For the first few days of the workshop at Chung Pyung, I found myself thinking, "Why do we have to have three clapping sessions a day? I'm sure two would be enough!" Even though I'd spent 40 days here in 1997, it took some time to appreciate again the incredible value of being here.

Soon after, I had an experience during the Holy Song session that totally changed my attitude. It was simple, but very profound. Next to me, a Japanese mother was doing Holy Song with her baby girl. I glanced over and noticed the little girl (who was about 3 years old) was covered in a red rash all over her body. Our eyes met for a moment, as her mom was giving her ansu. Her eyes were frightened and seemed to say "Why is this happening to me?!" In that instant, I understood why I was there. It was not for me, but to save my children, my family, my ancestors, my descendents. I realized that I was responsible for all of them, and that I had to be desperate to liberate the spirits in me.

Since then, I have been truly grateful for each session. God told me that 50 days could restore my 50 years of life and make the foundation for the next 50!

Once, when the session was over, as my eyes were closed, God revealed a beautiful blue sky in my mind. It was extremely bright and clear, and I perceived it to be what my spirit should look like when it was free of spirits, sin and fallen nature. I cried at God's love for me. The next time, the blue field was much smaller, and there were black figures blocking out the light. I had the feeling that I was in a deep hole in Hell, and that evil spirits were standing above, keeping me down there. I realized I would have to fight, desperately, to free myself, one step, one session, at a time, until I could climb out into the light of God and be free.

So that is my internal goal: to completely climb out and take absolute responsibility for my life, my family and my lineage.

I thank God, True Parents, Heung Jin Nim and Dae Mo Nim for this incredible grace. Amen!

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