Scripture Readings: Father's Words (see below); Mat 5:23; John 13:35

The title of the sermon can be stated in several ways, each of which changes the meaning slightly. 1) loving one another, really (rolling eyes, strumming fingers, like Oh really, yea right) 2nd and 3rd meaning are connected 2) loving one another, really (LETS GET REAL! i.e. the good, the bad and the ugly, warts and all) 3) really loving one another ie practical, sacrificial true love for one another, authentic, REAL relationships

"To resemble God, the original Being of true love, we should become the owners of true love. We should embody true love and practice it in order to develop our character. This is the way each of us can become true parents.
What is a life of true love? True love is the spirit of public service. It brings the peace that is at the root of happiness"
"God's Ideal Family and Peace Kingdom"
Reverend Sun Myung Moon
April-May, 2006

"We must change what has been centered on me in the Unification Church until now to something that is centered on all of you, so that the effort can be focused on linking up the congregation of love horizontally. It won't do if we are trying to do so only vertically."
Way of the Spiritual Leader, Part 2
Sun Myung Moon
pg. 200

It is said that no one likes change, except a wet baby.

Yet, we live in an age of fast-paced change. We've recently entered another new age: the age of settlement, the age of heaven on earth, the age of Hoon Dok Family Church, small groups. I believe that these small groups are the way, the process by which we accomplish Cheon Il Guk i.e. the way in which we "become one" where we can experience what that means on all levels. (Individual mind and body; within family -- husband and wife, parents and children; brothers and sisters in community)

This age of settlement is the time to practice really loving each other, to experience joy, to make God manifest in all we do. It is an amazing time to be alive.

So, although HDFC is a mandate, I don't believe it is just another activity, another program, another providential request. I believe it is the way of settlement, of making substantial God's kingdom of peace and love on this earth. However, we need to build it from the bottom up. It needs to be a grassroots movement/ development beginning from the inspiration and desire in our hearts.

Where do we begin?

Underneath all the mission statements and activities of a church, there are two basic realities that Churches are meant to foster: an experience of love and an experience of faith, with love as the top priority.

"This is how all will know you as my disciples: by your love for one another."
John 13:35

Every single one of us needs to know above and beyond anything and everything else, that we are loved by the people of the church. Love has to be specific. We each have to be known as a person, as ourselves. A sense of care about and responsibility for each other needs to pervade the "church".

Yet, the very structure of "church" as it is now is not equipped for us to really care for each other; nor is it a structure that helps us get to know one another.

We need to BECOME Church rather than merely going to Church! (Ownership)

I'm not saying "let's get rid of church" I think it's great to have a place to worship and celebrate together. That there is a time and place for inspiring sermons (and I hope this serves as one). The question is, how do we take the message home, how does our coming together affect our daily lives from Monday through Saturday?

My premise this morning is that we become church through participating in small groups. They provide a way of sharing faith in order to grow more aware of God's presence and action in our lives, which is essential in living out our identity. Being an Unificationist has to make a difference experientially not just theoretically. Through small groups each one realizes that they can and do make an appreciable difference. Each one realizes they have a human and spiritual contribution to give -- instead of just receiving truth or inspiration from the programs offered.

A couple of week's ago in his sermon, I was moved by David Byrne's compassionate view of our congregation as "tired". While this is true for some (even many?) of us, another way of expressing this is that many of us are WOUNDED. We've all been through A LOT - and not just 1st gen, but our 2nd gen as well. Now is the time to take care of each other, heal the wounds, the hurt, those "left behind" But HOW do we take care of one another? How and where do we process what we have been through - are still going through? How and where do we practice the confession of our woundedness, our brokenness, have the opportunity for real self-disclosure, to be vulnerable, to practice forgiveness, to embody humility?

David also talked about "getting real" I really appreciated that -- I'm a roll up my sleeves and "get real" kind of person, and I want to grapple with who we are, where we are at, where we want to go and how we will get there.

