Hello, my name is Hyun Myung Chin.

I assume that almost everyone has heard of the Special Task Force by now. I was in the program, trudging through the minutes as they passed into hours, S days, weeks, months, and finally 2 years. Indeed STF flew by quickly, 2 years of which I can probably only recall a total of 1 hours worth of specific memories (I have quite short-term memory of random information), but every moment passed a by as slow as the sun. You know those experiences where everything goes by in nanoseconds, but when it's over it feels like just a passing moment? Those are `' probably the times you could identify as some of the "best times of my life ". Actually my point is that although I might accidentally recite the words "STF was the best time of my life... " and you'll think to yourself "that's what he says about everything ", I can assure you that I am notloking about this one. No, STF wasn't anywhere near entertaining, but it was unquestionably priceless.

Now I am sorry if I offend anyone through this letter for whatever reason, I do not mean to step on anyone's toes. I know there are people out there who do not see much significance in STF and there are those who repute it as a life and death issue. What stance do I take? Well from my own personal experience I will have to agree that it was a life pending issue. I don't want to get into many personal stories, but I'll just give the brief account of how I joined STF. Upon finishing my senior year I was deciding very casually what to do next in my life. I was planning to go to a university (besides Bridgeport) and knew my faith was rather weak. There were some obvious changes I would enjoy, such as unchallenged freedom, but I also had a daunting fear of myself because 1 knew I was capable of making serious, irreconcilable mistakes. So I had this inescapable contradiction between one part of me that loved my family and didn't want to hurt anyone, and another part that wanted to "experience life ". After much disgruntled complaint I gave in to my conscience and chose to go to STF because I knew from my past that 1 was beyond just weak in faith; I was completely unreliable to my own self-values. For the rest of eternity I will never regret having made this s decision.

It isn't possible to sum up the STF experience in writing. It is different than Little Angels School, RYS projects, Camp Sunrise, or PLA. It goes beyond all those because it is about challenge beyond limits, without anywhere to run or to hide. There were some mornings when I woke up thinking to myself that I just could not live on another day. I had nothing: no material security, no ego, no pride, no friends, no wallet, no pets, no comfort, no self-image, and no excuses. It was just Hyun Myung Chin facing the task at hand, and all I could do was to see where God would lead me. Have you ever stood alone by the ocean before an incoming storm? It is the most intimidating ordeal; you begin to feel totally overwhelmed and powerless before nature. Some mornings were just like that. What could I do in those helpless situations except surrender myself to God and s trust his love? Are those kinds of experiences important in life? Absolutely, along with many other soul-searching challenges. When I look back at it now, all those difficulties, complaints, tears, sweat, (no blood), were just miracles in my life. Not because they have become fond memories or inspirational moments, but because < they blessed me with the most fundamental tools for life. This does not mean that I victoriously overcame everything and achieved a spiritual standard from which 1 only continue growing exponentially. Not at all. ManY of mY toughest struggles are happening in my post-STF life, but the point is that now I am equipped with a clear purpose and the truth to help me manifest that goal. Some people find the idea of working for the church to be absurd, but it isn't just about the church, it's about you. That's the essential part that many people miss. I knew I couldn't waste time resenting the fact that I was making money for someone else, or that I was belittling my pride doing something 1 thought I didn't need to do. The essence was that I was discovering an original God-given part of myself (which implies that I was not my true self). Does that sound abstract? Maybe it does, but you'll never < know what its like until you've tried it.

"Don't disregard that which you don't yet understand, for your understanding may disregard your life."

That's a reflective quote I made up to keep my ignorance in check. It took s me 2 long years to get started, but now I'm finally just beginning to live my life. I thought I was living my life during high school, but actually there is almost nothing valuable about it that I can remember (no, it's not because of my short < term memory). Imagine what it is like to live life on a deeper dimension, because < you can, and those levels only get deeper and deeper. For now all we can do is conceptualize, because only until we're actually there will we begin to understand. There are capabilities in myself that I am discovering which I never knew existed, and it would be a disastrous waste for me to just let them go to waste. I cannot thank STF enough for directing me and giving me the sense to begin traveling my own path. If you plan on attending STF though, don't go expecting instantaneous miracles. It might sound nice, but its truly a battlefield. Much of what you gain will depend on your willingness and commitment. As much as we hate to admit it, things don't just end up all nice and neat as we hope for. It takes continuous investment of whatever you got.

If you think you're strong, then why don't you go ahead and see how much < pressure you can take. If you think you're holy, then wait until you live with your team captain and see what 4 letter words come out of your mouth. If you think you're weak, then why don't you just go and trust God. Whoever we may be, we all have the need for God. I would be forever lost if I ever made the mistake of giving an excuse for not even trying to love Him.

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