Coming Full Circle Part 1

James W. Kovic
January 2008

It should come as no surprise to you that the period in my life after Makiko left the church and me was the most emotionally distressing thing I'd ever gone through in my life. But what was really strange was that I was tipped off that it was going to happen one month in advance. And so what did that mean? That it was supposed to happen?

Oh, no! I wasn't about to accept that. If there has been one thing that I have never been able to accept in my life is predestination. Forget it. It just runs contrary to my free will.

For years I struggled with that dream and it didn't make any sense to me until I finally realized that Tamara, Makiko's higher self, is my sister. We are! We were born in the same family from the same parents but we're not originally from Earth. I'll explain more about this later. It's an interesting story to say the least.

So, Makiko and I are brother and sister. And so prior to the two of us incarnating on Earth we worked out a plan in which we would first meet each other in New York at this matching ceremony and of course get married but that was it until about 23 years later when we would meet again and work together on writing "Tamara's Journey". But I didn't realize this until after writing the book.

In the meantime, there I was in 1983 following the tuna season with two tuna landings and a whole lot of heartache. I tore to shreds every photo of her that I had since meeting her. I couldn't deal with the feelings from the memories that looking at her picture elicited. It was too much for me to handle so I tried my best to eliminate her completely from my life and go forward.

Now, from here I'm going to, for the sake of time, fast forward four years to March 1987. That's when the church had it's next matching ceremony in New York City again. Believe me when I tell you that a lot of water had gone under the bridge during those four years. So much happened to me emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically that I kept a diary and wrote about it almost daily. Perhaps some day I'll share that diary with you here on this site. There's so much stuff that went on inside of me that's it's staggering.

By that time I was 28 years old. I had worked in a church organization called Ocean Church since Gloucester in a couple of cities in the United States. Most notably was the time I spent in Seattle, Washington. Beautiful city. The northwest United States is one of the greatest places to live. Seattle is located on the Puget Sound and surrounded by two mountain ranges. One mountain which is especially picturesque is Mount Rainier.

Have you ever seen photos of Mount Fuji in Japan? It's one lone volcano-created mountain that rises up from the surface over 14,000 feet. It's breathtakingly awesome. And the thing about Seattle which I'm sure you've heard a lot about is that it rains. But it doesn't just rain. It rains all winter long. But one cool thing about living in Seattle is that for a brief period there will be all of this extensive cloud cover that completely blankets the city. Mount Rainier is located off to the southeast, I believe. So, during the winter there'll be this thick mist that completely hides Mount Rainier. You can't see it and you wonder where the hell it is. Then one morning as you're walking toward downtown this mist parts like a curtain and the receding clouds reveal this totally awesome sight. This behemoth, this god-like snow-capped mountain appears before you like a miracle.

In upcoming articles I'm going to write some more about my experiences in Seattle and also Alaska where I worked in the Unification Church. Fundraising and church work? Not remotely. Interesting and fun? I'll let you be the judge of that when I tell my story.

Well, when I found out about the matching in New York in March of 1987 I flew out east to Manhattan. To my surprise, it ended up being very much like what I went through in 1982, that is until I met the woman whom I was rematched to.

We were all gathered together, men on the right side and women on the left, in the grand ballroom. One thing I had going for me was 20/20 hindsight. I'd been through this sort of thing before. And one thing I had promised to myself, that I had drilled into my brain unceasingly was that I was going to make sure that no matter what I was going to get matched to a woman who spoke English.

Boy was I wrong. From the time the matching started I was resolute. If Reverend Moon asked which one of you wants an oriental wife, I would stand my ground and not volunteer. Now, about the time following the matchings that had already taken place to Seminarians, to missionaries, and other members of high standing, I was in the middle of hundreds of other men and it was so hot and stuffy in that ballroom. I was finding it very hard to even breathe for God's sake.

So when the call went up by Reverend Moon's translator, Bo Hi Pak, for men who wanted oriental wives I honestly took advantage of the opportunity as an excuse to get myself out of that pressure cooker.

So now, picture me standing in the front line of those who had placed themselves forward ready to be matched to their betrothed by Reverend Moon. This was it. This wasn't what I really wanted. I had for the last four years told myself again and again that I wasn't going to let myself be put in a circumstance in which I would be matched to a woman who didn't speak English.

Okay, I know what you read in parts 4, 5 and 6 about Makiko doing that "Way Of The Heart" ceremony with the four crystals. Sorry, it didn't happen that way. Not that I wouldn't have loved it to have worked out like that. I embellished the story a little to make it interesting. Anyway, you're dealing with an author here. I love to tell stories. But it didn't happen.

So now, I'm on the firing line. Within moments Reverend Moon is going to come marching my way, pick me out of line by my jacket lapels and decide my future. But I don't know what I want. Do I want to be matched with an oriental woman? What if it's another Japanese woman?

How about a Korean woman? Chinese? Naw, I never heard of any Chinese members. Well maybe one or two. And now I'm like totally infatuated with the oriental wife thing. There are other women out there besides Asian women, you know. In fact, there were some pretty attractive ones that I could see across the aisle.

So what do I want? I don't know. I came to the same dead end that I did five years ago. So this is what I did. I metaphorically threw up my arms, surrendered to God and said, "God, I don't know what I want. My life is in your hands. Let thy will be done."

At that moment as if on cue, Reverend Moon was briskly walking up toward me at ramming speed. He grabbed the lapels on my jacket, pulled me out of line toward the front of the ballroom where he brought me together again very unceremoniously with a young oriental woman.

She had very long dark hair, skinny face. I couldn't believe how beautiful she was. We were roughly the same height. I wasn't towering over her as it was between me and Makiko. Well, after doing our full bow to True Parent's throne in front, we proceeded up the staircase to the upper level. The first thing I did was ask her if she was Korean.

Then she replied in almost perfect English, "No, I'm Chinese."

From that moment I realized that not only was I matched to Chinese woman but she also was fluent in English. When we approached those people who were helping to translate for couples who didn't speak each other's language, we graciously and happily declined. We headed right for the cafeteria where we sat down to talk over a ginseng up.

Her name was Hong-Yu Wang. She was originally from Beijing, China but she had come here to America after her graduate studies in Astronomy to pursue her masters degree. It was clear to me that she was very highly educated whereas I hadn't even gotten my high school diploma yet. To be honest, I had a hard time remembering her name for the first week or so. That proved to be a little embarrassing at times but it wasn't so bad.

So, once we agreed to go through with this, we signed the register and went downstairs. She had some friends of hers in CARP that she wanted to wait around for to see who they got matched to. To tell you the truth, all of this had just about wiped me out and it wasn't long before I said goodnight to her and got some rest.