So, Unification Movement - how "united" are we? How connected do we feel? Let's look at our congregation here -- it is quite unique. We're composed of many different peoples and have groups even within groups.

We are a diversified community. We have students - who mostly sit to one side of the Chapel, although those with families tend to congregate near the back; We have many cultures and races -- Koreans, Japanese, Africans, Philippinos, Europeans, Eastern Europeans, people who work at or are connected to UTS; 2nd Gen -- young uns, teens and college age -- to mention but a few. How do we go beyond our cultural, racial, gender and age differences? How do we build bridges, How do we come to a place of mutual respect despite our differences?

I'd like to share a story with you from M. Scott Peck's book, "The Different Drum: Community Making and Peace" It is called "The Rabbi's Gift"

The story is about a monastery that had fallen upon hard times. Once a great order, but due to waves of anti-monastic persecution in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries and the rise of secularism in the nineteenth, all its branch houses were lost and it had become decimated to the extent that there were only five monks left in the decaying mother house: the abbot and four others, all over seventy years in age. Clearly it was a dying order.

In the woods surrounding the monastery there was a little hut that a rabbi from a nearby town occasionally used for a hermitage.

Through their many years of prayer and contemplation the old monks had become a bit psychic, so they could always sense when the rabbi was in his hermitage. "The rabbi is in the woods, the rabbi is in the woods again" they would whisper to each other. As he agonized over the imminent death of his order, it occurred to the abbot at one such time to visit the hermitage and ask the rabbi if by some possible chance he could offer any advice that might save the monastery.

The rabbi welcomed the abbot at his hut. But when the abbot explained the purpose of his visit, the rabbi could only commiserate with him. "I know how it is," he exclaimed. "The spirit has gone out of the people. It is the same in my town. Almost no one comes to the synagogue anymore." So the old abbot and the old rabbi wept together.

Then they read parts of the Torah and quietly spoke of deep things.

The time came when the abbot had to leave. They embraced each other. "It has been a wonderful thing that we should meet after all these years, "the abbot said, "but I have still failed in my purpose for coming here. Is there nothing you can tell me, no piece of advice you can give me that would help me save my dying order?"

"No, I am sorry," the rabbi responded. "I have no advice to give. The only thing I can tell you is this: that the Messiah is one of you."

When the abbot returned to the monastery his fellow monks gathered around him to ask, "Well what did the rabbi say?" "He couldn't help," the abbot answered. "We just wept and read the Torah together. The only thing he did say, just as I was leaving --it was something cryptic-- was that the Messiah is one of us. I don't know what he meant."

In the days and weeks and months that followed, the old monks pondered this and wondered whether there was any possible significance to the rabbi's words. The Messiah is one of us? Could he possibly have meant one of us monks here at the monastery? If that's the case, which one?

Do you suppose he meant the abbot? Yes, if he meant anyone, he probably meant Father Abbot. He has been our leader for more than a generation.

On the other hand, he might have meant Brother Thomas. Certainly Brother Thomas is a holy man. Everyone knows that Thomas is a man of light

Certainly he could not have meant Brother Elred! Elred gets crotchety at times. But come to think of it, even though he is a thorn in people's sides, when you look back on it, Elred is virtually always right. Often very right. Maybe the rabbi did mean Brother Elred.

But surely not Brother Phillip. Phillip is so passive, a real nobody. But then, almost mysteriously, he has a gift for somehow always being there when you need him. He just magically appears by your side. Maybe Phillip is the Messiah.

Of course the rabbi didn't mean me. He couldn't possibly have meant me. I'm just an ordinary person. Yet supposing he did? Suppose I am the Messiah? O God, not me. I couldn't be that much for You, could I?

As they contemplated in this manner, the old monks began to treat each other with extraordinary respect on the off chance that one among them might be the Messiah. And on the off chance that each monk himself might be the Messiah, they began to treat themselves with extraordinary respect.

