The Words of the Beutl Family
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The Words of the Beutl Family |
I was conceived at the beginning of spring in 1956, and when my mother Walpurga was in her sixth month of pregnancy she made a pilgrimage to Rome where she offered her next child to God, praying that my life may be dedicated to His Will.
My father Robert and my mother had got to know each other via the telephone as they were both working at the post office and both left their hometowns to start a family in a little village at the border of Austria and Czech Republic, which was at that time part of the iron curtain between communist and free countries. In the nineteen fifties my parents build a little house mostly with their own hands and the help of two uncles whose profession was brick layer and joiner respectively. I was the first child to be born in their new home in the morning of November 21, 1956 as their sixth child.
During the first seven years of their marriage my mother became pregnant every year and finally she gave birth to 10 children, seven sons and three daughters, whom she educated in the Catholic tradition together with my father who worked at the post office of the village and as assistant to the local priest, e.g. giving out holy communion at the mass and serving in the local religious council.
We met every morning and evening together for prayer, on Thursday evenings my parents would kneel in meditation about Jesus desperate prayer in Gethsemane, on Friday's my family would go to the church to walk the Stations of the Cross, portrayed in 14 huge paintings on the walls of the tall church building, besides attending prayer meetings and mass very regularly. In the summer months we even went on certain days at 4 a.m. together as a family for a prayer walk to a chapel on the hill of our village…
This meant that my life was closely connected to religious practices from early childhood and at the age of ten my parents sent me to a Capuchin monastery while I attended a school run by Jesuits in the major town of our region. The regime at that place where we slept about 40 pupils in one room was very strict. For me it meant a rather lonely life internally because we could rarely return to our families. Especially on weekends I would search for love from God in those long hours where I felt the external separation from the warmth of my parental home strongly.
Due to external circumstances I could return to my family after one year and continue grammar school in the next town which was a great relief for me. In the years that followed I began to read more and more about the life of Catholic saints and felt called to follow their example and dedicate my life totally to God, to serve him as a Catholic priest.
In my desire to find out God's will I read also many revelations which people received. I learnt that Mother Mary appeared not only in places like Fatima and Lourdes but to many other people and spoke about the Last Days, including the Second Coming, even saying that Christ was on earth carrying the cross. These revelations were a good preparation for me to accept the Messiah when my elder brother was witnessed in summer 1973 and immediately began to speak to me about the couple of lectures he had heard at that time because he knew I was searching intensively to find the deepest truth.
In those years I left my home from Monday to Saturday at 6 a.m. to be able to attend the mass at 6:30 a.m. and then I prayed in the church until 8:00 a.m. when the lessons began at school. I used all my free time to pray and to research about God's Will and when my elder brother brought me the Divine Principle book (as my parents did not allow me to visit the center to listen to lectures) I read it in one week, mostly at night with candle light, even kneeling in front of the book, as I felt such a special atmosphere when I was studying its content.
When it was clear for me that the Lord of the Second Advent had come, I wanted to quit school and join brothers and sisters in the center but I had to finish my A-levels first. Thanks God my parents were finally also open to see what kind of group some of their children had joined. They went to a two day workshop and also became members. From that time we had a prayer room in our house and tried to live according to the Heavenly tradition.
In those years we had a very good standard in our center in the main town of the region where more than 10 brothers and sisters lived together in a big flat, so it was for me like living in Heaven externally and internally to be there and to join the witnessing outreach which brought many fruits at that time.
After one and a half year in that town I joined the mission in the south of Austria until after an equally long period I had the chance to go to England to join the International One World Crusade and to invest myself into Home Church work, what I enjoyed a lot.
Based on my successful investment in Great Britain my national leader Peter Koch asked me at the end of 1979 to become an underground missionary to Eastern Europe. I returned to Austria to prepare for this task, but then he changed my mission to work on other levels against communism, like spreading on German university campuses our journal called Integral, dealing with the ideological confrontation between East and West.
