Seven Steps of True Love

Everyone, without exception, wants to be happy. People feel happy when their desires are fulfilled. However, the desires which result in injustice or harm do not bring enduring joy, free from the pangs of conscience. Our conscience repels the evil desires that result in unrighteousness, and longs to satisfy only good desires that lead to true happiness. Yet, since the beginning of time, people have failed to follow strictly the good desires of the conscience, mainly because of ignorance.

What kind of knowledge is essential to happiness? Science? Power? Wealth? No -- the knowledge of true love.

The following seven steps to happiness and fulfillment are not esoteric but are based on common sense and a clear understanding of the dimensions of love. You need not accomplish all seven steps in order to enjoy the fruits of taking just one, although each step leads to the next. This booklet will empower you with knowledge that, if applied, will improve your life.

Figure 1

As a baby you are not capable of giving much. All you can do is receive. You are completely selfish. This is not wrong for infants. Your cuteness itself is by design, for it powerfully motivates your parents to love you. It is essential that you receive abundant love at this stage so that you can give love at the higher stages.

Here we begin to learn the concept of sharing. If you do someone a favor, that someone win return a favor. A milestone in the development of brother-sister love is the realization that you ought to initiate the reciprocation by giving first. Perfect love is the ability to give without receiving. This enables us to have a successful marriage.

A major component of happiness in life is the ability to share intimate love with a spouse. Through complete self-giving, physically and spiritually, the divine substantially enters our fives and establishes the power to five in joy and happiness. True marriage is eternal and absolute.

The highest love is that which parents give their children. It is unconditional, marked by sacrifice and investment, all for the sake of the other. We experience sublime joy through this type of love.

This principle is learned in the family, from childhood. When you followed your parent's guidance to share with your siblings, you realized that there are people other than yourself. And when you shared, you felt the joy of approval from your parents, appreciation from the one with whom you shared, and satisfaction from a good conscience.

Obedience to parents is a preparation for harmony in society. Through the extended family, one learns to love one's elders. Elders can be regarded as aunts, uncles and grandparents. Society becomes an extension of the family. This ability to love all people, developed through adolescence and adulthood, brings peace to yourself and your surroundings.

Although you received tangible rewards and approval as a child, you graduate to higher levels of serving where the rewards are not so tangible. As you grow, you gain the ability to commit to greater causes: ideals of goodness, truth and beauty, even at a sacrifice. This culminates in a life full of meaning, and prepares you to serve God, whom you cannot see but to whom you are learning to ultimately relate.

Figure 2

As you grow, you wonder about eternity, about the origin of the universe, and about the nature of the Creator. Awareness of the invisible Creator and the ability to work in harmony with Him is a profound experience. Why would people such as St. Francis, Buddha and Moses give up an opulent lifestyle for a life of simplicity and humility? They discovered that the pleasures of the flesh pale in comparison to the bliss that enraptures the mind through union with God.

The Psalmist conveys this yearning for God in its essence when he writes, "As the deer longs for flowing streams, my soul longs for God." St. Augustine pines for God, "My soul is restless, until it rests in you, O Lord!" It is then no wonder that we feel empty and spiritually unsettled when we do not find God.

God's parental love was always manifested through our parents' love. And yet, they did not create this impulse to love. The source of love is God. That God exists and loves us as our Parent is the greatest discovery one can make. Blessed are those who find God early in their life and walk in His footsteps.

Figure 3

The key to good character is self-control. As hard as you may try, you cannot suppress your physical desires. On the contrary, physical desires are God-given and are to be satisfied in a principled way. Complete happiness arises only through the fulfillment of both the physical and spiritual desires. The problem comes when you allow your physical desires to dominate you. This opens the door to bad habits and vices. Alcoholism, compulsive gambling, and drug abuse are just some of the symptoms of a person whose body is not under control.

Developing a good character requires continual practice. But the reward is immeasurable. You will have a deep sense of self-respect and pride. Those around you will appreciate you and thereby reciprocate good with good, multiplying your goodness. This translates into a life of happiness and fulfillment.

A horse controlled by a rider gallops faster than a wild one. A martial artist throwing controlled punches is more deadly than one swinging wildly. Ten rowers rowing in unison will defeat ten stronger rowers rowing at their own tempos. Order and discipline are necessary for the fulfillment of happiness in every arena of life, including sex.

