Abel:

1) Receive punishment without committing sin
2) No complaining
3) Love your enemy
4) Give everything to Cain

1) See from God's viewpoint
2) Keep proper position
3) Be object to Abel
4) Multiply goodness

The above list is a copy of the notes on the very first page of my notebook. They explain the "Responsibilities and Challenges of Cain and Abel."

So who exactly are Cain and Abel, other than the Biblical figures that we know them as? Well, they basically stand for each and every one of us. Abel represents the person that is in the subject position to Cain, and Cain is the figure to receive Abel's guidance and love. According to True Father, "the challenges of Cain and Abel will appear in every relationship in life . . . Yeah right!", I thought, and how stubbornly I tried to prove his statement wrong. But the more I thought about it, the more I thoroughly came to realize that he was altogether right. Reflecting on my relationships with almost all the people I knew, I recall myself being stuck various times in the exact same struggles as the ones mentioned above. It was amazing how the list of responsibilities exactly pinpointed every conflict I had to deal with in my interactions with numerous people. I never knew how mechanically they seemed to exist in everyone's life.

There is one experience I have had during STF which I would like to share briefly in order to convey the meaning of a "Cain and Abel" relationship to those who might not already know about it. My ultimate hope is to portray how "Cain and Abel" conflicts come about in daily life, and through pointing out it's "hidden nature" in my own experiences, I hope others will be able to find whatever struggles they have with Cain or Abel figures a bit easier to understand and handle.

In STF everyone has a central figure, and you can ask any CARP member about their experiences with their central figures and they will undoubtedly say that at one point they probably had wished to abuse (physically and verbally) at least ONE of their past central figures. I guess now I can almost say the same thing. About a month ago, I was assigned to a new group as team assistant to our team captain. We were both new at the job and I knew that it would not be an easy task to bring our entire group together on one common goal, but that was the mission and I was determined to do it. However, in just about 2 days, I was ready to give my team captain the most unforgettable time of his life. Instead of understanding his position as being a captain for the very first time, I only saw him for the little mistakes he had done and began to blame him for this and that in my mind. He is not exactly fluent in speaking English either, and I even began to get annoyed at him for that, responding with a "What?" to everything he said to me, Especially when he pushed us to fundraise, do dishes, stop sleeping, or any other type of bothersome work, I challenged his request and tried to find a good reason to refuse it.

After a point, I thought I could even be a better captain than he was (I mean since I could drive a van and all). I constantly challenged his ability to lead, and I must also admit that I talked behind his back (only once) to some of the other team members who were struggling with him as well. Basically, I turned my back on him and could not help trying to deny everything he said.

Now if you took at the four responsibilities of Cain and compare them to my mistakes, you can easily see that I failed just about everyone of them. Soon after though, I began to reflect on my attitude and when I looked over my list of "Cain and Abel" notes, everything suddenly became so clear to me and I felt dumb to so blindly fall into the temptations of Cain that were plainly written in my very own handwriting. From that point on I began to focus on overcoming the "Cain and Abel" conflicts with my team leader, and to make a long story short and on a happy note, we are definitely making better progress now than when we first began. I'm sure in his position as Abel he felt that he was receiving utterly undeserved treatment and must have struggled tremendously to not complain or give up. He persisted as well in his responsibilities as "Abel" and continued to care for us in his best efforts.

Reflecting back on the whole episode, I can remember so clearly when I was also in Abel's position various times, particularly in my relationships with younger Blessed Children. If I knew about "Cain and Abel" before, I am certain that living life would have been easier, but I am glad enough to know it through experience now. Now I know to be aware to handle any future "Cain and Abel" conflicts using logic, not just emotion. Everyone will go through "Cain and Abel" relationships and inevitably trudge through the challenges of an "incompetent Abel" or a "merciless Cain", but through understanding the situation first, problems become much clearer and easier to solve.

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