The Words of the Drenicheva Family
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The Words of the Drenicheva Family |
Elizaveta Drenicheva was freed from prison on March 11 this year. Soon afterward, she came to Chung Pyung to attend a forty-day workshop. During that time, she spoke with us about her work in Kazakhstan and about her mind-set while incarcerated in a district prison in Almaty. Liza's testimony includes her insights into aspects of the Principle that can sustain us in times of difficulty.
First of all I would like to express gratitude to all those who prayed for me while I was in prison and showed their support and care during those days and trials. I understand that True Parents and elder members have experienced more severe situations. That is why I feel deep gratitude that I could share to some degree the heart of God, True Parents and elder brothers and sisters.
I don't feel self-pity over this experience; on the contrary, it was a very precious experience for me. In this way we become the object of God's heart and make conditions for the world, for the country, for witnessing.
I joined at the end of 1995 when I was seventeen. I am from Moscow, and it was the time of transition in Russia from communism to a more open society; many people were looking for God, or for a philosophy. I had also looked at other religions, but I could not find clear answers.
When I met my spiritual mother, who is Japanese, I was headstrong; if she had been Russian, I would have argued with her. But she could just say "Hello. Are these questions interesting?" So, I just followed her to the witnessing center. My parents did not believe in God. When I decided to go for a forty-day workshop, my mother wondered what I was doing. She attended a one-day workshop, because she wanted to know what I was getting into. She was well taken care of, and she said that what we teach are ideas she already knows and agrees with. After finishing school I became a full time member.
Having to make personal decisions gives us the chance to take responsibility for our actions. My coming to Kazakhstan was the same; it was my decision. Our leader in Russia offered me the chance to go, and I said yes.
What has helped me to grow and overcome myself in the course of my life, is my public mission. By taking responsibility, I could change myself a lot. For example, when I accepted leadership of forty-days of "actionizing," it was a challenge, but I learned that when you have trust and just act, God works. After a while I looked back and understood that I had changed a lot, had a new spirit and had overcame things that seemed impossible. By this I could see that God works miracles with us.
In Almaty, we have a church center and a Peace Embassy. Our Family Federation is legally incorporated in Kazakhstan, as are the Women's Federation and the International Educational Foundation. True Mother came to Kazakhstan during her 1999 world speaking tour.
Kazakhstan has the most beautiful mountains I have ever seen. If you drive an hour outside of Almaty, you are in a different world. Almaty is interracial, populated by Kazakhs, Russians, and even Koreans and Germans. The main languages are Russian and Kazakh; most people can understand Russian.
I arrived in Kazakhstan at the end of 2005. Our greatest desire was to lay conditions to benefit the country. The best condition would be witnessing, so we sincerely focused on that. The first day we went witnessing, we met a sister who joined right away. She was a very interesting person, a contrarian. When we witnessed to the group she was with and invited them to come to hear a lecture, everyone else in her group said no -- but she said yes. She joined our church.
It is amazing how God has been guiding people to join. We have been able to clearly see the work of Heavenly Father and the spirit world through witnessing.
Another sister came to our center. After listening to just four lectures, we suggested she join a Divine Principle workshop in Russia for twenty-one days. This she did, after which she became a full-time member. One brother was very excited by the lectures. He felt God had called him to save the world. He shaved his head to show his commitment and determination. He also became a full-time member.
Over almost three years, twelve members joined and most became full-time members. However, it was not the number of people that joined that moved me, but the fact that they were not afraid to face persecution for being a member of the Unification Church. I was moved by the heart and attitude shown by those to whom we introduced the Divine Principle. This gave me a lot of power to continue investing myself.
We had been witnessing on the street and inviting people to a thirty-minute introductory lecture and then to a one- day Principle workshop on Sunday. Our introductory lecture was an overview of the entire Divine Principle. The presentation on the Fall most inspired our guests.
We explained the root of sin and the significance of the illicit sexual relationship. One person wanted to join immediately after hearing it.
We had held Divine Principle seminars, organized a local actionizing program and set up a mobile fund-raising team. Many of those coming to us were still students, so we organized CARP activities for them to participate in.
People could also attend a twenty-one-day seminar; and if they wanted to, they could stay in one of our centers with us and thus become full-time members. Students who were busy going to school could join us during their summer vacation, when we held workshops. They could also join through the student center, which we have for our student members. The leader overseeing the student members in their center is a full-time member. We work together a lot.
