The Words of the Howell Family
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The Words of the Howell Family |
In September of 1978 True Father had returned to London and was in an uproar to find that members were hanging out in headquarters, in various states of despair and defeat, not able to seriously carry out the Home Church directive. He then shook up the whole crusade and reinvigorated the members to go forward with single-mindedness.
To get and keep things on track he appointed Rev. Won Pil Kim in charge of the entire Home Church Crusade throughout England and directly over 3 London teams. As a Seminary graduate I had just been called from my personal home church mission to lead the 26 member "South 1" team of struggling missionaries. It was to be my first leadership experience -- one directly under Rev. Kim.
At my first meeting with him, Rev. Kim tested me by asking that I give him a Divine Principle lecture right then and there! The Principle was the heart of Unificationism and in essence represented the tears, sweat and blood of True Father. To be able to teach it was paramount to spreading the faith so I could understand that Rev. Kim wanted to evaluate my abilities.
However, his request quickly took a uniquely fearful dimension -- to stand before Won Pil Kim was to be in the presence of a spiritual giant who, since he was 17 years old, had walked closely with True Father. How could I, who had almost no lecturing experience, stand before this awesome elder! Anyway, I had no choice but to begin my lecture. Soon I found myself talking about the mind and body unity required to experience God when my own mind and body were tripping over each other desperately searching to coordinate gestures with words.
I felt like such a hypocrite, like a worm on a hook struggling while Rev. Kim sat silently observing me. "If only I could be thrown into the sea and quickly devoured by sharks," was my wish as I tried to bear the excruciating inner discomfort. Here I was newly graduated from the Seminary and not even able to convey the Principle confidently and persuasively -- the very Completed Testament Age truth that I so esteemed. I was sure that when my lecture finished, I was going to be guillotined, sent into exile or at least replaced as team leader. Certainly that is what I deserved.
Although it may have seemed like eternity, it was probably not long after I had started when Rev. Kim said that he had heard enough. I stopped and awaited my sentencing. I expected a severe scolding. But all Won Pil Kim said was, "Please practice." I couldn't believe my ears. He was going to keep me as team leader! What mercy, my impalement had ended and my sentence had been transmuted! Feeling deep gratitude, feeling the grace of amnesty, I simply bowed to Rev. Kim and silently vowed to improve and try my very best.
Thus began a close and intimate relationship of his later being so comfortable as to selflessly scold me, expecting great things from me and me actually finding those things within myself. He was a simple, humble man of great faith who expected and believed that others, if humble and courageous, could also rise up to carry the burden of God's work. I totally united with him and in doing so was able to accomplish a good deal. He was indeed a filial! elder brother who made real the essence of Father's teaching in both word and deed. My gratitude to him still brings me deep inspiration.
I love you Rev. Kim.