God's Trust In Us

Kirstin Abrahams
April 28, 2006

Recently I have been given the opportunity to put all of my investment into witnessing, and taking care of guests, which, since my first year in witnessing has been the most fulfilling and deep experience of all of my time on STF. The first 7/8 months of my third year was focused on doing various other things, planning, organizing, leading meetings, supporting the 2nd years in the witnessing training, and because the team left San Francisco to focus on the Berkeley campus the amazing guests from last year I had to offer up to Gods hands and have faith that God would take care of them while I put my energy in other places.

This was probably one of the biggest challenges to overcome in all of my STF time, but recently, when I left the Colorado workshop and my new mission was changed, I began to receive calls from many of the past guests from San Francisco, asking me about upcoming events, workshops, even just simply catching up on life’s challenges. Every time I met a old or new guest, I felt, my heart was about to burst out of my chest, and this deep feeling of love from Heavenly Father, that he trusts me to take care of such an amazing person. When I would go out to witness in the streets of San Francisco and the campus at Berkeley I felt, heaven is really behind me, and all the other 2nd gen. We just have to believe.

On a more personal level, recently I met this beautiful sister in San Francisco, named Gabrielle. She came out to a service project, and came to study the Principle at the Ashby house. When she left she was so happy to have met such genuine people, and felt, a true desire to continue to study the principle and take part in accomplishing Gods dream to form a better world. When I called her the next night about the dates from our 7 day workshop, she came across many negativities, and told me, "I never met more genuine people and I felt so happy about what you guys are doing, but, I can’t come back", and then she began to tell me all the bad things she heard about us and True Father.

When that would happen last year Normally, I would cry and cry and start to lose a lot of hope and I would be afraid of the pain of such a deep rejection, but this time was different. Suddenly, all I could say to her was, "I am sorry, I understand, we will still be there for you, but, we can’t make you do anything, this is something that changed my life and I just wanted to share such an amazing thing, but, I hope you continue to be the amazing person you are and keep searching for Gods love for you…because I know he values you so much." I could here her tear up on the other line, but she still had to say goodbye. My heart was torn, and I began to have thoughts in my head like, why me? I have been working so hard…I have been investing so much these 3 years and the people I love keep leaving, and rejecting, it’s not fair. Then I prayed, and I couldn’t stop crying in repentance, because the truth is, God was there, God never left, when I was crying, God was sorry, I felt God comforting my heart telling me, I trust you, that is why you face heartache, please understand though that this is my heart too, this is True Parents heart too….I realized, True Father went through the most suffering, and persecution and rejection….but, Father is the one God trusts the most. What I should have been doing was comforting Gods Heart, My attitude totally changed!

The lesson I can never forget as I am going this course of Faith is no matter what happens, no matter how painful things may get sometimes, God will never leave me, and after the Storm is always a rainbow, after a challenge is always blessing…without the challenges, blessings wouldn’t seem as amazing and valuable, and on another note, when you offer the ones that you love, God will take care of them.

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