I lived with other full-time members in the witnessing center. On weekends, we all got together to play games, or went sledding in winter. We've had many exciting, joyful times. Once, we all created a skit from the Korean Shim Chung story. It was such a good experience to prepare this together because everyone was very sincere. We did it in Korean with Korean costumes and music. We hoped the vice-regional director (a Korean) would visit, which he did a year later. He was moved and always thereafter remembered this performance and reminded us of it when he visited us. I think God really can work when we make effort to attend God, True Parents and our central figure.
On July 2, 2008, a KNB team came to the center to search it. The same day, they arrested me for the first time with the intention of holding me until their case was clarified. They said I had been arrested for teaching the Divine Principle, which they said looked at people as not having equal status. After two days, the main judge determined that there was no need for me to stay any longer, so I was released and told not to leave the city.
In the beginning, I couldn't understand what they thought we had done wrong and what the point was of this whole big court case. I didn't see any substantial reason for fear. In the back of my mind, I wondered if Heavenly Father was having us go through the experience to set a necessary condition, or to lay a necessary foundation.
From July, though we had stopped witnessing, we held Divine Principle seminars as a condition to protect our church in Kazakhstan. Each member reflected on his or her motivation during that time and on what each was willing to bear. We were all young members. We felt a great responsibility on our shoulders. We felt we had to take care of ourselves as well as take care of the situation. I am speaking especially of the native Kazakhstani members, whom I feel grew very much through this situation. At the same time we felt exited by going through some difficulties and also felt hope for a happy ending because True Parents' helicopter accident that same month had had a happy ending.
As my court case approached, members prepared documents to support a petition on my behalf. They worked so hard, not just because of me but because they had the heartfelt desire to protect True Parents and the movement in Kazakhstan. These young members went through many challenges, because they had to explain the court case to their parents and the difficulties the movement was going through. It was not easy for them at all. I was moved by their faith and dedication.
The trial began in October, and when it ended, the verdict was announced on national television. I had borrowed another sister's coat. The television camera showed my hands in handcuffs. The parents of the girl whose coat I was wearing recognized their daughter's coat. They thought their daughter was being sentenced to a prison term. When everything had been explained to her parents, I was surprised at how encouraging and supportive they were.
Even no the Kazakhstani members still have to deal with challenges related to the court case on a daily basis, so I feel they are the real heroes.
In prison, all my feelings and experiences were connected to Father's course.
I wanted to follow Father's example and keep the kingdom of heaven in my mind. Jesus said, "The kingdom of heaven is within you." Even though I was in prison, I could feel I was an owner of the heavenly kingdom. God is always with me in my heart. I am inviting God into my day, to be with me. Thus, I am the creator of the kingdom of heaven.
Although they took away most of our personal belongings, I had a small book with notes from what Father had said at Hoon Dok Hae, which supported, inspired and motivated me. Reading this was like a deep breath of air for my spirit.
I tried to keep up my spirits. I understood that the way I responded to the situation would influence brothers and sisters. I felt I needed to be very strong. I made an internal goal for each day. I read Father's speeches, and to keep my connection with God and True Parents I set conditions by (for example) taking cold showers.
I felt God working. Even in the prison God could find the way to guide me. I prayed a lot and received answers and spiritual support from God. I felt God in the people around me. When I first came into prison, I worried about my family and the members. A lady in the cell told me that the most important thing is your mind-set, your mentality. You should take care of yourself and find something you derive joy from and can share with others. She said, "Correct your mind-set first, and then other peoples' mind-sets will also change. Those who are close to you will feel that." I was shocked! Although it came from a prisoner, she was speaking the Principle, like something Father would say. I was very familiar with this idea. So I tried to find some joy. I united with and supported the national leader, and cooperated with my lawyer. At one point, both of them got sick. I felt I had to make more conditions to support them in their hard work to support me. They were guiding me, one internally and one externally.
In prayer, I felt the situation was not easy for Heavenly Father, so I prayed that I could quickly get out of prison so that I could serve God better and the providence more. I also prayed to keep up my spiritual life and to go beyond myself in loving other people in the prison. I received the part of Won Pil Kim's book, Father's Course and Our Life of Faith, that explains Father's motivation while he was in prison. It gave me a lot of insights and spiritual support. Father explained why he needed to take care of himself -- body and soul. He also had a fighting spirit to survive in Hungnam.
