The Words of Won Pil Kim
The blessed couples who started their family are the senior members to newly blessed couples. The newly blessed couples can teach matched couples. We can have a meeting for these groups. Among the blessed members, we could have a meeting between the members who just started their families, and those who have been together a long time and have children. The senior members should teach the junior members. Newly blessed members can ask questions to those who were blessed before. In these meetings we should discuss common points. Don't expect to gain something only from a meeting, though. In your daily life, you can learn so much from your senior blessed couples.
Before the Blessing and after the Blessing is completely different. I can tell you from my experience that you will feel like you are having two kinds of struggles. Before the Blessing you had your own individual problems, but after getting blessed, if your spouse has a problem, you also have to worry about him or her.
Father spoke about the Blessing so many times. So what we have to do is study Father's words more and try to put them into practice in our daily lives. I am still learning from Father's words. We can understand Father's words only to a certain extent because they are so deep. When I reflect on Father's words, I realize I can understand part of them deeply, exactly like Father, but some of his words I still don't understand. We understand according to our level of growth; I am still growing.
Intellectually, we may be able to understand, but heartistically we don't. When we understand his words through our own experience, we then gain our own victory and overcome the problem. Until that point, we may understand intellectually, but not from the heart. When professors and well-known people give a public speech, they often use quotes from other people. When Father gives a talk, he doesn't mention other people's words; he speaks out of his own experience.
One thing that we must always remember is that we received the Blessing because of Father's deep heart of love for us. True Parents' love and expectation for us through the Blessing is something that should remain in our life of faith. Please keep it in your heart.
It is on the basis of the unity between God, True Parents, man and woman that we receive the Blessing. We should feel this kind of heart of unity with our spouse, centering on God and True Parents' heart and will, throughout our lives until we go to the spirit world.
This kind of heart spreads to the family, society, nation, world, and to the whole universe, and then finally it comes back to God and True Parents' heart. This means it will return to the starting point. But only when it is perfected can it return to the starting point. My spirit comes from heaven so it will go back to heaven. My body comes from the earth, so when I die my body returns to the ground. When you go to school, you start from your house, and then you go to school. When you go to your job, you start from your house and then go to your job. When you finish your classes or your job, you come back at night to your family. The family is the starting point in everything.
An individual starts from the family level, to the tribe, to the society, to the nation, to the world, and even to the universal level. But finally he will come back to the family: to the starting point. Many members from Europe may be here in America, but you are only here temporarily. You will return to your homeland and your families. For example, when war breaks out, the men go to fight, but after the war they will always come back to their home and family.
How do we return to the starting point? Our eternal home is the place where God and True Parents are. In this way we came from heaven, and we will return to heaven where God dwells. Also in this physical world, we start from our family, and go out to the society, nation, world, and universe, but finally return home. This physical world is the training place for us to learn how to come back to the original point as perfected people. At the starting point we are just babies, but when we finally return to our home, we must come back perfected. We inherit true love from True Parents and God. Then we go out, and when we come back it should be with perfected love. You should never forget the heart and determination you had at the beginning of your life course. You receive the seed of love from your parents, and then you plant, grow, and water it, until it becomes a beautiful blossom. If you receive one seed from your parents, you have to multiply it, and then return to your parents with many blossoms.
A couple receiving the Holy Wine.
Adam and Eve received the blessing from God, but they could not give any blossom or perfection back to God because they forgot about the heart of God. When God gave them the Blessing He had such incredible love for them, but they forgot about His heart and love toward them. God also gave them a condition they had to keep.
If they could keep this commandment from God, then automatically the Blessing would come to them. God gave them the Blessing, but they couldn't keep God's word. So Satan claimed their blessing. In order for us to get the Blessing, where shall we go? God will tell us that He already gave the Blessing to us, so He doesn't have it. The Blessing is in the fallen world; we have to go there and regain the Blessing from Satan. In order for us to understand how to regain the Blessing, we have to know the reason why Adam and Eve fell.
When the archangel tempted Adam and Eve, if they were not self-centered they could have refused the temptation. They thought from their own self-centered point of view. That's why they were susceptible. They should have asked God what to do, because God gave them the Blessing and His word at the same time. If they followed and kept God's word, then they would have never fallen. God would never tell them: "I don't know about that; I don't care about that." God would surely have taken care of them. To ask God is man's responsibility. The relationship between the archangel and Eve and the relationship between fallen Eve and Adam came from self-centered love.
From the Principle, you know that the archangel felt a decrease of love. It was not wrong in itself for the archangel to feel the decrease of love. It is natural for man to feel this also because we have the capability to compare ourselves with other people. The important point is not feeling a decrease of love, but how to deal with this feeling. When the archangel felt a decrease of love, he thought only he was feeling the decrease of love. But God also felt the decrease of love; the archangel did not realize God's situation.
