God as Parent

Joshua Cotter
April 2011

One beautiful fall day, during a workshop I was leading on the East Coast several years after I joined the church, I found myself tearfully praying to God. I vividly remember the red and gold leaves on the ground, and the chill in the air marking the change of season as I prayed about the meaning of repentance. I was searching to understand how I had hurt God in my life. The concept of repentance, of asking for forgiveness for my sins was easy to digest, but I sensed a deeper level that I couldn't internally connect with. As I prayed--weeping, desperate to understand--I felt God's arms wrap around me. How did I know it was God? How could I not know it was God? I felt myself enveloped in a powerful loving embrace as He took me through my life from His perspective. God showed me the dark times when I had felt completely alone, and He tenderly conveyed to me that I had never been alone. He was always there, as He was at that very moment, holding me in His embrace, carrying me through my loneliest pain.

I felt for the first time in my life a deep understanding: I am God's son. No matter what I do, no matter how far I run or how unaware I am of his love for me, we will always belong to each other; that He and I, through the assured commitment of His unconditional love, are parent and child. I finally could understand that what I had to repent for was for all the times I didn't let God love me or hold me. I had hurt Him the most in this way. God's heart asks that we don't create a distance between ourselves and Him because He will never stop loving us. Because of the sincerity in which I prayed to understand Him, I was able to access my own divinity and my senses were open to His presence. In actuality, God did not come down to meet me, I rose up to meet Him.

Unconditional love is about loving even when you are being pushed away by the one you love. True Parents walk this course, loving all of God's children even through rejection and betrayal. God's heart is to follow behind His children, wanting to catch them if they fall, and hold them when they hurt. God wants to be there with you no matter where you are, and He will bury Himself inside your heart waiting for a chance to show you His love. As a parent, I have come to the realization that more important than my concepts, opinions or desires concerning my children, is the heart l have for my children, and not losing the connection that I've created with them. This powerful love goes beyond the noble righteousness of unconditional love. It is like the words of the Bob Dylan song: "I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue, I'll go crawling down the avenue, there's nothing that I wouldn't do to make you feel my love."

Rev. Joshua Cotter

Executive Vice-President
HSA-UWC USA