The Words of the Cisse Family
The quality of my offering, there, is largely to be improved.
To expose faith and engagement for all to see was more and more challenging with each video.
The original offering was 40 holy songs in English, then in French, within 8 days, introducing the authors for the words and for the music, and how each song came to be born. And a personal testimony, one step at a time, with after each song. The challenge was thick and real. The deadline long overdue, and a couple of missing French translations, lowering the number down to 36 songs.
All ingredients were on my side: disponibility, environment, and encouragement, yet didn't fulfill. I worked hard letting real self be sincere to testify my spiritual course with True Parents, from my very first touch about them, all the way 'til now.
This first doing is more like that a draft for what need really be, deeper, more precise, concise. I will let it be, though. Do we throw away a new-born baby just a few seconds old, all sticky with wastes from placenta and the mum's womb?
I first got caught with the externals, the how, when, and where, until I chose being just real to share how things developed with me. The beauty of my blessed marriage let me have only my Conscience to go to God, for guidance. To my question: what can I do helping You, God? He/She said to me: help them (husband, Africans) know that they are loved! I needed be humbler, wiser, more mature, more sincere in walking Mother's walk, and I needed asking God more: How to do that, please God?
It needed take the time to listen to God, learn and prepare, before starting something.
Because I missed doing it, two long decades passed by with yet success to come. And more than that, an intangible resentment to God and True Parents unmistakingly took place in me because I couldn't do what I was asked, even under True Parents and Divine Principle.
Once, Lady Dr. Kim had guided me to be aware that quite several women in my linage were abandoned by men, and died with an unresolved resentment that added with each one, generation after generation, down to me. To help me until better times for me, she simply advised me to...not pray, saying: for you, the less you pray the better you are. She was always wise, saving us from unnecessary further details.
My testimony, to the world and universe, is what it needs me: objective and real, so that any like me can find hope, and feel they can go for it also. At least, that's my hope.
So, I began the journey back to God with only two remnants from previous reflections about God that prevented me to judge once for all He/She existed or not:
1. The Scout pledge itself had affected my soul very deeply. 2. The many religious buildings in the world betray the existence of thousands of men and women who dedicated their life to God, Jesus, Mahomet, Buddha.
Generation after generation, they celebrated and adored their guides and spiritual masters. But, alike they themselves, I was unaware that the adored and worshiped wrong understanding, and loved wrong emotions.
Totally ignoramus of the spirit world and how our spiritual senses work, I didn't know that every single time I "thought" of God, Jesus, or of those saints, and other more secular religious people, we are affected by all about them, not just what we desire and like, the way we want.
What resentments can have something to do with God?
Let us say there are people in my linage as religious as to have dedicated their life to Jesus. Perhaps, hey were missionaries in Africa. Perhaps, God did ask them the very same things He/She asked me: please, help people know they are loved.
They couldn't do, because they genuinely, yet wrongly, loved and worshiped Jesus' death, instead of liking and walk Jesus' walk with his life, walking themselves relating and walking with their life the way Jesus did with them, to them. And loving the tortures the first
Because of that, they couldn't do: help people know they are loved. They must have started to doubt, wandering why, even under God and Jesus, they couldn't do.
Perhaps they grew blaming the people, men perhaps, to not understand, not returning their expected expression of gratefulness and love.
Frustration, and natural fallen angel wrongs emotions built up: doubt, then blame to people for not being able to understand.
But more than that, intangible resentment built up to God and Jesus, for being asked what seemed impossible to achieve. And they died like that, with such unresolved resentment.
And each time someone thought of them, their family members in particular, they got affected by something they were not aware of, and they inevitably "inherited" the resentment among other things.
With each generation, things got thicker and thicker, like with me, an intangible, real resentment about Heaven. I didn't know that it first started simply because they nourished themselves about Jesus, not knowing that Jesus had not been able to bring on earth true love.
How could they know, and how could they have not have wrong expectations with how they did, helping people know they were loved? How could I know?
To understand liberated me here, and could be given the vision of the 4pf, each one entirely free one from another, yet absolutely living and loving for the sake of the three others. I needed understand myself how I am true loved. I was not conscious of that. So, especially living at the time of Lord of 2nd Event, doubt, anger, and resentment to God, wrongly blaming God to ask me something it seemed that just didn't exist at all, grew inside of me. But now, I am free because liberated from ignorance, to enjoy letting God, Jesus, and True Parents love me, allowing them to fashion my original nature back.
And I am free because I could liberate the ancestors particularly prisoners of resentment to God and Jesus.
Liberation was possible as I could put words of what liberates us: true truth.
It's a very tiny baby step in liberating my ancestors, but it happened.