When you hear that God also felt a decrease of love, you must wonder how this could be. How did God feel a decrease of love? Before creating man, God loved the archangel and the archangel returned this love to God. The love which God had toward the archangel was exactly the same before and after creating Adam and Eve. But after the archangel felt the decrease of love, was his love for God the same as before he felt the decrease of love? Before the archangel returned 100 percent love back to God, but afterwards, the archangel returned only 70 percent. God still expected 100 percent love from him, but only received 70 percent. If you love your spouse with 100 percent of your love, and your spouse just returns 70 percent of his or her love, then how do you feel? Surely you feel the decrease of love. It was the same with God and the archangel.
When the archangel felt the decrease of love, he centered only on himself. He didn't think that God was also feeling the same decrease of love. If he had thought about the situation of God, he would have thought, "I feel lonely, but at the same time, God is also feeling lonely." If he thought from God's point of view, he could never have tempted Eve. But he carried this decrease of love to Eve. When the two of them united, then Eve inherited this self-centered love from the archangel. Then Eve became one with Adam, so Adam also inherited self-centered love.
In this fallen world, if people give up their self-centered love and change to God-centered love, the world will become the ideal world. If we create such a God-centered world, even Satan cannot be Satan anymore. Only with God-centered love can we regain God's blessing from Satan.
When we receive the Blessing from True Parents, there are four points that we pledge. Only through fulfilling these will our blessing become eternal. The Blessing which God gave to Adam and Eve was also a conditional blessing. The condition was total unity with God's word. If Adam and Eve had fulfilled this condition, automatically this blessing would have become their own absolute and eternal blessing. Our blessing is not in the level of perfection. We receive the Blessing on the way to perfection. Because of the condition of trying to unite with True Parents' words, we can receive the Blessing. After receiving the Blessing it is our responsibility to gain the substantial victory. Both spouses must try to unite with True Parents. We must keep the heart and love which we felt at the time of the Blessing throughout our lives.
When I received the Blessing, I didn't know much about it beforehand. Now you know you are going to get the blessing someday in the Unification Church, but at that time I only knew about the Blessing one month before I was blessed. One month before I heard a vague story in a public meeting where many people gathered, but not a clear explanation. The 36 couples were matched, but at that time we never thought about marriage. Then, Father spoke many words about the Blessing, but we didn't write down the words. Compared with us, you know much more than we did. You don't need me to teach you, you can teach. Please study Father's words about the Blessing many times.
6516 Couples Blessing, October 30, 1988.
Some couples are now in the separation period, but someday they will come together. When you meet, you have to think about the heart you had at the time of the Blessing. You received the Blessing on the foundation of your total unity with God and True Parents. Please ask yourselves, is my heart exactly the same now as it was when we were first blessed? If there is difference between your heart then and now, you have to analyze how it declined.
How about blessed couples who already started their family? Let's think about a wife who stays at home and the husband goes out for the public mission and comes back late at night. Suppose every morning the husband and wife pray together and then go out for the public mission. At night, when husband and wife meet again, do they have the same spirit or heart that they had in the morning when they prayed together? It should not be different. If there is a difference of heart and spirit then we have to check why it changed. This heart level should be the same in the beginning when they go out and when they return home. Is the unity of heart we feel now higher or stronger than what we felt at the time of the Blessing?
When I was living in Seoul with my family, I didn't take this point so seriously. Studying more about Father's words and observing Father's family, I found it difficult to meet my own family again. Whenever I fulfilled in doing God's mission, then I could come back home without feeling bad. But if I didn't do enough to fulfill the public mission, then it was very difficult to go back home and see my wife because I felt a guilty conscience to see her again. Whenever I left home to do my public mission, my wife and I promised each other to follow God's will and fulfill our responsibility together. When I came back home my wife and my children really welcomed me and looked at me as the hope for the family; if I had not done really well I had a guilty conscience.
What kind of attitude should we have when we meet each other? Not every day is a happy day; sometimes it's a very difficult day, or sometimes it's a very good day. When we meet we should have consideration toward our spouse because he or she might have had a difficult day. Then when we go out to confront Satan in the fallen world, we can overcome even strong opposition.
Those who have not started family life don't know this situation, but those who have, do understand. The husband goes out to his mission, but when he comes back, if his wife gives him a word of comfort then he immediately forgets about all the problems and difficulties. The wife is perhaps taking care of the babies at home, or taking care of the church members. When the husband comes back home after having taken care of so many responsibilities, he expects some comfort from his wife. But if instead the wife only tells him about the difficult problems she faced during the day, then the husband becomes discouraged. We may gain the victory outside, but when we come back home, we are defeated. We overcome Satan out there, but he still doesn't keep silent. Before we arrive home, he's already there to attack and try to defeat us through our family.
Satan was defeated by Jesus in the wilderness, but then Satan invaded one of the disciples. When we defeat Satan, the next thing Satan does is to attack the person closest to us, so as to attack us through this person. If Satan is defeated by this person, he then attacks the next closest one. Satan only retreats step by step; he never goes completely away.
How can we defeat Satan who tries to attack us through our family? The important thing to do is to make our attitudes take a selfless point of view. How can we do this? The husband, in order not to give in to a self-centered viewpoint when he comes back home, should not expect to be comforted by his wife, even though he may have gone through many difficult things during the day. Before expecting comfort, he should try to comfort and encourage his wife, giving her Father's word or God's word. He should try to understand her situation and the difficulties in taking care of the children.