In June 1981 my parents attended the 39 (previously married) couples Blessing in Germany and I was matched at that time with Zäzilia as my eternal spouse, who had already before a dream that my mother would become her mother in law -- so our marriage was prepared in Heaven and True Parents connected us here on earth. In October of the following year we could attend the 6000 couples Blessing in Korea.
After fundraising in Belgium and Netherland and doing Home Church work in Vienna I was blessed to represent my nation at the Seunghwa ceremony of Heung Jin Nim and to work in Korea for the victory over communism in the months that followed. During that time I could connect well with our homeland of faith, including special experiences of prayer in the mountains, where I went even at night because the days were filled with mission work.
Upon my return to Europe in summer 1984 I learnt about the work of Heung Jin Nim through mediums like Faith Jones, a member of the Blessing trinity of my parents. In autumn of that year Pres. Young Whi Kim invited me to join the German Unification Church and so I worked in a mobile witnessing team in various cities until I was asked to support the CAUSA work in West Berlin, where I joined the efforts for the victory over communism until the fall of the Berlin Wall.
In the months that followed the mobilization of Western European members to go as missionary to East European countries was prepared under the guidance of Rev. Won Pil Kim. I could join this mission outreach in Hungary together with my wife and our first son Mikula who was born on God's Day 1989.
In summer 1992 our second son Gabriel was born and at the end of that year I came to Russia to work there with missionaries from around the world for the sake of building a victorious foundation in that nation. My wife joined me half a year later and we stayed there until we were called to become national messiahs, and moved to our nation Andorra in 1997 together with our boys and our first daughter Christiane who was born in a Russian town.
Because we could not receive the official permission to stay in this country my family moved after one and a half years in Andorra to Barcelona where Mikula and Gabriel attended school until we had to return for external reasons to my hometown where our second daughter Viktoria was born in February 2001.
In the years that followed I invested into raising our children while working as security until 2006, when Dr. Jun Ho Seuk asked me to become missionary to Georgia (Caucasus). I worked in this and other formerly communist countries while at the same time investing through internet outreach to support brothers and sisters, which included six months in Korea where I visited many Blessed families with a mother from the Philippines and a Korean father.
Beginning with December 2007 until I left our fatherland in February 2008 I could attend Hyung Jin Nim's morning dedication from 3 a.m. to 6 a.m. nearly every day and build in this way a good foundation of unity with him and Yeon Ah Nim.
Back in my hometown I continued my investment to support brothers and sisters, with one of the projects being the development of the website dedicated to Young Jin Nim which you can find at the link youngjinnim.com (username: Youngjinnim password: welcome)
I had published a website dedicated to Heung Jin Nim in 2006 heungjinnim.com (username: Heungjinnim password: welcome).
In the 18 volumes of the e-book Sunshine in my Heart -- Testimony to a life dedicated to unite God's children -- all my public letters and many photos of my family are published. sunshine-in-the-heart.com (username: sunshine password: welcome)
In October 2009 my first son Mikula was blessed with a French sister, Sara, and in November of that year my second son Gabriel was matched by True Father with Carrie, who grew up in a family of 8 children. Mikula joined his wife and Gabriel is presently at STF while my two daughters are at home with my wife as I continue my dedication to support not only my family and tribe but also to fulfil my mission as national messiah, which means for me to invest not only into the restoration of the people of Andorra but to help brothers and sisters to fulfil their respective missions.
With this basic outline of my life since my birth until now I gave you an overview of major developments since my birth -- how our Heavenly Father has worked on external levels in my life, enabling me to go to many countries to work there while on an internal level He educated me through a great variety of experiences. From this viewpoint I can confidently say that my life has been guided by our Heavenly Father, even though I made many mistakes along the way. He was always there, ready to forgive and to go forward together with me in order to establish a victorious foundation.
