The Words of the Hsu Family
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The Words of the Hsu Family |
Left
to Right: Grace, Sung Bok Hsu, and Shinichi Sasaki
It has been about a year and a half since the last matching ceremony was held on March 27-28, 1987. I was fortunate enough to be among the participants. The experiences of that time were so intense that it would take a book to share all my feelings. So I would just like to share a few precious experiences I had.
Before the matching, I had never had any personal contact with our True Parents. I didn't know quite what to expect at the matching. Of course I was wondering about my future fiance, but I was also anticipating the special moment when I would meet True Parents for the first time. I could hardly believe it when I was able to sit with my group directly beside True Parents podium. When they entered the room, I knew I should bow my head, but I couldn't resist looking at True Parents for a moment first. When I saw them pass right in front of me, all of a sudden tears came flooding out from within me. They were uncontrollable, and I couldn't sort out all my emotions to understand where the tears were coming from. I can't remember ever shedding so many tears. I noticed other sisters around me having the same experience. Now I think that it must have been at least partially our ancestors weeping through us in joy and love at this historical moment. After all, they were meeting True Parents through us for the first time, too!
True Father spoke to us for a while. I was in heaven, looking first from Father to Mother and back again. I told myself it was rude to stare so hard at them, but I couldn't stop myself. I wanted to absorb everything, every detail. I was especially fascinated by Mother -- I suppose because since I am a sister, she is my ultimate role model of a true woman. I know everyone always says Mother is so beautiful, but I can't help saying it again because she really is! Her beauty comes from within and then overflows externally. It's not just beauty of the face, but also beauty of the spirit.
Mother
at the March '87 matching
At one point during his speech, Mother caught Father's attention and she gently whispered something in his ear. She had noticed that while he had been walking back and forth and gesturing with his arms, his shirt had become untucked in front. She must have been bringing this to his attention because he immediately turned his back to the audience and tucked his shirt in. Then he turned back around to continue his talk. It was pure delight to witness such a loving exchange between them. It may seem like a small thing, but because they represent the first true couple, even this simple give and take between them seemed to me to radiate true love. We were witnessing the living fulfillment of God's principle of creation: subject and object, plus and minus, having give and take and creating a unified oneness, centered on God's true love. All the chalk dust diagrams I'd seen on countless blackboards came to life.
Then Father rolled up his sleeves and the matching began. The spiritual electricity in the ballroom at that moment could have powered the world's electric generators for years to come! After he had been matching people for a little while, Father requested a group of sisters to stand in the front row. I was in that group. I had been staring at Father for hours, but now all of a sudden I couldn't meet his eyes. There I stood in front of Father, unable to lift my eyes from the floor. We sisters formed a long row, and Father walked up and down the line. I was afraid that if I looked up and met his eyes, he would spiritually be able to see all the things that were wrong with me, all my faults and fallen nature. All the feelings of self-doubt, lack of self-confidence, and unworthiness that I had ever experienced seemed to suddenly surface at once, trying to drown me.
Finally, I knew I had to face Father's judgment. I couldn't just stand there looking at the floor forever! From the corner of my eye I could see Father's feet approaching my side of the room again. Closer and closer they came. Mustering all my courage, I looked up.
As soon as I looked up, he immediately came over to me and looked me right in the eye. I found myself face to face, eyeball to eyeball, with this man that I had, in the course of a few minutes, made into such a "great and terrible" judge.
Father
at the March '87 matching
Can you guess what I found in those eyes? It's true that he looked at me very intently, but far from the piercing judgment I expected to see, I found myself looking into eyes that were full of absolute, tender, warm, embracing true love. All my doubts and fears melted away in an instant, and I was wrapped like a newborn baby in the warmth of Father's true love.
What an experience! I want to share this especially for those who have not yet been able to meet True Parents face to face, for in coming closer to understanding their hearts, we can come closer to understanding God's heart.
Father matched me to a wonderful Japanese brother, Shinichi Sasaki. Since my father is Chinese, my mother is Korean, and I was born in America, Shinichi and I represent quite a blending of East and West.
As the months go by, I can see that we were clearly brought together for reasons beyond our current limited concepts about husband/wife relationships. Little by little, I notice unique aspects that God has "built into" our relationship which will allow us to accomplish much more in our future marriage than only our own personal happiness. It's been quite an exciting year making all these new discoveries about each other!
It's a privilege to be trusted by God and True Parents to be a part of such a historical marriage. I can't express in words the gratitude and the hope I feel. Perhaps by offering this simple testimony, I can show my appreciation for this precious gift.
I can't think of my matching experience without thinking of my mother. I am one of the few people fortunate enough to have my physical mother as my spiritual mother. The fact that I was able to come to a point where Father could match me was largely due to her continuing love and guidance throughout my life.
She started an Il Hwa business in Columbus, Ohio, several years ago, and since then, she has committed her life 100 percent, with amazing success, to helping people in countries all over the world recover their health through the use of ginseng and internal cleansing products. I'm a first-hand witness that God has given her a gift and is working through her.
Because of the nature of her life and mission, my mother's personality has had to be very strong in some respects. Looking back now, I remember times, as I was growing up, when I felt she was too strict with her children. She warned us about many things in the fallen world. At the time, we didn't really believe the danger was that real. Sometimes I just acted out of blind obedience and trust in her guidance, even though I thought she was being just a little paranoid about the fallen state of the world.
But after the matching, I can see now how wise and loving her guidance really was. Seeing her joy after my matching was very moving. In short, she was radiantly happy, and I am proud and grateful that I could bring her such happiness. I want to thank my mother very much.