The Words of the Han Family
Col Han speaks to the leaders
Father held a Leader's Conference at the World Mission Center in New York City on June 5, 1989. During this conference, Father said that he would no longer come and speak to leaders. When he left, Col. San Kil Han shared his testimony about a time in Korea when Father said a similar thing to early members.
While Father is upstairs, I wanted to share a few thoughts with you from my experience of listening to Father for many years.
Father has given us all he can think of that is worthwhile and that he knows will be helpful to us. He even commented a few hours ago that he spoke a long time in order to give everything and not miss anything. He has done that almost all of his life. Otherwise I don't think Father could have passed along as much to us as he has.
When we first join the Unification Church, most members are fascinated by Father's deep knowledge and God-centered spiritual wisdom. We wonder how in the world he found out what he knows. But it takes a long time of hearing Father speak to completely grasp the meaning of his words. Though our ability to understand increases as we mature, still the more we hear Father's words, the more we may experience our inadequacies and limitations to fully understand him.
In Korea in the 1950s and 60s, Father spoke very intensely for many hours. We can never forget that intensity: it was like the whole spirit world was pressing down upon us in an atmosphere that was pitch dark. Father had to work very intensely to penetrate this desolate situation. Often he would start speaking around 7, 8, or 9 o'clock in the evening and continue through midnight. There was a curfew in Korea at midnight (because of the communists) at which time no one was allowed to go out into the street. Anyone remaining in the church at midnight had to stay there until 4:00 a.m., when the curfew ended. So Father often stayed until 4 or 5 a.m. For as long as I can remember, every single day during the several years after I joined the church Father's main focus and activity was speaking to us in that extremely intense way. Though I didn't retain enough of what he said, that experience served as a real foundation to understand his words.
Most of Father's words at that time were not recorded, since we had no recording system. The extent of retention by old members is also limited. This is the greatest loss to mankind, and we can only hope that the loss can be eased by the many words that have since been recorded.
The way Father spoke in Korea is quite different from the way he speaks in America. Of course there are common points, but in America, Father speaks so concretely. However, in Korea he spoke much more conceptually. Conceptual talk is really the basic foundation for concrete understanding, so it's very important. Therefore American members may not have that profound foundation that we need to fully understand Father's concrete way of talking. Without it we are apt to take Father's talking very shallowly. We listen to Father, but how much do we really understand? How seriously do we take his words?
After listening to Father for many years, I have become aware of what is most important, what is second most important, and so forth. It took me a long time before I confidently felt able to classify like this. So for a young member to evaluate the relative importance of Father's words is almost impossible.
Therefore we have many different kinds of responses and feelings listening to Father's words. Sometimes we may be like a hungry person devouring them, and become so full we stumble around. Yet our understanding may remain limited. We want to grow, but we aren't sure how. Sometimes our growth is irregular, just as boys don't grow steadily to manhood but in spurts. I think everyone would agree that without Father's words, we could not grow to become mature human beings; instead we would remain stunted for millennia to come. Although we are so grateful for Father's words, we don't always know what to do with them; we wonder how to actually make use of the words.
Each time we meet Father, he gives us more words. We are very inspired and so determined, but after a while we fall back to our previous position. We may lose the sense of where Father is leading us, sometimes even thinking Father is talking to us as a condition, and not with the intention that we directly apply his words to ourselves.
I have come to realize that receiving Father's words sometimes becomes a burden on us, for knowing truth is a burden. When we did not know the truth, we were without responsibility. Our spirit knows that hearing truth means taking responsibility, so sometimes we don't want to learn if we can help it!
When we notice our detachment, we must remind ourselves that Father is extremely serious about giving us an understanding of God, history, everything -- the type of education we can never get in any school, library or encyclopedia. It is that unique. These are the words that God hid from Satan, lest they be taken by Satan -- taken for granted, misused, or misinterpreted. Other faiths and Christian denominations know quite a bit, but always misinterpret some of the truth. Not knowing the whole, they cannot correctly understand all of the parts.
