Our family was living in isolation in Hungary, and was struggling so much the whole mission was in grave jeopardy. As a last resort and aggressive condition, the CF in charge of Eastern European missions (whom I would meet in great secrecy every few months to discuss the situation, report and receive news) suggested I attend Rev. Ahn's upcoming 40-Day WS in NYC.

Our daughter was about 16 months old. No way to explain to any relative or friend that I needed to leave her for six weeks. In fact, I could not tell anyone what I was up to, other than that I was going WITH HER on holiday to the US. But Rev. Ahn's workshop was not the kind where you could have toddlers around and still make a good condition of it, or so my CF said. Who would look after her?

The solution: I would have to take her to Vienna (the capital of the nearest western country), where this CF would pick her up and take her to a blessed family who would take good care of her while I would proceed to NY . Because of the necessary secrecy at the time, I could not meet this family, could not introduce my daughter to the new home. She was too young to discuss it together. What little language she had acquired was Hungarian. Mummy would give her over to a stranger, who would take her away and she would find herself among people she did not know, who could not understand her speech, with strange manners and habits. Mummy would not come back that day, or the day after... Mummy would just be gone. As happy, trusting and curious, even adventurous a child as she was, the prospect seemed to me just too frightening to contemplate. But so did the evolution of our circumstances and the collapse of our mission...I remembered how True Father had entrusted that mission to me. I thought of the Korean blessed wives leaving their babies in orphanages to go pioneering for three years. Compared to that...(Gary, thanks for your prayers!)

It had to be done. I prepared everything, packed the suitcases. The train we were boarding for Vienna would leave early in the morning, my plane from Vienna to NY later that day. I set the alarm. There were maybe two or three hours left for sleep. I lay down. About an hour later, the phone rang. No name was spoken, but I knew the voice: "You are not on the plane yet? So there is no problem. You are not going!"

Our struggles continued but, unbeknown to us, other underground missionaries broke through shortly afterwards and found new members who are now blessed couples. Communism collapsed the next year and with open witnessing and teaching a young dynamic Hungarian UC was growing fast.

I was never again faced with leaving my daughter for longer than she was ready for. I sometimes feel ashamed in front of other Uni mothers.

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