The Words of the Miyaki Family
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The Words of the Miyaki Family |
Preparing for college, I reminded myself of a quote In Jin Nim once shared, "A life of faith is not easy. It takes constant discipline, constant dedication, but most of all, constant evaluation and constant desire for betterment. Without that, you will spiritually die." After three years of STF (now GPA), I believed I could overcome anything. However, I underestimated the struggles beyond the structure of STF.
There came a point where I couldn't find God, I couldn't find purpose; and I couldn't understand my value as a son of God. For many nights I would question the purpose of going to school. Why is school necessary? Why do I have to study economics? Who cares about business ethics? All of these doubts were overwhelming. I soon lost touch of the purpose of attending college. I spent many nights outside, praying, asking God for a sign, a plea of sympathy, or even just a friend to listen to me. I was struggling with my lack of faith.
Finally, after a sermon given by Aunt Heather Thalheimer, everything became clear. On the Sunday of October 31st, Mrs. Thalheimer explained the reasons for change in church, "But we need to flow with the times because although the message is eternal and unchanging, the medium is contemporary." Although she was referring to the church's changes, I applied her words to my experiences studying. Thus, I started to reflect about my experiences on GPA.
I realized that GPA became preparation for life after GPA. I began recalling the first experiences of fundraising, where I questioned the purpose of fundraising every day. Why do I have to fundraise? Are we just out here to make money? Why is fundraising so valuable? I lacked a lot of faith, unable to trust God in the most difficult circumstances. Through Aunt Heather's sermon however, I understood that my purpose was always present. I am here to develop a personal relationship with God and True Parents (by becoming a true object of God). However, although the medium was different, the purpose was the same. I wasn't fundraising anymore, but attending school. Yet through attending school, I can become closer to God and True Parents.
After much reflection, I understood the value of internal and external goals set daily when fundraising. The more I challenged myself externally, the more I had to challenge myself internally. The more I wanted to maintain a 4.0 GPA, the harder I had to work and overcome myself. Yet, I knew that I had to overcome myself with the right heart. That through every hour I studied, every grade I received, and every paper I wrote, my heart would remain consistent toward God and True Parents. I didn't want to complain nor be complacent with my current situation. Experiences in life, whether it is school or fundraising, then became purposeful because they no longer were reasons for coming short, but opportunities to grow stronger for God and True Parents. It all became about having faith in the growing process.
In Jin Nim definitely understands the challenges behind a life a faith. As she shares with us every Sunday, we have to always remember that we are in the growing process. A life of faith does require constant discipline, constant dedication, and constant desire to improve. Most importantly, we desire to build our life of faith simply because we love God and True Parents. In the case of a university student, our chance to build our lives of faith is through school. I always refer back to a story Jin Sung Nim shared with GPA. He shared a story of how he was preparing for his BAR exam, studying for 16 hours a day. Later on, he mentioned to True Father the hours he has spent studying. In response, Father affirmed his hard work and told Jin Sung Nim that He prayed 16 hours a day, so that we, second generation, don't have to. Instead, our responsibility is to dedicate our time and efforts to our studies, so that we become excellent students.
Yet, Father expects more from us as students. According to His autobiography, the excellence in our studies must be contributed to the rest of the world. When we can appreciate the heart of True Parents, we can understand the potential in which God has placed in each and every one of us. That potential can be translated through our efforts in school. Our studies have deeper meaning than we actually know.
Every day, I carry a picture of True Parents along with my Driver's License and Chase debit card. And every time I look at it, I know that there's a reason to love my life. When I can reflect about the heart and love True Family has transferred unto my family, I can feel gratitude spreading throughout my body. The way that I can continue to grow closer to God and True Parents is through the small things. At home, I always greet my mom with a hug. At school, whenever I catch myself inattentive and unfocused, I raise my hand and participate in class. After classes, I catch up with my professors in order to gain a sense of progression. And while working out, I put a picture of True Parents next to Shaun T (Insanity workout) to remind myself, life isn't about me, but about God and True Parents and what they represent. The small things we practice every day are essential to the lifestyle we hope to create. As we continue throughout the school year, I will remember one of Father's greatest prayers, "Let me sacrifice myself for these people, and let these people sacrifice themselves for the rest of the world."
I will always know that there will be challenges, whether it is school, family, or life of faith; however, Father has always taught me that we can always grow from any situation. School's challenging, yet we have every opportunity to grow from it.