The Words of the Carlson Family

Getting Hitched - Part Two

Paul Carlson
August 15, 2003

This is the second half of an article about marriage. It’s an ancient tradition, a respected institution, and a wonderful step in life. All over the world it’s getting better, for men and especially for woman.

Even so, as a major front in the so-called Culture War, marriage is under attack. It’s become such a hot topic that discussing it can elicit furious emotions.


Marriage has numerous styles. It’s not perfect, but all societies regard it as a sacred rite. The details are fascinating.

Shiite Muslims have an unusual ‘temporary marriage’ tradition, the mut’a. These are supposed to last a minimum of 45 days, but in theory could be dissolved after one hour. (No Britney Spears jokes, please!) Then the woman, but not the man, is supposed to wait a couple of months before getting into another.

Israel only recognizes unions performed by Orthodox rabbis. This can place Jewish immigrants in an awkward spot, and many will study to gain rabbinical approval.

Your author has visited desert communities where fundamentalist Mormons engage in polygamy. They keep to themselves, and in fifty years the authorities haven’t challenged them.

Secular writers, especially of science fiction, often assume that temporary marriage contracts will be normal in the future. Legal ‘domestic partnerships’ are a big step in that direction. Opposite this, Alabama has instituted a specially binding ‘covenant marriage.’

Anyone with an understanding of God’s blueprint, the Principal of Creation, knows the true form and ideal of marriage. But formalizing that into law could be a thorny issue! How would a Heavenly Nation handle it?


Activists on all sides of the ‘culture war’ hope to enlist science in their arguments.

In sociology, marriage is America’s nearly universal ambition. The shallow, promiscuous characters on Friends and Sex In the City dreamt of eventual marriage. Have gays been "brainwashed by the $70 billion wedding industry," and thus, want to get married now? Some activists claim this, while temporizing about whether it’s a good thing.

In zoology, humans get compared to animals. I’m not a scientist, but I can study, and for several years I’ve known a primate researcher.

Ants blindly follow instinct. Their actions are based largely upon tell-tale scents. When emitting an "I’m Sick" scent, they’ll bring that ant into a safe part of the nest. But if it’s the "I’m Dead" scent, they’ll toss it outside. Including a live ant, over and over again, until that chemical wears off. Humans have instincts too, but who wants to emulate this?

Activists love to mention gay and promiscuous animals. It’s true, but the devil is in the details. Some sea creatures and amphibians are very stupid. Unaware of their own gender, they’ll attempt to mate with any handy object, until they finally get it right.

Certain male birds and mammals will fight off rivals, then engage in an annual mating frenzy—with any of its kind that gets close enough. There are men who, watched impartially, seem to behave like that! But is it a good idea?

What about chimps and gorillas? They aren’t always gentle. Sometimes a male will destroy another family, slaughtering a rival male and his offspring. Then (to the surprise of researchers), the female will embrace the killer, and bear his offspring instead!

This resembles primitive human warfare, when the enemy’s women were seized as plunder. It’s in the Homeric epics and the Old Testament. Do gays and leftists really wish to emulate this? I sure hope not . . .


Genes control the mating habits of animals, but we humans tame and breed animals, not the other way around. We don’t want to be ruled by our genes.

What do our genes dictate? In reality, men regard women as sex objects. They always have, and it’s a 500 million year old biological imperative. When the Catholic Church imposed priestly celibacy, those married at the time were separated. In one account, an elderly priest shooed his wife away from his own deathbed, confessing that he still lusted for her. Isaac Asimov, a brilliant atheist, mentioned this unshakable desire when justifying his frequent Men Only club evenings.

Untamed, men will act as predators. They have a lot to answer for, and single men are by far the worst offenders. This might go back half a billion years, or mainly to the Fall of Man, or even (according to some feminists) to the loss of a prehistoric matriarchal paradise.

Marriage is the institution for taming men, and thus, one of the cornerstones of human civilization. It’s an amazing denial of human nature, on the part of radical feminists, to claim otherwise. Several of them, after decades of slamming men, eventually got hitched.


Recently, scientists discovered that a gene controls the monogamy of certain mammals. By splicing in a gene from the faithful prairie vole, they made its cousin, the promiscuous meadow vole, become just as monogamous.

Upon this announcement, various media outlets conducted man-on-the-street interviews, asking whether human males ought to be given such a gene. The responses had largely to do with whether the ladies asked were single, or whether the guy’s partner was listening.

Whether homosexuality is genetic or not: they’re here, they’re influential, and they want to get married. They assure us it’s a great idea, and no problem for the kids involved.

A simple analogy can help. Have you watched young men drive? Many always go faster than the flow of traffic, and swerve around cars (and worse, big trucks), rather than use the brake.

Gay fatherhood (via adoption, or from previous marriage) has been described as "having two gas pedals" in the household, with no brake. There haven’t been many children raised thusly, so there aren’t any reliable studies yet. We can hope those kids will find additional role models, and prove resilient.

In San Francisco, earlier this year, lesbians got married in far greater numbers than gay males. Unfortunately, lesbian couples are unable to show growing boys how to act, and interact, as a man should. It’s not that they don’t try! Most lesbians place themselves in ‘butch’ or ‘fem’ roles, often with a distinctive appearance. (Thus demonstrating that humans cannot fully deny the Ideal.)

Activists will respond by slamming traditional marriage, and its many faults (such as abuse, and the high divorce rate) make it an easy target. It’s a taboo subject, but abuse rates in homosexual relationships are the same, if not worse. In any case, the world remains fallen, and from here on, marriages will only get better.

This is not to say that most gays aren’t wonderful, selfless individuals. Dr. Laura has encouraged gay (and single parent) adoptions—for older, otherwise unwanted, children. Far better, she says, to have this love and stability, than to get bounced around foster homes until they’re eighteen.


Every Pastor’s great calling is to support marriage and families, and most devote their whole mind and heart to this. They’ve had plenty of heartbreak, in failing to save (or even to begin) millions of marriages. Liberal Pastors, while sincerely concerned, have evinced great confusion on the issue.

The Principle’s Four Position Foundation is in the shape of a diamond. As an illustration, if you regard people as carbon atoms, then sacred marriage places them in beautiful, diamond-strong, relationships. Less Principled relationships would resemble brittle graphite, or easily-scattered soot.

The Bible calls believers the Salt of the Earth. Alone, man (sodium) is hard and flammable; that is, prone to anger and ruin. Alone, woman (chlorine) is green and gaseous; that is, prone to envy and dissipation. Bonded together, they form incorruptible salt.

This applies directly to politics. Both conservatives (Rush Limbaugh) and liberals (Mother Jones magazine) note that 2004’s most important ‘swing voters’ are women, and they agree on why. Married women are quite conservative, while singles [lacking a man in the house] look to a paternal government, and for handsome liberal politicians who promise lots of support.

The political parties have made their strategies accordingly.


Biologically, emotionally, spiritually, in abilities and style, and in numerous other ways, men and women compliment each other perfectly. Marriage is an amazing thing.

Men and women, not to mention kids, don’t come with instruction manuals. In most places, adults can quickly marry one another, and start a family, whether they’re ready or not.

Better to get some advice first! Christian wisdom can be gained from the Andelin’s books, plus secular guidelines from John Gray. Excellent Unificationist programs have now been created by John Williams and Dr. Josie Hauer.

No matter who votes for what, the Ideal stands. Let’s do all we can to spread the word.

by Paul Carlson

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