My situation with God right now is probably the most difficult. Of course, I’ve always believed in God, but belief and faith are two completely different things. I’m struggling very hard to believe in God already, and faith is another struggle, that’s more difficult. I believe FR, no matter how difficult, is helping what little faith I have in God, though. It’s funny, but faith in God is one of the most important things that I wish to gain here on STF. Most of the kids on STF already have faith in God, ant it’s sad that I still have to achieve this goal; I felt as if I’m starting from scratch, while everyone else is two steps ahead of me.

My team... actually, I don’t really have any real problems with any of them. I admire our "crusher" the most out of everyone here. I admire all of them in their own way, but I truly believe Haluko has a heart of gold. I know in the future she will be doing so many great things. When you’re around her, you can automatically feel a warm and loving aura, which is why I believe she’s such an accomplished fundraiser. Our team captain, Kyung, is completely different from what I thought an STF team captain should be like. Before STF I thought I would struggle the most with my captain, but that’s obviously not the case. He’s very inspiring, and is basically the type of leader I believe I needed the most for my first-time FR experience.

Our driver, Erik, is also a great person. I admire him so much for leaving his wife and children behind for the sake of STF. I’m completely grateful for having him on our team; he’s nothing short of admirable. Basically, I’m learning an incredible amount of lessons from all of my team mates, and even more so when I struggle with them.

FR is incredibly difficult, to be blunt. It’s so much more challenging then what I expected. Out of everyone in the van, I’m the least experienced in not only the language, but FR in general. It was difficult. My external results are not the worst, but they’re also not the best, which is the most difficult thing for me to accept. I’m so used to being the best, or at least second best, but here, I’m right in the middle, and it’s hard to even keep that position. It’s even harder knowing the fact that the crusher of our team completely deserves that title. It’s sad to say, but I know I will never be even half as loving to the people as she is…

My feelings now... I didn’t believe it was possible, but I actually miss everyone in my family a lot. I know everyone gets homesick, but I left four younger siblings by themselves when I came here, and I’m always praying and thinking about them and their safety. Because I’m always thinking about my family, I’m kind of depressed a lot. It’s always difficult FR when I’m thinking about my siblings. I do hope in the future that I will not be too depressed about my family and concentrate more on FR.

Determination: I am pretty determined to get to the top of our team in FR. I’m of course determined to reach my external goal, but I believe my internal goals are so much more important. I’m always so focused on my external goals that I forget my internal, so I guess I’m pretty determined to be focused on my internal goals. I’m also very determined not to leave STF, or quit. Prove to myself and my friends and family back at home who didn’t have any confidence in me coming here, that I can take STF. I can do this. I will be here until graduation, and not leave before.

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