Several years ago in Belvedere, I clearly remember Father saying, "I gave you everything; there is no more to give you." Members nodded and felt they understood; but the next day they wanted something else. Then Father said, "You have heard enough; you should make use of what you have already learned." I knew that Father really gave everything and there was not much more he could give us, even though he would continue to speak every Sunday. Yet somehow, it was not strong enough to motivate us. Still we American members were waiting for something new, something more exciting to come, completely unaware that each word Father has spoken to us is itself a gem. No matter how often Father speaks to us, unless we ourselves really strive to understand the value and meaning of Father's words, we will not fully gain the benefit of what he says.
Now Father is saying again, "I gave you the most precious thing I could." Whether or not we understand the full meaning of Father's words, in time they will be realized -- we don't need to worry about that. But if we more completely understood Father, we would motivate ourselves much better. The strongest motivating power comes not from waiting for Father to say something more or different, but from deeply grasping the substance of Father's words.
Just as a teacher cannot predetermine all of the students to utilize what they are taught, Father cannot determine how well we understand. Father has suffered and prayed so much that he knows which words are necessary to certain types of people. This is why Father speaks with such vast breadth, hoping that we can all catch what we need from his words.
However, only we can enable ourselves to learn from Father. The only way to learn from Father's words is by loving him, not conceptually, but completely and sacrificially. If we were hungry and Father appeared, would we choose to see Father even though we might starve to death; or would we jump to eat and postpone meeting with Father until later?
We must know seriously that Father is everything to us in order to transcend the influences of our environment and grasp the full enlightenment Father offers us. Without having the proper perspective and attitude, Father's words will only be intellectual knowledge that is superior to what we have learned so far. However, in reality, Father's words are substantial spiritual nourishment. Just as we cannot live without food, our spirit cannot sustain itself for very long without Father's words.
When we read the Bible or Father's words with calm, quiet concentration, then their meaning may dawn on us and make an impact. Suddenly we begin to understand, even though we may have heard the same words 10 or 20 times before. Therefore we need to study Father's words with great seriousness and spiritual effort, meditating and praying that we can understand them. For other studies, we may quickly read and understand. But to digest Father's words, we have to really open ourselves up.
The best way to learn from Father is to love Father. We must really love Father, completely trusting him as a child trusts his parent, knowing that he can teach us all we need to lead us to a good eternal life. The proof is that he has given us Blessings and spouses from which there will be millions of offspring. All of us will go to the same spirit world -- not different spirit worlds as has happened throughout man's history.
How much do we love Father? This is the question each individual should ask himself. How much do we believe in Father? Science has advanced quickly because of our ability to maintain objectivity. We want proof before we open ourselves up to accepting others' words. This is a virtue of America, but it is also a block to our enlightenment. Americans have been taught to be cautious, especially intellectually. We respect intelligence and reason over emotion because emotion can very easily mislead. But intelligence alone can never enable us to realize the true meaning of human life. Only highly developed emotion and intelligence together can make us complete. Over and over, we try to listen to Father intellectually, but not so much emotionally. Therefore, our ability to understand progresses very slowly. No matter how many words Father is giving, they just do not take root in us. What Father has sowed in us must start blooming. Then we can begin to really understand Father's heart, and along with that, the meaning of his words.
For 10 or 20 years Father came to Belvedere every Sunday for sermons or conferences. We thought this would continue on and on until we got old and Father got old, though Father said, "Don't think that I am going to speak to you like this forever and ever. One day you won't see me, and you will need me to speak like this, but I won't be available for that." Now the time has come; Father said today, "This may be just about the end of it." And you still do not understand what that means.
Thirty years ago, when Father spoke in Korea 10, 12 hours all throughout the night and all throughout 10 years, he told us, "Very soon I may not be doing this; I cannot do this all the time." Sure enough, after True Parents' wedding in 1960, we could no longer listen to Father throughout the night.
