I feel that this first FR condition has really been a strengthening experience. Over the 5 weeks spent in Flevoland, I really felt I could grow through the FR and the time spent in the team. I could make some progress on my long term goals. In fact it was my longer term goals which were the main driving force which helped me to appreciate FR, and also control my annoyances, frustration and slight anger towards other people on team Netherlands.

Everything is definitely relative, so when I could break 100 euro after a weekly average of 60, it meant a lot. I could defiantly connect this external improvement to a sea of change within myself.

At the start I was more in the shoes of a beggar, trying to get people to pity me in the rain with a broken umbrella, wet product and expression on my face of "please pity me", but I soon realized that talking and acting in that way is neither productive for yourself or others. People want to support someone strong. So I really set about achieving pride and acceptance in what I was doing, and really trying "strength and honor". In this way could believe that what I was doing had real value for the future.

It felt so good to be completely honest with people and for them to support you as a person, and know that you were representing something so much greater than just yourself. It was definitely a tough time, I missed my family, but I did feel some pride in what I was doing. I am constantly challenged by FR but I feel I could have made some progress and make a conclusion for the future of this year, and beyond. In the team there is so much opportunity for restoration.

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