Question: Nansook made Hyo Jin Nim out to be a person who detested his Father.

No, that was never the problem. At least not to my experience. But I wasn't in the most inner circle of his members. They were Joe Longo (who led the band Ancestors) and others who were dealing with the "rock providence". I was somewhere in the middle but did have personal contact with him through the years there. I was responsible for producing CD's called Parents Favorites that many times included the True Children singing in them. All together I made seven CD's that were sold to raise money for the Manhattan Center. But many other people had more contact then me (as there were so many projects going on there) and to get the most rounded viewpoint one would need to hear from all involved, as our interpretations varied greatly from one another depending on our experience.

Speaking of projects, I believe that Hyo Jin Nim was extremely innovative as far as that goes. He would tell us that "the American media is the one who put Father in jail, so the only way to bring success is to dominate the media". He would push himself pretty ruthlessly for every deadline and would constantly be looking to challenge "the enemy" head on. One time he came up with the idea to send in some members to CAN and the deprogramming movement and tape them with our high tech equipment. He would push us to do countless documentaries and fact finding missions on every thing from the "Kinsey Report" to what are the most popular lyrics in the rock, heavy metal and alternative music groups. He invested so much in the rock group Ancestors and sincerely wanted them to obtain star status. To say he detested Father would not be correct by any means. He seemed driven by an impossible goal to take the world back for Father. I say impossible because he wanted it all done immediately and was not willing to work within any limitations of budget, manpower etc. His drive was truly unstoppable.

Roy, his chief engineer in Studio 4 told me that when Ancestors great "break through" seemed to be less and less likely to happen, that it affected Hyo Jin Nim so much. And Hyo Jin Nim's tendencies to use any outlets he could to ease the pressure became even more intense. One time Leon, (the drummer on many of Hyo Jin Nim's albums) was saying that one day Hyo Jin Nim would take out his guns and wish he could shoot anything alive to relieve the pressure. Then Hyo Jin Nim would say "that's OK cause at least I'll be dead someday and I can have a little peace!"

No, I believe that the problem (or one of them) was just the opposite. Hyo Jin Nim wanted desperately to help Father, gain Fathers' trust, prove himself, etc and in general just succeed. That was his motivation and I believe that basically anyone at the Manhattan Center would attest to that. Those parts it seems to me were left out of Nan Sooks book almost entirely.

But I wouldn't be true to myself if I didn't include the fact that Nan Sooks book helped me understand something that I was never able to admit to myself. It is not just Hyo Jin Nim. For years I had been able to separate True Father from everything and everyone else that seemed less then ideal in the movement. If we fundraise in wheelchairs -- that's not Father. If we falsify tax records, it's not Father. If True Children go astray -- that's not Father (in fact maybe even the members fault ) . No. After my experience I can no longer make myself believe that. To quote from Nan Sooks book -- Father doesn't know because he doesn't want to know about it. Those things happen because of the way Father has set up the movement, particularly with the Cain/Able practice. Not Hyo Jin Nim. If Hyo Jin Nim had his way he would have done two things in his life -- hunting and music. He didn't start out being a tyrant and I believe he has a very personality by nature.

But I can't tell you how many times I followed something for Hyo Jin Nim or Manhattan Center that I felt sure was wrong, because of the way we as a movement practice the Cain and Able principle. Father has set that up as our way of life. All the True Children were raised with the understanding that they are absolutely above everyone and that no one may tell them "No," or "this is wrong". My honest belief is that this is a mistake. If no one besides True Father can discipline the True Children and He doesn't do that, then the result is an unchecked situation that leads us to much of what happened to Hyo Jin Nim and his family. Sure we at Manhattan Center were taught that whenever Hyo Jin Nim came into the studios with a violent temper that it was our fault as Americans. And Nan Sook was led to believe that she was responsible for 100% of Hyo Jin Nim's difficulties etc. This is so wrong and has led to so much destruction and loss of power for our movement. It sounds very principled to always blame ourselves instead of looking to the source, but I believe is one of the ways were Satan invaded us in Manhattan Center and the movement. Also for Nan Sook the pressure was just impossible and I feel deeply sorry for her. All of us that came in contact with her knew her to be a very straight ahead and honest type person. I feel that there is truth in both camps and just we as a movement would have the courage to face more of the truth then we do at the moment.

Again this is just one persons' observations. I don't claim to understand everything I saw but am not willing to just ignore it a have a blind faith type belief in certain areas where I might have had many years ago. I don't mind sharing some experiences from time to time about Manhattan Center etc. but am still trying to digest it myself.

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