Because the forest in which it was situated was beautiful, it so happened that people still occasionally came to visit the monastery to picnic on its lawn, to wander along some of its paths, even now and then to go into the dilapidated chapel to meditate.

As they did so, without even being conscious of it, they sensed the aura of extraordinary respect that now began to surround the five old monks and seemed to radiate out from them and permeate the atmosphere of the place. There was something strangely attractive, even compelling, about it. Hardly knowing why, they began to come back to the monastery more frequently to picnic, to play, to pray. They began to bring their friends to show them this special place. And their friends brought their friends.

Then it happened that some of the younger men who came to visit the monastery started to talk more and more with the old monks. After a while one asked if he could join them. Then another. And another. So within a few years the monastery had once again become a thriving order and, thanks to the rabbi's gift, a vibrant center of light and spirituality in the realm.

[The end of the story.]

Isn't that what we want -- to light up each other's lives and those of the community around us. Don't we want people to be attracted to us because of the "something special" they experience here - the atmosphere of true love and care. We need to substantially value and care for each other. The more attractive we are to ourselves, the more attractive we will be to others. The quality of our caring is what will attract others. If we do that well enough, we will grow. Remember, the oft quoted truism, people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.

Last week Rev. Akpan talked about commitment -- and I'm moved by each and every one of us that is still here -- we have been demonstrating/practicing our commitment by showing up week after week, month after month, year after year.

But, why do we keep coming to Sunday service? Really -- why do you come? Take a few seconds to reflect upon why you came today. I heard one leader in the movement speak at UTS this past Wed. and he shared he attends Sunday service most of the time out of duty. I can imagine some are here out of duty today -- anyone here out of duty today? (You can raise your hand if you want).

What are some other reasons you have for coming?

(Ask people)

Let me ask another question -- how's "Church" working for you? How much love have you experienced so far this morning? How about when you were getting ready for church or even on the way to church. Maybe you sang love song's to each other, everyone did their chores, had clean pressed clothes ready to wear and timed their use of the bathroom so everyone had plenty of time so all left to be here early to pray in preparation for the service? Or, maybe you had cross words on the way?

Maybe we have some Sunday smiles hiding sullen hearts.

In "The Devotional Heart" John Morgan condensed why we come to church to two reasons: "to discover a place to belong (INTIMACY) and to find a place that can provide meaning (ULTIMACY)"

Aren't we all seeking a place of belonging, a sense of affirmation, to experience our faith in shared relationships with brothers and sisters, elders, youngers -- our extended family, our spiritual family. Most of all, aren't we all here to give and receive love? TO EXPERIENCE THAT CENTRAL ESSENCE OF OUR FAITH IN ACTION.

In a word, community.

Can we really have that level of sharing, intimacy, "knowing" of each other just in Sunday service? Realistically? No. We need an appropriate setting for such a level of heart to heart sharing where we can be honest, vulnerable, authentic, …

Place of such real relationships -- small groups where we can strengthen in each other our best qualities, share our joys and victories as well as our trials and tribulations, face the tough stuff -- but not alone.

We were fortunate to host the Chick to Chick conference here last month. Many of us were moved by the warmth and authenticity of the participants. One of the most successful small group experiences in the U.S. is Alcoholics Anonymous. Basic principles of AA -- honest confession and vulnerability, faith in a higher power, and accountability to the group. They accept and deal with their brokenness in a circle of support and encouragement. No one is trying to be better than anyone else -- they are just trying to deal with their own stuff, and recognize that they cannot do that in isolation.

The support of a group is essential.

Sure we have moments of "togetherness" glimpses of oneness; but how do we take those moments and glimpses and make them into our way of life, our way of being with each other. I propose that we do this through one on one real relationships in small groups where we can share our stories, really come to understand who each other is by listening to each other in a place of trust, confidentiality, and acceptance. Where we can appreciate each other for all we've been through and are still going through.

Let's look at a few definitions so we're clear about what we're talking about. What is a small group? What do I mean by community?

