Birth and Rebirth

Beatrice Yoshioka
July 2008

Here is my story. It all started in 1997, the year I went to Chung Pyung for the first time. After returning to Japan returning Japan from Chung Pyung. I felt the desire to make a new start in my life of faith. A couple of months later, Mrs. Oyamada, wife of the then Japanese church president, invited my husband and me to see a Korean spiritualist who was working in Japan. The spiritualist asked me what I wanted to know. I replied, "I want to know God's will for me." She answered, "God's wish for you is to have a baby boy!"

Her answer was like a curse on me.

I wanted to do God's will, not have a fourth child. It was not what I had come to ask for. I had wanted to hear that God's will for me was to go somewhere and do mission work. Besides, what guarantee did I have that my fourth child would be a boy? My heart was broken.

In March 1999, I moved from Japan to the U.S. with our three daughters. For the sake of his job, my husband stayed in Japan, though he visited occasionally. At that point, my husband and I both felt we should have a fourth child. I felt that time was passing by and that we should have this baby before the end of 2000. Well, God truly hears our prayers! At the end of 1999, I became pregnant. At the first ultrasound test, the doctor told me it was a boy. Joy overwhelmed my heart, but that joy was short-lived. The doctor looked at the screen for a long time. After a while, a professor came and told me he wanted to talk to me. Obviously, there was something wrong with the baby. According to the doctors, our unborn baby was suffering from a congenital diaphragmatic hernia. Since I was only eleven weeks pregnant, they could not tell whether the baby's lungs would he able to develop.

On that same day, a doctor showed me the N.I.C.U. (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). He told me what the baby would face at birth. Our baby could have brain damaged because of a lack of oxygen during the birth. He might need oxygen support for life. His lungs might not develop. He would have to undergo surgery at birth.

He didn't make any hopeful statement about what we were facing. The doctors also told me that I could terminate the pregnancy for medical reasons, in which case I only had two weeks to decide.

I came back home in tears, unable to think properly. I called all the friends that I knew -- Mormons, Muslims, Christians -- to ask for their prayer support. I thought prayer was our only hope.

My husband and I decided not to keep the baby. We didn't want to take the risk of giving birth to an abnormal child. Friends and neighbors gave us all manner of advice, to the point that I could not listen anymore. I wanted to have a clear mind about the decision we had made. Terminating the pregnancy was my option. I was too afraid of having a disabled child. When I reported my intention to our church pastor, Catherine Ono, she suggested I go to Chung Pyung and discuss it with Dae Mo Nim. As for me, I thought," Why bother? I am not that good. I haven't done that much for God's providence; I should not use up Dae Mo Nim's time."

Never-the-less, since I had asked my central figure's help, I felt I should follow her advice. We e-mailed the Chung Pyung training center the next day. The answer from Mrs. Richardson, then responsible for Western members, was that if I wanted help, I should come to Chung Pyung quickly.

Two days later, I was on an airplane heading for Korea. On my arrival, a dear French sister, Colette, helped me find my way to Chung Pyung from the airport. God truly worked through her to calm me; not knowing whether it was right for me to ask Dae Mo Nim's help. I was full of tears.

When I arrived at the training center, staff members asked me if I had come for two days, ten days or forty days. I could not answer their questions. I was there because I was bearing a child, and I wanted to be sure that his life would be in God's hands. Unable to make any decision on my own, I was there to get a clear answer. I had left my three daughters in the US; my husband was in Japan. I was ready for anything. Some people had told me it was my fate to have a handicapped child; some said I would not be able to see Dae Mo Nim; others predicted I would have to stay in Chung Pyung for forty days. My life was in turmoil. I needed peace and reassurance. I was ready to be patient and stay in Chung Pyung for a long time if that would guarantee my child would be healthy. God knew I was determined to find a solution.

I was put in the Western forty-day- workshop group. I decided to remain faithful, but at the same time I was worried about my other three children -- eleven, seven and five years old -- left under the care of Hon-san, a dear Japanese missionary sister.

The next day, because I had not paid the fee for my stay yet; I was going to the office when Mrs. Richardson stopped me and told me that Dae Mo Nim wanted to see me. "When?" I asked. "Right now!" I burst into tears but faithfully followed her to Dae Mo Nim's room. As soon as I entered, Dae Mo Nim asked me, "Why are you crying?" I told her my worries. She urged me to stop crying, and then immediately started ansuing my body. She said, "You came here very fast." I didn't have to say anything. She knew already what I was going through. I was amazed. She did a little more ansu. After a while, she asked me if I felt anything. I hadn't. Actually, I am not very spiritual; I am more a believer type. She told me that very big, very dark spirits had come out of my womb. I had not felt anything. Those bad spirits were destroying my baby's abdomen.

Dae Mo Nim told me that I would be fine and my baby would, too. When I asked her if I should stay longer in Chung Pyung, she told me I could go home. I left her room internally free All my worries and my fears were gone.

I felt an open sky over my head. I felt peace, joy and gratitude. From that day on, I relied only on what Dae Mo Nim had said. The baby would be well. I felt like a person whom. When I reported my experience to my husband on the phone, he trusted me completely.

From that day on, life was different. The baby still needed to have surgery at birth but his chances of survival were greatly increased. The doctors didn't understand my trip to Chung Pyung, however, when the baby was in the NICU, I put True Parents' and Dae Mo Nim's pictures in his crib, even though -- even to me -- it looked a bit fanatical. Isaac staved in N.I.C.U for three weeks. the doctors were amazed at the speed of his recovery. I knew Dae Mo Nim and Chung Pyung had made the difference.

I had gone to Chung Pyung clear about what I wanted and had been ready to do anything for the sake of my baby's well-being. Chung Pyung for me is the place where Dae Mo Nim shows the path of healing physically and spiritually. It is also the place I made up my mind to renew my spiritual life. After I came back home, I changed my lifestyle in terms of prayer and spiritual conditions.

Wow! Miracles do happen. Isaac came out of the hospital and was under medical supervision for two years. He had another operation when he was eighteen months old. All this time, I have remembered what Dae Mo Nim said. I truly felt he was protected. Since returning from Chung Pyung, I also maintained daily Hoon Dok Hae with my children.

Since then, Isaac has never had to see the doctor again. He is now in the first grade of elementary school. I am grateful to Dae Mo Nim for giving me vision, a new direction and strength in my life and to all the brothers and sisters who prayed for us and made this journey with God possible. Chung Pyung is the very place where I could experience rebirth. It is a place to start on a new course with God and True Parents. The new conditions I made after I returned home have also helped me to become a new person.