God's Pain

Tossa Cromwell
October 24, 2009

Sometimes I get overwhelmed when I feel the pain in God's heart.

Sometimes I feel this when I'm singing holy songs. Other times, it's when I'm reading the Divine Principle or Father's Words.

Sometimes I get overwhelmed when I feel the pain in Father's heart.

It's a constricting of my throat, a dryness in my mouth, wanting to shed tears from deep in my chest.

It's sympathizing with God's Heart throughout history -- his inability to be with his children, his inability to express his love to them, his inability to teach them how to be like him without making them go through indemnity.

Ironically, it's in moments when I am happiest, when something really good happens to me, that I remember the deep pain in God's Heart, not intellectually, but it just comes to me. I don't know when or how I learned it; I just know that it's not my pain.

My pain is nasty -- I hate feeling it and I want to get away from it. I don't like my pain.

When I feel God's pain or Father's pain, it's a highly exhilarating feeling. It's a feeling of being alive, of being connected to my father's heart.

I had prayed when I was young to feel God's heart of pain. I am so grateful that I prayed that and I am so grateful to God for giving me that experience.