The Words of the Hernandez Family

The “Walking My Path” Young Adult Retreat

Hero Hernandez
August 12, 2009

At the beginning of the summer, youth educators from CARP and Young Adult Ministries from around the country joined forces with the goal to create a new summer experience for the young-adult blessed child. Under the advisement of Heather Thalheimer, director of the nation’s new Education Department, a planning team established that they wanted a retreat that offered each attendant the opportunity to connect to God personally and through his or her brothers and sisters in a new way.

With the location and dates set (Camp Sunrise, New York, July 30 - August 3) and the vision established, the word went out. Thirty young adults from eleven different states responded to the call.

The goal was to inspire participants to reflect on how past events and relationships created who they are today, to determine what they can do now to change or affirm this fact, and to take ownership over their lives and design a plan to get them where they want to go.

In order to achieve this, the staff knew they would have to go through the difficult process of “peeling the onion” -- through dissolving one’s layers of “skin” (pride, inadequacy, pain, regret, etc.) and unearthing one’s true self, one can connect to God and others on the most intimate level.

The challenge was twofold -- to create an environment where participants felt safe, trusting, and infused with a positive spirit, and to find the right way to encourage participants to jump into a place that was uncomfortable for them, and maybe even painful. The staff wanted each person there to attain “courageous vulnerability,” the conscious act of letting down one’s guard, making oneself vulnerable and open to God and others, which can help people feel real breakthroughs and leave having had a life-changing experience.

The core retreat staff consisted of Jin Kwon Kim, Masao Okano, Victoria Roomet, and Ester [correct spelling? I usually see this as Esther] Allen (who was also a participant). Every staff member brought a different element of God into the planning process and worked tirelessly from the first second until the last.

Each full day had a sub-theme. Friday was “Where I Was”; Saturday, “Where I Am”; and Sunday, “Where I Want to Be.”

Participants arrived Thursday night and were welcomed by the clean mountain air and a stack of board games that would help them get to know each other. The first night was all about getting more comfortable.

Then came Friday. Each day started with a small group session of Lectio Divina (divine reading), which is an ancient Christian practice of rhythmically interacting with scripture. The reading for each day was a speech by Reverend Moon titled “How to Gain Spiritual Help.”

There was a place that the staff wanted each attendee to reach by Sunday night, and with only three full days to work with, this would require some serious bonding at a very expedited pace. Therefore the entirety of Friday morning was dedicated to “breaking the ice.” The last activity of the morning sessions was titled “Defining Moments,” in which participants had to choose a moment in their spiritual life that they felt most defined who they are today. In tears, Masao shared with the group his testimony of becoming a father, namely how he connected to God’s heart of hope and joy when Adam and Eve were created.

The afternoon sessions consisted of participants narrowing down into a single word what they wanted to achieve during the course of the weekend and then sharing it. As the afternoon progressed, the staff felt like the group wasn’t responding as planned to the activities and were unsure of the progress that was being made. This required a recalibration of the schedule; this happened throughout the weekend, the constant adjusting of the the plans so that the retreat wouldn’t move forward without the participants being in lockstep with it. This took meticulous consideration but was a large part of what made the weekend what it turned out to be.

In the evening, participants listened to Jin Kwon Kim share in tears his defining moment; he understood God’s heart of pain and sorrow for humankind, while at the same time he experienced God’s hope and unconditional love for blessed children, his long-lost lineage. This changed the mood of the retreat and reopened everyone’s hearts. The evening consisted of more sharing. People were paired up and shared their greatest insecurity with one another. The night ended with a prayer partner exercise during which individuals in each pair prayed for the other’s needs.

Saturday’s activities were geared toward reflecting upon the present. Spirits were bright and clear as participants shared best spiritual practices, did a spiritual personality test, and learned how to see their emotions as a call to action to change their environment. During the evening session, individuals shared testimonies about their experiences thus far, starting with Victoria sharing her defining moment, in which she understood that we are all truly sons and daughters of God and True Parents. This led to deeper bonding as the group relived each other’s experiences and connected to each other’s hearts. The night ended with a midnight prayer on the candlelit beach where three prayer stations were set up, representing the past, present, and future.

Sunday consisted of attending Sunday Service at Lovin’ Live Ministries. Pastor In Jin Moon’s sermon was directly related to topics we had been discussing throughout the weekend and directly connected to the hearts of our participants. After the service, the retreat members were treated to lunch and then given the opportunity to introduce themselves to Reverend Moon. The original schedule was for us to then go to a park, where we would spend the afternoon. However, it was raining. This led to Rev. Moon’s family treating the entire group to bowling and billiards in the city. We were accompanied by Rev. Moon’s husband, and three of their sons. It was an unforgettable experience as participants were able to spend personal time with this beautiful, exemplary family. One participant later shared that he could experience God’s unconditional love playing pool with Rev. Moon’s husband.

The group returned to camp for the final session of the night -- testimonies. It began with the lights out and with each person holding a candle. As each person shared, the candle was lit by the person who had shared previously until the room shone brightly, literally and symbolically, with the breadth of experiences that were shared. What the staff thought would take about half an hour turned out to be a three hour, tear filled sharing, during which participants shared their experiences at the retreat through the context of their life, which really shed light into the importance that this weekend had for everyone. The night ended with three cheers of OK Mansei that echoed like thunder through the mountains.

Monday came to a close with participants writing out a Declaration of Independence from the selves that they were. This was to be signed by loved ones by whom they wanted to be held accountable for this change. Tears were visible, along with happy smiles, as each person knew and understood what had just happened that weekend. They would never forget their experience and everyone who made it possible.

Some reflections from retreat participants:

“God spoke through people so I could see my weaknesses and brutal realities. I felt God’s true love through the care of others.”

“One of the many activities I got the most from was the Lectio Divina. In doing it that way, it really helped me to take in more of the content and implement it to my day and week. I loved hearing everyone's testimonies, being so open and brave telling us their deep experiences and challenges. Thank you so much for sharing.: ) I admire you all so much!”

“Through our Reflection Testimonies I was able to realize that God exists within me as well as within everything and that I have value because God decides to reside in me. I realized that He's not up in the clouds and willing to come down to us when we need Him but He's actually within us all the time and waiting for us to discover Him there.”

“It gave me a chance to get out of my comfort of just sharing about what's on the surface. I got to peel the onion a bit even though onions make me cry. Looking at someone in the eye, and finding what's good about yourself and declaring it and asking someone to pray for you: These are all such challenging things for me. I'm so grateful I had to do it…be vulnerable. I think it was very helpful to really push us where we feel so uncomfortable.”

“[I would recommend this retreat to others because it] cuts through all the dogma and creates a secure and caring environment where people can be honest and realistic about oneself. It showed me the importance of relationships.”

“When I was sharing during reflections about our day in New York City at Lovin' Life Ministries and our lunch with In Jin Nim, I felt God in myself, as well as when I shared during reflection testimonies. I finally questioned God about the position he put me in. Just bawling my eyes out after the testimonials, I confronted God with all the struggles and issues.” 

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