the truth that sets us free. I felt I had received liberation from the hell I had experienced these last three days. The Divine Principle is my Abel.

I haven't completely recovered from the shock of the experience yet, as I am still relying somewhat heavily on the Grateful Dead to soften the pain. But still I know my salvation is in knowing and uniting with the truth. If God will give me a little more time to steady myself, I think I'll make it.