What should the wife's attitude be? She should not be Satan's instrument! She should also first think about her spouse: "My husband is in a public mission, carrying so many problems with him, so I really have to comfort him when he comes back." The wife should not expect to be given comfort from her husband, or to receive gifts and nice words. When they meet they have to have care and consideration toward each other.
Satan loves a self-centered attitude; he loves us when we are self-centered. When there is an accident or sickness in the family, the spouses should think that it is because they didn't do enough in their mission, or their direction is different from Father's direction. If they accuse each other, "You didn't take care of the baby enough; that's why the baby got sick," then nothing can be solved. At that time both should think, "It's because I didn't do enough; I didn't recognize my faults, my shortcomings." Both should reflect and try to think from God's viewpoint.
This same viewpoint can be applied when taking care of members. When something wrong happens to the members, the leader has to think that it was because he didn't do enough, or didn't take care of the members enough. Maybe it's because we are not following Father's direction correctly, and God wants us to recognize that point.
For example, if there are two nations, and one attacks the other, the one being attacked should think that it is because their king and people are not united enough. For the enemy to attack them is wrong, but through this they have to recognize the need to unite more. When we receive persecution from outside people, we should then unite more with Father. We should develop a better understanding of his situation.
The family is our basic training ground. Everything starts from the family. When you were first blessed you had good unity between yourself and your fiance, and you didn't worry about your fiance, but just united with God and your fiance. But when you were separated you started to worry about your fiance. At this time you have to check your relationship with God, and check whether or not you are uniting with Father's words and direction. The problem came as a result, so there mug be a cause. When there is something wrong you must check your relationship to find the cause of the difficulty. At the time of the Holy Wine ceremony, you touched hands and bowed and shared the wine with each other. You should keep the heart that you had at this time, no matter what happens. You must constantly check whether you have kept it or not.
When you have a happy family, God is the person who can be the most happy about that. But when we have a disunited family, Satan is the person who really loves that. When you leave the level of heart you had at the Holy Wine ceremony, immediately Satan invades. If we set up this bad condition, then Satan can invade us. We should unite totally with God and True Parents' heart and love. If we become self-centered, Satan can immediately attack and invade us.
At the time of the flood judgment of Noah, there was nobody Satan could relate to. The blackbird was going around the ship, but he had no place to land; finally, however, he could find one point to land. This symbolized that in Noah's family, Ham had one condition where Satan could invade. It's the same for us. If we become self-centered, this means we set up the condition for Satan to attack. When you receive the matching and blessing, at that time you are really righteous and precious in front of Father; you have the right to inherit an eternal family centered on God's love. But as time goes by, gradually you become self-centered and Satan attacks you.
I would like to explain how Satan invades us through the base of self-centeredness. At the time of the Blessing, everything is okay for you, but gradually you become self-centered. You hear about some blessed or matched couples who didn't remain with each other and the Blessing or engagement was broken, and some people were matched again. You feel sorry to hear these kinds of things. For example, if in one couple one spouse doesn't like the other person and leaves the church, they might find another person and get married and then after seven or eight years they come back to the church. These rumors invade you and gives Satan a chance to attack. Or you hear about the past life of your fiance or spouse from another person. When you become self-centered, another person can come close to you, and begin to look very wonderful to you, perhaps more handsome or beautiful than your fiance. Satan attacks gradually, but as time passes, he really occupies our heart until we cannot control ourselves anymore.
Let's say one person receives the Blessing, but when he goes out to do his mission he witnesses to a wonderful person. He takes care of the person, and as they come to have a closer and deeper relationship, he begins to compare this person with his fiance.
Another example is the person who had a girl friend or boyfriend in the past, and as he begins to be self-centered begins to think about this girlfriend or boyfriend. After receiving the blessing nothing changes externally, but to Satan you look so beautiful. Many people will come close to you to tempt you. Check yourself by comparing yourself to the original point of the Blessing.
A beautiful or handsome spouse is okay, but we don't know what is going to happen in the future. If they are in a traffic accident, then their face may suddenly become deformed. We cannot guarantee our external beauty, so we should keep the beauty of our original heart at the time of the Blessing.
As a couple, we should really inherit the heart and tradition of True Parents and try to see our wife as part of True Mother, and our husband as part of True Father. True Parents' family is a great example and we should always have the attitude to learn from them.
I would like to share one thing about the True Family. Father had to always take care of the church members, so most of the time he was absent from his family and home. Even when he was at home, many national leaders came seeking advice from him. Because of this he could not have personal time with his own children. One day Father had a meeting in the New Yorker Hotel, so he had to leave the house late at night. His newborn baby was not yet 40 days old and Father wanted to have time with him. When he was about to leave the house Father spoke to the baby from the front door. Of course the baby couldn't understand, but Father reported to the baby: "I feel very sorry that I can't have time with you. But members are waiting to receive my words, so I have to go there; please understand my situation and forgive me."