Today we are taught to question everything, including the traditional wisdom that sexual activity is safest and most enjoyable within faithful marriage. By now, however, it is common knowledge that the misuse of love carries serious consequences. Sexual activity with multiple partners brings high risk of sexually transmitted diseases, including AIDS. But the consequences to the spirit are even more destructive. There is the guilt which haunts you when you abuse your sexuality. Lowered self-esteem and regret may last a lifetime. But even that is mild compared to the danger that accompanies the fury of a jilted lover. Jealousy can turn deadly in someone who cannot deal with rejection. Countless crimes are committed as a consequence of infidelity.

The brief pleasures of infidelity have nothing to do with love. True love is about doing things which benefit the people for whom you care. Adultery, on the contrary, shatters the family. Every member suffers, all because you did not learn to put aside the urge of the moment. Simply recall the shattered fives of some of the tele-evangelists. Sexual promiscuity even destroys nations: Rome is but one example; America may turn into another. Lack of common-sense or self-discipline can lead to a lifetime of sorrow.

Figure 4

The family is meant to be the place where everyone is concerned to practice true love. Family life is essential for our wen-being. The love between husband and wife is the foundation for happiness in life. Studies show that sex is far more enjoyable in marriage than in cavalier pre-marital or extra-marital affairs. Plan to have a family with at least two children, so that you and your children will benefit from all familial relationships.

Needless to say, a family where there is love between father and mother provides the strongest security for the children. Studies also show that most criminals come from dysfunctional, broken homes. When families are wholesome, crime rates, drug abuse, unwanted pregnancies, abortions and neuroses naturally decline. Everyone in society benefits.

The happiness you feel at home ends at the doorstep of your house if society is in turmoil. Innocent children are hit by stray bullets during gun battles between youth gangs. Anywhere you go, you are in danger of becoming a victim of a crime. Your joy ends where the problems of society begin. Therefore, your work for the peace and safety of society benefits you and your family.

The family provides the resources for social healing. In the family is the need for a judge, peacemaker, counselor and decision maker. When siblings quarrel, the parent judges and ends the quarrel. It is both loving and efficient, and prompts our spiritual growth as parents. You may by mistake judge unfairly. In that case, will you not try to make up for the unfairness, and even overcompensate? This helps the child who was wronged to overcome his resentment and practice forgiveness. It helps the parent to be more patient and wise.

In society, we must strive to maintain morality, civility and justice with the same parental heart.

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If you disobey physical laws, you will harm yourself and others. When you harmonize with nature and her laws, you stay healthy and enjoy the creation. Likewise, if you disregard spiritual laws, the way of Heaven, you jeopardize your spiritual health. As the body hungers for physical food, the spirit hungers for spiritual food. Service and sacrifice are the basic nourishment for the spirit. Through living for the sake of others, your spirit grows. You move into alignment with Heaven.

Alignment with Heaven in the family begins with true marriage, and you cannot accomplish a true marriage by yourself! It requires a man and woman working together. Throughout history, in every culture, there has been a problem between man and woman, preventing us from receiving Heaven's Blessing in marriage. The problem is selfishness, and it has a spiritual root. Spiritual traditions refer to the root of selfishness as Satan, Iblis, maya, lust, sexism, and so forth. This root bears the fruit of adultery, murder and the world of suffering.

The root cause of struggle in the family is the absence of God's involvement. If God is not in the marriage, true love will not be present in the family.

God desires a central role in the conjugal love of His children. He wants to make it great. Once His Blessing is given, God will be in the midst of your family. You will feel God's presence and your family will overflow with love.

Today you have this opportunity through a very simple yet meaningful dedication ceremony. Through the Blessing of Marriage, you and your family will dwell together eternally. Such marriages will be free of abuse since both partners are selfless and loving. Success in marriage takes hard work, and we need a higher power every step of the way.

We mark every significant event in our lives with a ceremony. What is more significant than celebrating God's presence in our marriage? God is calling all couples to receive His Blessing of Marriage today. The road to happiness and fulfillment is opening before you.

True Family Values are universal in religious outlook. They are in harmony with your faith. Your life will be happier because you will have the knowledge and spiritual power not only to weather the storms that inevitably come with marriage but also to strengthen and enrich your marriage.

You may think that you can create an enduring marriage. But are you absolutely confident? Are you confident of your prospective marriage partner? The odds are against marital success. But it is proven that a spiritual foundation turns those odds around.

If you think that you or your partner can benefit from education in this area, do the right thing: register together in a TFV seminar. Learning together helps you to grow closer together.

You are invited to participate in the Blessing of Marriage. Your life will be renewed. You will have a greater sense of love for yourself and others. You will feel God's penetrating love. Others will be attracted to you because of your loving nature. When love is felt inside and out, you can digest difficulties and challenges easily. Life will be worth living! The ceremony is simple and can be performed in your home. Call (212) 997-2362 or your local FFWPU office today for more information.

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