A small group is:

"A functional spiritual unit that can nurture spiritual life and expand according to the law of love."
Family, Church, Community, Kingdom
Dr. Tyler Hendricks
pg 126

Also

"An intentional gathering of a varied number of people who commit themselves to regular meetings for the purpose of becoming better disciples. Ie they are intentional, relational and regular. Goal to make disciples for Christ."
Jeffrey Arnold
Starting Small Groups

A community is:

Community is a way of relating to other persons as brothers and sisters who share a common origin, a common dignity, and a common destiny. Community involves learning to live in terms of an interconnected "we" more than an isolated "I'. It involves making choices which reinforce the experience of relatedness and foster the sense of belonging and interdependence. Community begins, but does not end, in face to face relationships
Making Life Choices
Margaret Betz

Jethro principle: SPAN OF CARE or Manageable ministry (Exodus 18:17 - 22)

Until Jethro's (Moses father -- in -- law) visit, Moses believed, like many of us do, "if you want something doing right, you'd better do it yourself. Jethro observed Moses during a visit as he sat on a rock all day in order to listen to and advise his people. They lined up from early morning until late night. Jethro told it as it was, "what you are doing is not good. You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot do it alone (Exodus 18: 17 -- 19) Jethro encouraged Moses to break the Israelite nation into thousands, then hundreds, fifties and tens with Godly leaders judging each portion. In that way nobody would oversee more than ten people, from the smallest leader to the greatest.

System ensured quality of care, communication and efficiency.

Span of care principle helps explain how small groups help a church meet everyone's individual needs.
Jeffrey Arnold
Starting Small Groups

1. Authentic relationships

I want to mention characteristics of authentic relationships so you'll have a taste of what to look forward to

Characteristics of AUTHENTIC Relationships: "The Different Drum: Community Making and Peace" M. Scott Peck

Self-disclosure - in a safe place, where people can take off their masks, be vulnerable and intimate, atmosphere of trust

Care-giving -- active listening, thoughtful remembering

Humility -- serving others, being served

Truth-telling -- honest, with the freedom to express individuality, face facts, be real, accept correction

Affirmation -- celebrate and be celebrated, recognize own and others gifts and uniqueness

2. Provide well balanced shepherding -- care and discipleship

3. Where TRUTH OF GOD meets our lives -- are we transforming?

4. Experience HEALTHY CONFLICT -- fight gracefully

STRENGTH -- for life's storms

WISDOM - for important decisions

ACCOUNTABILITY -- needed for spiritual growth

ACCEPTANCE -- to repair our woundedness

Authentic community is spirit-filled -- a sense of peace and warmth comes over those who participate

How will we establish small groups in our community?

Important to start from where we are at the moment, set realistic goals and make a step by step plan acknowledge that it will take time recognize we're in time of transition

BEGIN WITH ONE, BEGIN WITH ME

I would ask each one to look into their own hearts to see if God inspires you to join in the beginning of this transformative process here in our "community"

I feel called to be the local pastor and to help guide us to become a church of small groups (though we'll begin by being a church with small groups.) I want to start a group with others who are inspired by this vision, because from all I've studied, the only way to "get" what small groups are about is to be in one!

We would be a "trial" group, going through the process with the intention that several people from the group will eventually go on to make their own groups (maybe a 9 month to one year process) Becoming a church, a community OF small groups, is not a quick fix. Transition takes time, is hard work and can be messy and painful. We are birthing something new. It will be an ongoing process that will help ensure the continued growth of our community -- both our own spiritual growth and growth in our numbers. People will be attracted to us and want to join with us.

First step to really see and appreciate each other and treat each other with respect -- like the brothers in the monastery.

"The Unification Movement is only as loving as myself.
The Unification Movement is only as compassionate as me.
The Unification Movement is only as peaceful as me."
A Bald Head and a Strawberry
Hyung Jin Moon
Page 37

If you would like a copy of the short PowerPoint that accompanied this sermon, please write to Gillian.