As I mentioned in the first part of my testimony, my life has been connected with God from the very beginning. I am grateful I can stand on the foundation of three generations being blessed (my parents and my sons) and that I can go forward with deeper conviction than ever concerning the precious investment of our Father in Heaven to lead me a certain course in order to build a strong basis that brings lasting results.
When I joined, the Austrian church was like a family with the first missionaries to Europe, Peter and Gertrud Koch, as parents who cared about each member of our church in a personal way. In those years we were about 100 brothers and sisters, dedicated to witness in my homeland or wherever they may be sent. Our national parents educated us to stand firmly on our own feet based on developing a personal relationship with the Living God.
Getting to know the Divine Principle meant for me personally a certain liberation in my prayer life because until then I considered it important to pray official prayers like the rosary and many others. From that time forward I could feel confident to concentrate on personal prayer without any formality, sharing my heart freely with our Father in Heaven.
Especially in the first years of my life in our church I spent many hours in prayer. Over the years my prayer life varied greatly with periods of concentrating more on direct outreach rather than on establishing an internal foundation while at other times I invested especially into laying an inner base for my witnessing efforts.
The main challenge for me like for many others was how to keep a certain level of seriousness towards God's Will. As I had determined to live a God-centered life already long before I joined our church it was not difficult for me to put the mission first above any other considerations, but to maintain a high personal standard was not easy.
From an external viewpoint I can say that starting with the time I joined until settling in my hometown three decades later my life has been one of moving again and again from one place to the next so that I did not stay at any place longer than about one and a half years. There were always new missions and tasks given to me at new places, enabling me to go through all kinds of situations and to learn to deal with a great variety of challenges.
Looking back I am very grateful for having had the chance to invest myself in some 21 countries for shorter or longer periods. For me it was always natural that if I am in a certain place then I would be there wholeheartedly, making efforts to feel at home with the people of that nation as if it was my own land of birth. This meant for example that I invested into studying various languages, because my heart has always been to connect with people directly, overcoming external and internal barriers.
As I was going to many places to work there in order to advance God's providence I experienced again and again that our Heavenly Father had prepared special people to support me internally or externally, what gave me the strength to go always forward with deep conviction because it was obvious for me that the good spirit world was preparing many encounters with people who had a good foundation to understand God's Will.
On the other hand there have been surely also enough obstacles to be overcome, all kinds of hindrances and barriers that required a heart of true love from my side, which I did not manage to manifest in many cases. Still I could see that our Heavenly Father was always continuing to work with me based on my repenting for mistakes and trying anew to establish a victorious foundation.
It is my experience that it does not depend on how good or not so capable we are, but first and most of all on our heart -- what kind of attitude we have towards God and towards our neighbor, the people with whom we are connected in our life. Mistakes can be repaired and problems that come up be resolved, but if our basic attitude is not right, this is a big hindrance for our Heavenly Father to work with us. Therefore we must first and most of all secure the best possible attitude of sincerity in front of our Divine Parent who wants to be close to us always but He can only do so on the foundation of our hearts being pure.
In my life I could see that God, as our Parent, invests continuously for the sake of our happiness and fulfillment. In order to reach this state, He has to guide us through a course of purification, of getting rid of any barriers that hinder us to feel His presence and to be one in heart with other people who are dear to us. This is at times a painful course on which many tears flow, with us having to go through suffering where we may feel like shedding our heart-blood, but in the end only great joy and fulfillment remains.
I am convinced that it is worth enduring until the end on our path of facing all kinds of internal challenges as we go through our life here on earth in preparation for living in the realm of God's Love eternally. Our True Father said on his 60th birthday that "all was love" and personally I feel the same when I look back at the five and a half decades which I could spend here on earth.
Even though I had to go through all kinds of tribulations I feel victorious and full of hope for the future, because I can develop the Four Great Realms of Heart further and further, experiencing more and more profound realms of love in the relationship with God and an ever increasing number of His children. This I wish also for each one of you as my brothers and sisters to whom I am truly grateful for putting God's Will as the first priority in your life.
Sincerely yours,
Nikolaus