We are living in the Completed Testament Age, the Age described in the Book of Revelation, Chapter 21. There it is said that the dwelling place of God is with men. So the providential Age has come to this point, but the question is whether we are ready to participate in this time. Specifically, are we in the position to allow God to dwell in our families?

In general, we can say that we are not at that point. The Age is ready, but we are not. So there is a gap. Why is this the case?

In the Family Pledge, we refer to each of us becoming a holy son or holy daughter of God. Father has previously said that a holy son or daughter is one who can follow the law of God's palace. Are we at that stage? Can any person say that he or she is perfected?

Why we have come to think that perfection is so difficult? In reflecting on this, I conclude it is because we have so often conceived of ourselves as sinners. If we think of ourselves as sinners, then we are likely to commit sin. But if we think of ourselves as holy people, we are more likely to live like that. So we have to revolutionize our self concept. Of course we have many shortcomings, but nevertheless we should still think of ourselves as God's children. We should wake up in the morning with the concept "I am God's child," and we should continue with the concept that we can reach the stage of being a holy son or daughter.

We understand that the foundation for reciting the Family Pledge is comprised of unity between mind and body, between husband and wife and between parents and children. I would like to speak to each of these points.

How can we bring unity between mind and body? Father emphasizes that this takes place through True Love. But what is True Love? It is love that can sacrifice itself for the other. Therefore, the body must be able to sacrifice itself in order to follow the higher dimensions of the mind. So Father says that before one should even wish to have control of the cosmos, he must have control of himself. This means the control of one's desire.

With reference to unity between the husband and wife, as you know, Father's matches sometimes appear to be difficult. But why are they difficult? This is because of inherent satanic power. Once that power is dispersed, then beauty emerges. So the task is to remove Satan through special effort. Once that is accomplished by the couple, then a special beauty can emerge. That is the beauty that Father sees in potential when he makes the match.

So how can we enhance husband/wife relationships? Let me speak to several points. First of all, and most basically, spouses need to pay attention to each other. They need to have concern for the other and in particular strive to understand and forgive each other.

In this regard, constancy is of the utmost importance. The universe is one of order because it continues on the same path all the time. Similarly, Olympic champions do the same thing time after time in order to develop their ability. Similarly, to become a champion of love requires repeated investment, repeated acts of concern, repeated understanding and forgiveness.

The next principle is that of having a mind of yielding, a mind of concession.

One also must have a "serving mind."

Finally, one should strive to find the strong points of one's spouse, not the weak points. Said another way, we should look for the long points, not the short points of our spouse.

Further, we communicate through words and behavior. There is a saying "good words come and good words go." When we say good words to the other, good words will come back.

I would also like to discuss the question of our concept of our spouse. We need to have a clear idea of who our spouse is in relationship to ourselves.

First of all, because God's ideal in creation is the achievement of love, without our spouse, we cannot achieve God's ideal. So our spouse is our absolutely necessary counterpart.

Second of all, husbands and wives are co-workers together in giving birth to children and in the creation of a family.

Thirdly, spouses are best friends. Just think, you are likely to stay together with your spouse 50 or more years. This is the person with whom you will share joy and pain, happiness and suffering. There is no other person with whom you will share so much. Indeed, your spouse is the one who will care for you through all your individual trials.

Further, your spouse is your physician who will be the first one to notice a change in your condition.

Next, husband and wife are teachers for each other, guiding each other to understand their good and bad habits.

As we know, the ideal of married life is a true unity of heart between husband and wife. When that is achieved, spiritually husband and wife become one body-like one body with two faces.

But how do we know in this physical life how united we are becoming spiritually? I can point to three standards: First, one spouse can say to God and True Parents in his deepest and most honest heart, "I am so grateful you gave me my spouse."

Secondly, you feel in your heart that you really love your husband or wife.

Thirdly, in your heart, when your spouse goes away, you can feel that he or she stays in your heart. So you don't feel that you are separated. You may not feel this all the time, but at least sometimes you feel that your spouse is still dwelling in your heart.

I will say a few words about parents and children. The first child, of course, is to receive only love from his parents. The second child should receive a father's love, a mother's love and also his elder sibling's love. So for children, it should be easy to grow to perfection.

But in reality, it is not so clear because of our fallen inheritance and corruptive environment. So children need to be guided properly. The best time to educate children is at pledge service. If children know that the parents are praying for them, then they will not go in a bad direction.

The kingdom of heaven is the place where happy people go. So, if there is pain in parents' minds over their children, they won't qualify to go to the kingdom of heaven. So if children make a mistake, then the parents will have pain until the children are liberated. this is why we say that we must enter the kingdom of God together, as a family.

Rev. Young Whi Kim is the former president of the Unification Church of Korea; one of the first 36 couples blessed by True Parents, and currently is Chairman of the Board of Sun Myung Moon University.

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