The Words of the Krishnek Family

Why I came to STF

Chung Hwa Krishnek
September 11, 2005

My name is Chung Hwa Krishnek and I’m from Bellingham, Washington. I want to share about why I came to STF and how I’m doing so far. My dad, Larry Krishnek, has been working for CARP for around 20 years and STF for 5 years. My sisters both graduated from STF. It’s like a Krishnek family tradition. As a Krishnek, I felt the call of duty. However, that’s not my main reason for coming to STF.

Basically all my life I have been lazy and unmotivated. Whenever I started something, like joining a sport, I’d never persevere until the end. I always gave up and made excuses. I wanted to be determined but I never pushed myself. I knew I had to change myself or else I’d never accomplish anything or be happy. I decided to join STF to get a little kick in the butt into the right direction.

I knew I was going to go to STF when I was in 7th grade. However, I never really thought about it until a month before I had to leave. When I actually thought about it I started to freak out and become somewhat negative. I thought, "Oh my gosh! This is ridiculous! I can’t believe they’re making me go!" In reality no one ever even talked to me about going let alone forcing me to go. I began a 21-day condition in order to calm myself down. I read a couple of pages of The Divine Principle and prayed 7 minutes every night. My dad joined my prayer for the last 3 nights. Actually, that condition was my first condition ever. I felt very peaceful by the end of it. I waved goodbye to Washington and headed to Iowa for the 21-day kickoff workshop.

The kickoff workshop was incredible. Rev. Irwin, Rev. Schanker, and Rev. Cotter loaded our brains with holy information. It was a lot to digest but I was happy to receive it. My preconception of the people on STF was that everyone would be perfect and my captains would yell at me for being so fallen. I came to realize that STF is a huge support group. Everyone around you knows exactly what you’re going through. I quickly fell in love with the people.

My year goal for STF is to come to understand God and True Parent’s heart. When I came up with that goal I didn’t really have a clue about what it meant. I knew that God loves me and I’m supposed to love God, but I never felt it or understood it. Actually, because I’m lazy, I never put any real effort into loving God or trying to understand Him. I often imagined myself commanding, "God! Cometh down from Thy clouds and show Thyself to me," and God would then be before my eyes and say, "Hey there, here I am." At the workshop I finally decided to stop dreaming and actually pray about my goal. Because I put effort into my prayer, I finally understood that God is with us constantly. He’s already fulfilled His responsibility, and He wants to dwell in my heart. Unfortunately, I close my heart up and don’t take any responsibility. I understand this now. Now that I understand, I must change myself in order to feel it in my heart and eventually I will understand God’s heart.

I’m still on the first step of a long staircase but at least I know where I’m supposed to go. I understand that I can’t be lazy anymore if I want to change. STF has helped me become motivated in just a month, and I’m eager to see how much I can grow in two years. Thank you. Mansei!