Dear Brothers and Sisters,

I am writing this letter after reading the many posts, over the past few weeks, about True Family - in particular about Nan Sook Nim and Hyo Jin Nim.

These are personal reflections that have come out of my discussions with friends based on the postings over the net, but in particular they result from discussions with my husband.

My husband and I have been through our share (possibly more) of ups and downs. For years we struggled with each other, but through all of those struggles it is clear that we were brought together by True Parents, and that there is no mistake in the choice made for each of us by True Parents.

We chose to accept this matching and we could have chosen to end it at any time, but we didn't. For a vast range of reasons we stayed together. Sometimes one of us wanted to work at it and the other didn't, sometimes we both wanted to work at it, sometimes we both didn't but God spoke to our hearts and kept us going. Many times I was able to keep going because of the unconditional love that I felt coming from True Father.

I can honestly say that I am truly grateful to True Parents for my match and for my life.

Now some of you, out there, may have been pretty good people when you met the family. You may have been destined to lives of goodness or greatness without the Divine Principle. But I cannot say that for myself.

When I met the family I wasn't a "bad" person, I tried to do good. I didn't want to hurt people (though I did, and I still do sometimes). But I can honestly say that with my understanding of good and evil (or lack thereof) I was headed in a very dangerous direction.

Out of respect for my husband I choose not to go into the details of my life before the family, but I know where my thinking was going to lead me, and I can honestly say that if I had followed that course then I would be very unhappy today, if not dead.

I may have changed directions without the Divine Principle, but I seriously doubt it. The Divine Principle was the only thing that reached into my heart AND my mind and helped me to change my view of life. I was 26 years of age and pretty set in my atheistic ways.

My life in the family has been a real challenge in many ways, and if I had been more serious to perfect my character it would have been even more of a challenge. In fact it was not until I went to Chung Pyung that I really began to understand God's hope for us as Blessed members.

This brings me to my point.

What do YOU want? Why did YOU join the family? What are YOUR goals? What kind of person do YOU want to be? What kind of life do YOU want to live?

Who is stopping you? Are True Parents stopping you? Is Hyo Jin Nim stopping you?

I honestly feel that it is important to reassess one's faith periodically, it is healthy to do so. For myself when I look at my life in the family I think of the ways that I grew, I see the challenges helped me to realize many things.

I only did what I did out of my own free will. I never permitted pressure to lead me to do anything against my conscience. Of course my leaders often pushed me to go beyond my limits, but I still chose to unite or not. You see, I choose to follow or not. If I had disagreed I would simply have left.

I know some may be poohooing here, but it is true. If I thought Father was off I would be off, off to some far away place to live life in another way. It is not that the Principle is wrong, rather that we don't live it.

I fundraised and gave all that I made. Through fundraising I experienced God's heart and love, I learned about myself and about people in general. I don't begrudge anything that I did.

I have no problem with someone sharing their personal experience as such, a personal experience. It is important to remember that many people have a positive experience of life in the family.

Maybe it is time for some people to move on to another stage in their life, for those I suggest they take responsibility and move on. For those who feel a need to attack the family and their past life I would suggest that they haven't really learned much from the Principle.

I really do wonder why people who get negative have to "hang around" expressing their negativity - sounds rather like the fourth fallen nature to me?

To me it boils down to whether or not Father is the Messiah. I believe he is so I'm standing by him. If I believed he wasn't I would just pack up and get on with my life. I would take all the lessons I learned in the family and use them to continue with my vision for a better world. Part of building a better world is to love others, and also to forgive. Revenge can never play a role in the creation of a better world, it just creates a never ending cycle.

Just some points for reflection and/or discussion.

ITPL Rachel

"The sum total of human love is surpassed only by God's love. Let's love one another and re-create this world."

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