The Words of the Carlson Family

Bad Chemistry

Paul Carlson
September, 2002

This month’s article is the second in a series of three examining human nature and relationships. As the title implies, we’ll focus on some of the difficulties. (Don’t worry, it gets better next month!)

Many people find the subject uncomfortable, and this article is intended for mature readers.

A national discussion has emerged about relationships. Once obscure studies have become famous. For example, all the news about men being reluctant to marry, due to permissive attitudes and punitive divorce laws. (Not to mention that old saw about "getting the milk for free.")

It’s not just men. Radical feminists sold women a bill of goods, and Americans are only now facing the consequences of their lies. About two-thirds of divorces are initiated by the wife, and only a small fraction of those involve any sort of abuse.

It’s getting harder for ladies to marry. Women almost always marry someone taller; a tall woman finds an even taller man. Wealthy men’s ‘trophy wives’ are the exceptions that prove the rule.

Women rarely ‘marry down.’ A male surgeon will marry a nurse, but a female doctor almost never weds an orderly. A career woman will perceive an ambitious man as a rival, subverting their age-old home building instincts.

This is not to say that a woman shouldn’t go forth and succeed. However, she should understand the dilemmas her success may entail. For a woman with a long career, that infamous ‘biological clock’ only makes it worse….

Michael Segell’s popular StandUp Guy books wade deep into this minefield. Read ‘em and you’ll become very grateful for our church’s Blessing tradition.

Schools and Culture

Rather than instilling good character, the Public Schools are mostly adding to this mess. Feminists dominate the teaching colleges, and their shadow is long indeed.

Many schools have ties with Planned Parenthood. On-campus clinics offer antibiotics, birth control, and even referrals to abortion clinics -- and it’s illegal to tell the parents. (Also keeping family doctors in the dark.)

In my opinion, Planned Parenthood has an animalistic view of teenage sexuality, which stems from their Darwinist perception of human nature. Worse, its organizational roots are planted in founder Margaret Sanger’s racist eugenics. She wanted "inferior" races to birth-control themselves into oblivion! (Unfortunately, a woman’s natural compassion can no longer be taken for granted.)

The most liberal schools now display ‘gay tolerance’ posters with an 800 number for the children to call.

People seeking good relationships aren’t getting much help from the Popular Culture. When The Osbournes becomes a TV hit, comparing America to the late Roman Empire just doesn’t do the trick any more.

Mixed-up human nature is at the foundation of most popular entertainment. Romance and thriller stories draw inspiration directly from cave man times. Multiple suitors for the heroine to choose from, and a bevy of available females for the hero, are universal components of their plots.


But, you say, those novels and films are so moronic! Surely intelligent types like scientists can offer hope.

Don’t count on it.

Remember the Adulterous Gene? Famous researchers insisted that adultery is okay -- even better -- due to its handy mix-and-matching of genes and homemaking. That they’d actually say this illustrates a classic ‘ivory tower’ viewpoint.

There are homosexual scientists. Some pushed the idea of a Gay Gene. Later, they were (quietly) happy to see that theory discredited. They’d realized that most parents wouldn’t want children who carried such a gene.

Decent scientists are in a bind. Political agendas drive research funding, so they feel compelled to toe the line. Of course, some information gets through. Check out Kinky Cats, Immortal Amoebas, and Nine-Armed Octopuses, by Raymond Obstfeld. Seems there really are homosexual animals, of two kinds.

First: those too dumb to grasp their own gender, and likely to mate with anything resembling their species, and often, any promising inanimate object.

Second: those who mate only once a year. These must first defeat a horde of male rivals, then spend themselves in a day-long frenzy -- with anyone who gets close enough.

Your author does have several gay friends, but in my opinion, there are human males who combine the worst of both traits…


Some politicians are quite well-spoken. Can they help? [Author stops typing until fit of laughter subsides.] The infamous JonBenet Ramsey murder case brought whispers of a cover-up, and of pedophiles in high places. This may have to do with that other Golden Rule: he who has the gold, makes the rules.

Research the laws these people propose, and even get passed sometimes. You’ll want to become an activist -- or a hermit.

Belgium’s recent White March was an entire nation’s repudiation of such corruption, found at the very top of European society.

Mental Health

Whether from spiritual, genetic, or environmental causes, some people’s chemistry becomes unbalanced. Tragically, millions suffer from mental illness. Only now has this been placed under the coverage of group health plans. That’s a good thing, though it’s likely to become an even bigger loophole for cheating than whiplash.

The American mental health system shows great compassion, some confusion, and a measure of evil, too. The most horrible abuses have been curbed, from Nurse Ratched imitators to the overuse of Thorazine and electroshock treatments.

The reaction to this went too far. Liberals closed most of the big mental hospitals, and many of the residents ended up homeless.

Balancing such a ‘system’ is extremely difficult. Conservatorship laws were used in a terrible, but short-lived, deprogramming effort. Now they’ve been weakened to the point where an obviously ill adult (anyone short of a murderous rampager) cannot be held for more than three days. Even if it means they will get out, then walk straight into a figurative buzz saw.

It would help if more professionals understood the Spirit World. This author recalls the weirdoes that used to come around the San Francisco center. Now, as groundskeeper at our suburban Family Church, I see crazies drawn to our property like a magnet. (By desperate ancestors?) I’ve nearly had to call the police!


‘Chemistry’ is a slang word for human interactions. Humans will also employ chemicals in an attempt to improve their relationships. Usually it gets them in big trouble instead.

It’s easy to regard the homeless as worthless bums, as opposed to one’s attitude about a wandering friend. Maybe they just can’t handle money, or ongoing responsibilities.

You might regard the mentally ill as fit for warehousing, as opposed to your concern for a struggling relative. Only at the last extreme does one commit a family member to an institution.

Most people regard criminals as morally bankrupt and/or evil, except when it’s someone close who "goes wrong." Maybe they made a foolish, desperate choice. Maybe they fell in with a bad crowd. (About 90% of the women in prison got there because some guy convinced them to try something stupid.)

In the real world, stern measures must often be taken. Even so, when the personal details are known, our perspective on such people may change.


The current Culture War is predicated upon different assumptions about human nature. Are we animals, or made in God’s image? Or both? A correct understanding, moved by profound compassion, is the only force that can straighten out human relationships. And that’s the only building block that will form a better society.

At a well-publicized Release the Peace conference in Oakland, California, our members were able to explain this to an attentive gathering of civic and religious leaders. There were no easy fixes, but many brave people responded.

Right now, only a small fraction of young Americans feel ready for marriage, even when we offer it to them as a genuine Blessing from God. Perhaps they’re right to wait, but only if they take the opportunity to become mature.

It will take wisdom, patience, and maybe even some clever marketing, but sooner or later people will flock to the banner of True Love.

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