It was so desperate spiritually at that time. Father said there was not even one sparkle of light. And that's exactly how I felt -- as if there was no light whatsoever. Don't think the way Father spoke then was the way he speaks now: confidently, relaxed, scolding, serious, but organized. No. Father spoke out of his guts and from the desolate blackness of the spirit world. Father was desperately reaching out to us, spitting out the words. He was planting the seeds over and over again in the barren sand. Nobody knew what kind of fruit would grow, not even Father. Of course he was hoping it would bear fruit, but not even Father was sure.
Understanding his words was so strenuous then. Listening all night was very tiring. We received a lot of what he said, but we were dozing off a lot, too. Yet the members who were there eight or nine years learned a great deal. These are the Korean leaders. They understand far more deeply than they can express.
Our early church was so poor. We had nothing to eat. Rice was our staple, but we often ran out of rice, and there was nothing to make kimchi out of. Then around the time Father stopped speaking all night he said, "God will bless us with material." Indeed our movement did start to become materially blessed. At that time, as now, Father used the money for public projects and never wasted even one penny. Even Father's pants are jersey pants that don't wrinkle so much. Except at formal times, Father never dresses in as good quality of clothes as he has bought for me. One of his relatives nicknamed Father "Stingy" because he does not spend any money on himself, nor does he waste any money. Yet, Father spends so generously for public events.
I want you to understand that Father spoke to the Korean members quite differently. It was pitch-dark then, but this present time is bright. We can more easily recognize the value of each other and of Father's words because the world is lighter. Still we don't know how to receive the fullest value of Father's words. How many of us truly feel that we would not exchange anything -- a million dollars -- for Father's words? How many of us feel Father's words are really that precious? Or are we still waiting for Father to give us more words to enlighten us?
We must stop waiting. The cause of our not understanding Father's words comes first from our improper attitude, and second, from our lack of seriousness. If we had been truly serious, then we would have a much better understanding now. Father has been so serious. All throughout this time we have felt "I have Father so I have nothing to worry about." In a way, this is good. In other ways, this is very bad, because it means that Father is the only person on earth who is truly worried about mankind. He desperately needs at least a second person to worry about mankind with him.
My conclusion is we must learn to utilize Father's words. Father gave us ten incredible points today. We should regain our excitement about knowing the truth. Understanding is conceptual and is necessary before we can take concrete action. We have to clearly understand the Principle and all that Father has expounded on the Principle before we can start acting effectively.
But that is not enough. For us to motivate ourselves, we must really love Father. In order to love Father, we have to be willing to give up everything else. We have to completely give up our old style of life, cutting off any longing for the old days of boyfriends or girlfriends. Unless we feel, "I can give up my life and the lives of my beloved ones, but I cannot give up Father," I don't think we can be completely one with Father. We talk often of becoming "one with Father," but what does that mean? It means to love him so deeply that we often have the heartistic experience of bursting into tears because we miss Father. We should want to console him that much.
The way Father has been living is so completely for the Will of God that we could not imitate it for one day. What's the use if what I am saying is impossible? It may seem impossible, but the only hope we have is to become completely one with Father. Set a goal: "Yes, I want to be like Father." Determine to overcome and never return to your old way of life; then take Father's way of life as your way of life once and for all. Only by doing this, can we gain the full meaning from Father's words, and motivate ourselves toward the goal Father has been pursuing all of his life.
From this point on, we are pretty much on our own. No central figure has to tell us to do this or don't do that. God is looking down on us and knows everything that is happening. Whenever we speak to God, He listens 100 percent even though He may not answer. You may think, "Who me? I'm so sinful. I'm not even a leader." Not true. God and Father pay a great deal of attention for they take Unification Church members so seriously.
