The Words of the Ohnuki Family
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The Words of the Ohnuki Family |
On October 7, 1982, when I left for our homeland Korea, I never expected such a total embrace of True Parents' love or the depth of God's love. I had never even dreamt that such an experience could happen to me.
Although my words are inadequate to express my heart of gratitude, I would like to give you my testimony of those special days in Korea.
Before leaving for Korea, it was such a task to prepare my heart adequately. When I was in my second year of high school I had met the Unification Church, heard the Divine Principle and joined. From that time I vaguely thought that if I ever received the Blessing, I would like to be blessed with a Korean brother. Since four years ago, I have had the opportunity to welcome the early Korean disciples and serve them several times. Through my prayer I felt very strongly that I wanted to console Heavenly Father by serving the Korean people who had really sacrificed their lives for the sake of God's will. I determined to devote my entire lifetime to consoling Heavenly Father, so since that time 1 expected to receive the Blessing with a Korean brother.
Though this was my long-time expectation, my desire was rejected one week before going to Korea due to my ill health. Therefore, that night I was praying very deeply, and as we say in Japan, "A new Word was opened before me." In this moment of revelation, I could understand that True Father wanted to form a new heavenly tribe and a true nation through this Blessing, so the person given by True Father through the matching and blessing belongs to the heavenly sphere, that is, in God's dominion. In this way, I came to realize that it's so strange if I stick to my own idea of marrying only a Korean person.
Now I could see that I should remove the national boundary in my mind, and prepare myself to receive whoever belongs to the heavenly sphere, whoever is given to me.
Then my heart changed, and I was willing to accept anyone for the sake of God and True Parents.
We arrived at the Su Taek Ri training center about 3:00 p.m. on October 7, had a short rest, and about 7:00 we heard Father's message; then we went out to the courtyard for the matching ceremony.
"It's as clear as a mirror of still water," says a Chinese simile, and surely my mind was like that. It was a strange state of mind for me, for I had no other thoughts; I just kept watching Father's gestures in order to keep my mind so perfectly clear.
During this time the person who would be chosen as my partner was sitting in the very rear area of the brothers' group.
He had already decided to trust absolutely Father's authority about selecting a partner for him, because he felt he had no qualification even to receive the blessing of salvation. For the last year he had been thinking about the depth of his sin.
Concerning the method Father might use to decide his spouse, he felt, "Even if Father decides to match beginning with the person in the front row and taking each one exactly as they appear in line from front to back, and even if I am the last one to be matched, it doesn't matter. Whatever Father decides to do is acceptable to me." While watching Father match one by one, he was sorry that it was taking the messiah so much time to do this, so he didn't really think it would matter if he received the matching soon or not; he really felt he would use the time to prepare his heart. That's why he was sitting so far back behind the lines of brothers.
I'm very grateful both of us could be share this common base of just being there, totally trusting Father, and offering ourselves completely.
Father finished matching the members of Sekai Nippo, who had to quickly catch a flight back to Tokyo to publish the next day's newspaper. Then about 30 to 40 sisters were called to the open aisle where Father stood, and I was one of them.
The brothers whom Father pointed out, stood up and came to the middle, Father divided the groups of brothers, and striding among them, he reached back to those in the very rear area and brought forward the one who would be my partner.
The brothers stood in a line parallel to us, and Father pointed out one brother. I was watching only Father, so I didn't even see whom Father had selected; however, something shining was coming towards me from Father, filling me with a mystical sensation -- I was engulfed by a confident, knowing feeling that Father was approaching me. Increasingly I knew Father was coming to me... closer, closer, closer.
And then my arm was pulled by Father.
Is it that Father matches by tracing the thread by which God had already linked our lives?
When we had made our three bows before True Mother, I caught a look in Mother's eyes which revealed that she had already known everything about me -- and I burst into tears.
We went to the place to register our names, and I was very surprised to see the name which my partner wrote Satoru Ohnuki; his family name is the same as mine! Unexpectedly I shouted, "Are you called Ohnuki-san? I'm also named Ohnuki!"
Maybe it's not possible for anyone to understand the contents of my testimony until they can understand something about the family tradition in Japan. It is most important that each family have a child to carry on the family name. If there is only a single daughter, it sometimes happens that the daughter s husband leaves his clan, in order to become the son and heir for his wife's parents, even changing his name to her family name.
In my family, my uncle on my mother's side had no children, so there was no heir. In order that the family of Ohnuki not come to an end, I became their stepdaughter during my first year of high school, and my name changed from Tamami Yamaguchi to Tamami Ohnuki. My stepfather and stepmother loved the name Ohnuki and respected their ancestors very much; so having such a father and mother, I always thought that it would be inevitable that my husband would become their heir.
However, becoming the daughter of True Parents means that we really become a sacrifice for God's purpose; and for me this meant such a painful cross to bear, to fail to honor my beloved adopted parents in this way. In my innermost heart, to join the church, to be the sacrifice was a terrible suffering.
The couples who had been matched left for the Inchon VOC Training Center that evening, so for several days we had the chance to stay there. Situated in the countryside, it's a beautiful place which reminds me of the Garden of Eden. Whenever I was talking with Ohnuki-san I had a longing feeling; although we had just met for the first time, we both experienced this feeling -- that we had been longing to see each other. It's like going to Korea for the first time -- you know it's our homeland, and you experience a feeling of nostalgia.
We expressed to each other how much we felt that Father is the very person who is one with God. Father is God -- manifested -- isn't he!
Until time for the Holy Wine Ceremony on October 13, we remained at in Inchon. During that time Father continued matching, standing, without enough time to rest. During my prayers, certain thoughts came from me, "Heavenly Father, do You want to give the Blessing to such people as us, through such sacrifice as Father is giving? I wish Father could rest more, yet he is sacrificing himself for our sake, for our eternal lives."
Through Father's example I came to realize deeply how great God's love is -- and I deeply felt the profound meaning of the word, "Parent." During the days till the Holy Wine Ceremony, my internal struggle also increased even while I felt longing every time I heard the word "fiance." At the same time I had some anxiety about becoming further from God, and these mixed feelings left me uneasy. That is why I felt such tension even though he was the person given by Father; such emotions made a base for Satan's accusations, and I continued struggling like this.
On the evening of the 11th, we talked about the paths of our lives; we both felt sadness because had been born into Satan's lineage and continually needed to confront and fight against our sinful nature.
It was with deep thanks to God that we could confirm our belief that the Blessing means our salvation…