That strongly motivated me, so I tried to do what Father had done. Most important was asking God what he wanted me to do, rather than my just doing what I wanted to do. Although I understood that many people were supporting me, hoping I would come out and working hard for my release, what was most important was that I find my own motivation to get out. Perhaps there are cases where people are working for someone's release, but that prisoner herself has already given up. I felt I must fight for the motivation to get out and to support those who were working on my behalf. I saw that I had a choice -- either I could be completely compliant in going to prison, or I could fight internally and prepare myself for the situation to change, so I could get out and do something good for God. I chose the latter way.
What motivated me to get through the day was practicing the Principle. When Father was in Danbury for example, he thought about how to save the country, and he worked on menial tasks, such as cleaning the bathrooms and the dining room tables. I wanted to inherit such a heart and attitude. I tried to clean things that were dirty to fix things that needed fixing, to make things look nicer, and to do something for others. This symbolized my investment toward dominating all things. I gave massages to my fellow inmates. When you do even physical, external things for others, you can also talk to them about God.
Everybody knew why I was there. So, very naturally I could talk with them about God. I would first try to serve people and then talk about spiritual matters. People were wondering why I was in prison. When they asked me what I had been convicted of, I could explain that the Unification Church is a new church that is generally based on Christianity but gives a more detailed explanation of some parts of the Bible. As an example,
I explained the Fall, which is something I could speak about very easily and they could all accept. They could relate to this and other points easily and understand them through their lives. But the most interesting thing was that every day I felt I had to start anew. Even if by the end of the day, everybody seemed happy, the next morning everyone would feel very heavy, and I would feel I had to begin again.
Until my final days inside, I could not feel the substantial accumulation of the result of the investment. I invested over many days without expecting anything to come back. When I was released, I saw the Principle had been at work when a fellow lady prisoner said, "Now I will believe that God exists." Through her I met God. In prison I could understand God's heart more closely. I had heard that "hell is like a prison for the spiritual self," but because I didn't know the reality of prison, it was difficult for me to understand the reality of hell. But when I saw this reality I thought, "God, if only these people could have known the Principle before they came here, their lives could have been very different!"
Through my mom, also, I understood a lot. Throughout the trial and imprisonment period, my mother did not live a normal life. She just persevered and survived that time, in survival mode. She was worried only about me, but Heavenly Father had many more children, and some in more terrible situations. They don't even know that someone loves them so much and is waiting for them.
I realized, analyzing my behavior, how easy it is to judge or blame other people. I also understood that any injustice can be overcome if we live in accordance with the motto Love your enemy. Forgiveness is the first, but sometimes the most difficult, step in love. After taking time to reflect, I could see this nature within myself, and I resolved to overcome this and not judge other people anymore.
I tried to practice these principles for life from Father, and I will try to continue doing so in the future:
Before you seek to dominate the universe, dominate yourself (one's own mind-set is very important)
Father was always willing to sacrifice himself rather than ask others to do so. This is his lifestyle, one of taking responsibility and making up for other people's shortcomings.
Don't lose your internal principles no matter what the external situation. In prison you are tested on how much you can keep your internal principles, and your internal standard. If you can do so, others recognize and respect that.
If I am giving, investing, I am not losing anything.
Among the prisoners, it was important not to complain and not to be proud of one's own accomplishments -- what one had done in the past. Most important is what you are going to do today, and tomorrow.
Start every day from zero (make a new beginning)
Although I was released, the situation in Kazakhstan is still intense. The brothers and sisters there cannot engage in any activities. Although I am free, God's heart is not yet free in Kazakhstan. In many countries, it is not so easy to work and advance God's providence. This is painful.
A prison is a big place where each person is locked in a cell. Perhaps God sees countries as cells, and the people as locked away from each other. If we could break through in witnessing, we could liberate God's heart and bring Him joy. I wish for such a breakthrough in every country, but my heart is especially with Kazakhstan, and I hope it becomes possible for me to continue my work there.
Dae Mo Nim explained that this is an era of great blessing. She has been making many conditions for the work at Chung Pyung. She is directly guiding the good spirits to support witnessing everywhere. I hope this time of grace and blessing will bear fruit in witnessing results. I wish this for all countries, but of course, I pray that this grace can come especially to Kazakhstan.
By coming to Chung Pyung, I feel I am making a condition to liberate God's heart and support witnessing in every country all over the world.