The Words of the Kim Family

The first time I met Father was in North Korea in June 1944. My cousin, the son of my father's sister, told me that a great teacher had come from Seoul and suggested we go together and receive grace from him. I was a person who tended to, go to any church if I heard that a famous pastor was visiting and holding a revival. Back in my student days, even if I had to miss exams, I would take advantage of such an opportunity. So I was very interested when I heard that a spiritual teacher had come from Seoul.

The Sabbath came. I was a member of the Jangdae-yeon Church in Pyongyang under Rev. Kim Gwan-sik at that time. I had already turned thirty and was married with two sons and two daughters. Father was twenty-seven years old. He was so spiritual that he wept as he sang hymns. I had been to many revival services, and though I had seen evangelists sweat while giving sermons, I had never seen one sweat while singing hymns. And in all my experiences in going to see many pastors, I had never seen one of them shed both sweat and tears while singing. I thought to myself, "This is a very strange man." I wondered how someone could cry while singing hymns. Then I found myself crying also. As I cried, I heard Father praying; it was the most spiritual prayer ever. That was the first time I'd heard such a prayer. Though I had seen any number of evangelists, I had never heard such a spiritual prayer before.

After praying, Father looked up the hymn "O thou in Whose Presence" and started singing it over and over again, from the first verse to the fifth, and back again to the first, all the while weeping his heart out. I could not help crying with him, feeling utter sympathy for Jesus, who died nailed to the cross, wearing a crown of thorns and having been pierced by a spear. What sin had he committed to deserve such a fate?

Father spoke about Jesus in his sermon, and I broke down and wept. I heard that Jesus would come again as he had come the first time, and since he had first come to Israel, I thought the Second Advent would occur in Israel as well. I was thinking throughout this time that I should go there to receive him, but then Father began speaking about resurrection. I had a pretty good understanding of the Bible, so I knew that Jesus was to come again. I had been waiting for this to happen for a long time. At that moment, Father said that the land the Lord would come to was Korea.

I thought to myself, "I do not need to go to Israel; I can receive the Lord here in Korea." Father asked us, "If the Lord's Second Advent is to take place in Korea, as is indeed obvious, where in Korea would in occur? Where in this small piece of land spanning thirteen degrees of latitude would he come? Would it be Pusan?" In my mind, God toll me that the answer to that question was no. Father asked, "Would he come to Daegu?" And from my mind again carne the answer, "No." When Father asked, "Would he come to Seoul?" From my mind rose the answer, "Yes." I learned from within my heart that the Lord was coming to Seoul.

Tears came to my eyes; I could not stem their flow after learning that the Lord was coming to Korea. I asked, "Is he indeed corning to Korea? Is he coming to Pyongyang?" And God answered, "Yes." I had been certain that the Lord would come a second time, but I had always wondered where he would come to. I did not know. When Father said the Lord was coming to Korea, my gratitude overflowed. The tears continued, and though the room was full of other members, I was the only one who was crying unceasingly. I was embarrassed. The prayer room of the house was separated from the spare room by a paper-covered sliding door. This door suddenly opened and Jesus came in. I felt joy at seeing him. I clung to Jesus and wept and wept. He put his hand on my head and prayed that we all go on to reach our final destination though the path we have to follow through this land is over rugged ground. After praying in the name of the Lord, he vanished. He was nowhere to be found, though I had seen him come in through the sliding door. When I lifted my eyes I saw Father standing there. That's when I realized that he is Jesus; he is the Lord. I was grateful, and I grew ever so much more grateful with the passage of time.

That night after attending the service, which had lasted all day I returned home, went to bed and dreamt. In the dream I was told I had to walk across a large cave. I walked into it and heard a voice telling me, No matter how difficult it is to cross to the other end, don't turn back, keep going." I answered that I would. I walked until I came to the end. There I saw a bier passing by. It was a large one, the kind you would see at funerals in rural areas, and not just a mere hearse. As the funeral procession went past me, water flowing from the rotting corpse flowed over my feet. It was foul. Having that dirty water flowing from the rotting corpse over my feet was disgusting. At that point, I looked up and saw Father. He was waiting on high. He had a brass basin with him, the kind a girl would bring with her when getting married. It was filled with water, and he was waiting. He washed my feet clean with the water from the basin and told me, "Go to the garden in front." And so I did. I saw that the garden was abloom with all variety of flowers. Just gazing at the blossoming flowers was enough to make me happy. Then I perceived Jesus standing a long way off, in the middle of a field of flowers. He came toward me, took hold of my wrist, and personally guided me around to look at all the flowers. I thought to myself that now that I have met Jesus, I could not ask for anything more.

