Well, although I still have bronchitis, I thought I'd write a little bit about Chung Pyung Lake. Originally True Father said that sisters attending 21 days should go without baths/showers. When we were there, we were allowed to use the showers once every three days or so. We were warned to use as little water as possible when we showered. We were NOT given special time to do laundry. The schedule is very tight, generally speaking. I had to hand wash and then carry everything to a far away place to dry. Then after I got everything out to dry, we had 3 or 4 days of rain. Well, I just figured it was my particular indemnity course and did my best to not become complaining. We aren't going there for vacation. We go there to clean up our sins and fallen natures and indemnity is necessary. So any and all inconveniences we experience are used by Heaven for that purpose.

It was emphasized that we keep the schedule and all of the rules. They are for our benefit and also for the sake of the whole purpose. Waiting in lines for everything and sometimes finding meals ran out are a matter of course which we should accept with a grateful heart. Every experience we have should meet gratitude. The grace that is being granted to us is priceless and the small things (or big things) are insignificant compared with the deeper meaning of what is granted to us. I tried to keep the attitude that this one session of ahnsu might be my last. This one session of Hoon Dok might be my last. So I want to invest everything, with the right attitude and heart, moment by moment. I still found that I would find my mind wandering or my heart or thinking off, even though I sincerely tried to challenge myself to be objective to God's and True Parents' desire.

I found it helpful to take the attitude that I serve others in little ways as a way of substantially loving those whom my ancestors or my peoples might have hurt in the past. If someone were having a hard time making it up the hills, for example, even though I might be having a hard time, I could help by pushing that person from behind or take their bags or something like that. Or if someone were very tired and seemed a little sick, give them a back rub. Once, during ahnsu, this older Western grandmother needed some help. So I felt that she is my grandmother's representative and by serving her, I am serving my own grandmother whom I couldn't take care of when she was alive. Another sister who was needing help was my younger sister whom I wish I could bring to Chung Pyung Lake but can't. I tried to have that kind of heart and attitude to each person in each situation. Of course, ansu and all of the other things we have to participate in should center on repentance and personal cleaning up.

But when I wasn't feeling so well or tired or my heart wasn't where it should be, when I couldn't pray or repent or whatever, I found that serving others brought unexpected grace! One elderly grandmother (Korean) with bad legs and back had a hard time going from place to place, especially she had a hard time to go down the stairs and I could see she was in a lot of pain. I felt I should give her my arm and help her down the stairs and massage her legs and back. I felt that God gave me this opportunity to serve her and that she was representing Dae Mo Nim. I never served Dae Mo Nim when she was alive on the earth. I never attended her or even heard of her. I wished I could have somehow loved her and helped her so God sent this old lady my way and I really experienced God's love for her and for many other sisters, too, in this way. Well, there are so many things to share but it is family prayer time now and I have to close up the computer till tomorrow.

I felt a tremendous spirit of support from sisters at Chung Pyung Lake and I am so grateful.

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