The Words of the Tardy Family
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The Words of the Tardy Family |
In anticipation of the Universal Blessing Ceremony officiated by True Parents on October 14, 2009, Rev. In Jin Moon spent time on October 11 with twenty-one matched couples who would be taking part in the ceremony. Reverend Moon enlightened the group of Second Generation couples, “This is a very special time for all of you. You are embarking on a new journey.”
As each couple had been matched in advance, Rev. Moon shared with them, “I am very happy to hear that you’ve known each other for some time before you are going down this road.” She asked each couple to introduce themselves and share with her their various stories of how their matching came to be.
Numerous testimonies were given about how couples met each other and decided that it was their time to take part in the Blessing. Many couples described being introduced to each other by their respective sets of parents, who had known each other previously or met in various ways, including through a third party or at a matching convocation, where photos and information are made available to parents seeking matches for their children. Reverend Moon responded, “Do you know how incredible it is that your parents can participate in your blessing now? You guys are very lucky people!”
Many couples also mentioned the fact that they had communicated through the Internet before meeting face to face. With interest, Reverend Moon asked the group, “Is FaceBook how young people communicate with each other these days?” Everyone laughed together and nodded yes.
One husband-to-be who had recently bowed down to ask for his match’s hand in marriage in a public setting explained that he felt this was not his original personality, but the gradual and natural process of getting to know his match over time gave him this confidence that he never thought he would have. “Being together with her has inspired me. We both feel really excited and that God has made us to be together.”
Reverend Moon responded, “But it’s wonderful! It inspires us old fogeys to see young people looking forward to go to the Blessing, feeling the romance in the air.” With tears in her eyes, she reminded him, “You have to take care of each other.”
After each couple shared their story, the room was opened to anyone who had questions for Reverend Moon. When asked by one couple what has been the key to success in her own marriage of 25 years, she responded without any hesitation, “God.” She shared, “Romance is wonderful, and I would like that for all my kids. But first and foremost it has to be God.”
After sharing her personal experience of needing to turn to God as her anchor throughout her Blessing, Reverend Moon said, “Whenever you are having problems in your marriage, throw everything out and start from the beginning, start from scratch: ‘What is important to us as a couple? Why did we walk down the aisle together? Why did we decide to commit?’ Of course you care for each other, but you committed because you want to honor God and bring him joy. As long as you keep that attitude going in your relationship, then, no matter what, you can work things out.”
Reverend Moon gave other pieces of advice stemming from this question, including, “Do not take each other for granted.” She explained that even simple courtesies such as saying “Good morning” or “How are you?” can be forgotten in a relationship. “Always go back to the fundamentals and keep things simple,” she recommended.
The last piece of advice she gave for success in marriage was not to go to bed angry. “Every morning should be a brand new morning,” she explained. “No matter how difficult it is, go to bed loving each other or at least being a united couple.”
When asked about any other specific, yet practical, ways to practice God’s love in your relationship, Reverend Moon responded, “Humor. Sometimes you just need to laugh at the situation. This is incredibly important; don’t forget to laugh!”
When one bride-to-be shared about her concern of finding the right relationship with both her spouse and her in-laws, Reverend Moon shared, “Showing humility in a relationship can always be shown by being willing to listen. Listen to your husband, but also hopefully he will listen to you. Also communicate with your in-laws, regardless of how difficult it is.”
With the bride or groom many times being of different nationalities than the in-laws due to our international matches, Reverend Moon suggested, “Be mindful of common cultural things, but at the same time don’t only be your in-laws’ nationality. Be a true love family.”
Reverend Moon reminded the gathering that this is important for their future. “The role you define for yourself will ultimately color how your children are going to think they should be when they grow up. This is something you need to work out with your husband or wife. You are the ones showing the example.”
Reverend Moon also reminded the matched couples that love and passion are two different things. “Love is like a slow pot roast. It sort of percolates and can take a lot of time and work. However, if you keep at it, then you will have something genuine in life.”
Written by Celine Tardy