When Father had about two thousand Korean members, he heard each of them confess their life. Father remembers every one of them: name, birthdate, birthplace, all particular highlights and personal information -- his memory is just incredible! Years later when he meets one of those people, Father remembers more vividly than that individual does. Once someone asked Father, "How could you remember all of that?" Father answered: "That's how serious I was. When you're dead serious, you don't forget. When you're not serious, you forget." That's how serious Father is, and he takes each member very seriously. The member may leave for some reason. Maybe he feels he is not worthy, that he can never be the son of God and True Parents -- but that is his portion of responsibility. God can't do anything about that; Father can't do anything about it, though he tries.
So we really must develop a completely different attitude -- a more serious attitude when Father speaks to us or, if those days are gone, while reading Father's words. Father literally gave us everything. At a later time, we will discover one by one how valuable each word is. Let us really love Father. We don't have to say, "I love you Father." Like God, Father knows when he is loved.
When I walk into Father's dining room, all he has to do is cast one glimpse at me and he can tell all about me better than I can. The conclusion: Father is not an ordinary person. I'd be a hypocrite if I said, "Looking at Father I could immediately tell that he was much greater than me." Absolutely not! Only through millions of experiences in my 30 years of being beside him, during which I had no choice but to observe him, my clear conclusion simply is: Father is like God.
And we are supposed to be like him -- that's the big challenge. Father has been teaching us to reach that goal. Are we like that? The only way to achieve that goal is to love him more than anything else. That's why Jesus said, "Whoever does not love me more than anything else in the world, is not worthy of me." How many people in the Christian world understand? How many Unification Church members understand these words in more than just a conceptual way? While interpreting for Father I have always thought that there was a tremendous gap between what Father is trying to instill in us and the way we receive it because we aren't one in heart with Father.
How many times has Father tried to pull us up to our proper position? I'm talking about the historical position each of us is to have as inheritors, sons and daughters, of the True Parents. We could lose that 10 times a day if it were not for Father. Through his indemnity, our position has been maintained. Do we know that? Only vaguely.
This is really sad. Now I am sharing with you clearly. God chose us and brought us here, but we consistently failed. If it weren't for Father, we could never stay where we are. We are completely indebted to Father. That in itself is reason enough for us to love him very much.
True Parents are definitely more precious and have done more for us than anyone else. This dispensational work didn't happen with Father being just a willing participant. Please realize how much Father initiated to accomplish this dispensation and how much was God's prompting. I don't pretend to know everything, but I can tell you that Father originated a large part of it himself, then dedicated it to God. That's what we have to do from this point on.
Let us not wait for anything more from Father. Father has done enough for us. Now we should originate his words in our lives. Think about the parable of the master giving money: one did business with the money and it multiplied, while the other just buried it. We have been given so much "gold" -- i.e., Father's words. How much fruit we are going to bear is up to us. If we bury the words as treasure in a secret place and do nothing with them, then we will not have any results 10 years from now.
In the last few months, Father has reorganized his whole thought and given it to us again. We know it's precious, but we have yet to realize exactly how precious. It takes many years of experience of listening to Father to understand how valuable his words are. This is my conclusion. I think God helped me to understand this, not for my own sake, but to give to you, so that we and the world can benefit.
We have the words of God as our tremendous tangible assets. We have to respect each other, stimulate each other, and always pray together so we can work toward our common goal. If we seriously understand, love, and become one with our True Parents, we will automatically have the right attitudes and views toward Cain and Abel, and all members, old and young. Please be diligent about taking Father's words seriously and motivating ourselves.
So when we shout "Mansei" for Father, don't do it ritualistically. Do it out of your own feeling and confidence. If you don't feel that power well up in you, watch and learn how others gained that power through understanding Father's words. The only way to do that is by loving Father.
I wanted to share with you about taking Father's words seriously. Let us not disappoint Father. Whether they be small or large, let us bring good results. Don't underestimate yourselves. Be audacious and bold representing True Parents! God will never punish you for that. Thank you.