Ever since that night, whenever I received a revelation through dreams, I longed to see Father so much I could not do anything else. So after my husband, who was a teacher, had gone to work, I went to see Father. Father asked me, "Sister, did you by any chance have a revealing dream?" He went on to ask what I had dreamt, and I told him. I was immensely pleased when he told me that I have a very pure spirituality. From then on, I could not do housework at home: I yearned at all times to go to see Father. I had been known for being a neat housewife. Even my in-laws had complimented me for keeping my house neat and clean. Yet, there I was, unable to carry on with my household chores. I no longer cared how much kimchi was left or how many side dishes there were for a meal. I could not even do the dishes because I begrudged the time spent washing them. To Bok-sil, the girl who looked after …

Now that I was going to see Father though, the pastor. a church elder and a deaconess from the church came to my house weekly. They held services in my house. They told me I was caught up with the greatest of all heretics. Even as I was overflowing with joy because I had found the Lord at last, they told me time and time again that he was a heretic. They entreated me to attend services in the church with them, calling out my name, Kim In-ju! and telling me to come in. But God would not let me enter. I told them plainly that I had found my Lord and had no reason to enter their church. I told them that having found my Lord, I could not follow around behind the deaconess or the elder. It was unnecessary I said, because having met Father, I had found my baby I said, "You look after the baby, do the dishes and clean the house before my husband returns from work " Leaving the housekeeping to Bok-sil, I went to see Father, who explained all about Divine Principle to me. I'm sure you all know the Principle. He taught it to me, chapter by chapter. It was so interesting that I felt it would drive me crazy. [True Father interjected: You did go crazy. You must go insane and cross innumerable hills along your path. Everyone has to.]

I told myself that I should study the Divine Principle on my own, and every night Heaven also taught me many things in my dreams. [Father: You were half asleep and half awake.] Because there were several thousand members in Pyongyang's Jangdaeyeon Church, the pastor could only visit the member's houses twice a year, once in spring and once in autumn.

I think I have spoken enough about my experiences. I will now go on to talk about how much Father has suffered. Father was imprisoned and beaten severely, so very severely. One day he was taken to a place called Yudong, where he was beaten so harshly, that the clothes of the one beating hint were spattered with blood from head to toe. We were told to bring Father other clothes to wear, but when Pastor Cha Jang-sun tried to take off the clothes Father had been wearing, he couldn't do it; they were so caked with dried blood they would not come off. They had to be torn oft in order to put the new garments on.

Next, there was a place called Taedong Security Center, located in the sand fields of Pyongyang. Father was taken there and beaten yet again, and so severely that he was on the verge of death. We were confident that God would see him through all such beatings, but to see him beaten for no reason at all tore at our hearts and wrung our heartstrings. All of you, I ask you not to leave the Unification Church; stay until the end. Our Father received all these beatings for no one else but us. He was beaten time and again, but because he has endured, the Unification Church can thrive today. He was beaten to such an extent that he started throwing up blood. He vomited blood into a common washbasin. He could not get down even a bite of food without starting to vomit blood again.

(In the North, we didn't call him Father; we called him Teacher.) We worried that he would not live through the beating, because he was bleeding all over. If Father had indeed left this world then, who would we have to follow and believe in after having caused the Lord at his Second Coming to undergo such torture? After they had severely beaten Father -- in fact, after they could beat him no more, they let him go.

He was placed outside the walls, and the members brought him home. Father vomited so much blood that it filled the washbasin to the brim. We all thought he would not make it after such blood loss. Kim Won-pil went to an oriental clinic by the name of Baekjoong and had medicine made for Father. He decocted it and made Father drink it. Father was incapacitated for a few days, almost as if he was dead with no hope of living, but then he started giving sermons to us. We thought he should get well before he started speaking again, but he went on none the less giving sermon after sermon. In this way, after being released from prison, it was almost as it Father was brought back to life at Kim Jeong-hwa's home. [She is the wife of a cousin on Mrs. Kim In-Ju's mother's side.]

We made him rice gruel and fish porridge and nursed him back to health. Then others were imprisoned, members of the Inside the Belly Church, which had received the revelation that the Lord would come to earth through a womb. One of those imprisoned was Huh Ho-bin, who was brutally beaten in prison as well. Father felt sorry for them and sent them a message telling them to say whatever they had to say to be released. If they had listened to Father, he would have suffered much less and more of them would have survived. They were beaten so much that several of the Inside the Belly Church members died there. Father was nursed back to health, but even after that he was imprisoned several times.

The place where he suffered most was the Hungnam Special Labor Camp. You have no idea how much he suffered there. The prisoners there were practically starved. Every day saw the death of several of them from starvation. Father, too, was ill fed and went hungry all the time. We complain now that we don't have enough to eat or what not, but when I think back on those times, it is my opinion that we, too, should experience prison life. Nowadays, there are a great number of members and the church cannot provide for them all. When the instruction was given for members [at the 2006 Cheon II Guk Leader's Assembly] to buy their own food, members did it somewhat grudgingly, but when we think of how much Father has suffered, we shouldn't worry about not having rice or money in the house. Since Father has suffered so much, we should experience a needy existence in order to understand what he has gone through. You should not grumble that you have no clothes, no rice or other food to eat. He was content eating rice with red pepper paste or bean paste and nothing else. All you need is to do your best and have a condition-setting lifestyle that benefits the Unification Church.

Didn't Jesus leave this world without getting married? Compared to that, doesn't our Father have a beautiful wife, our Mother? Since our True Parents have performed the Feast of the Lamb, in accordance with God's instructions, when Father was forty years old and Mother seventeen, we have achieved success.

You should not think about what you lack, but go out and witness for our church. Father tells us to witness, and when we read what has been written, it also tells us to witness to at least one person a month. If possible, let us witness to our relatives as quickly as we can, so that our church can prosper that much more quickly.