Though I consider myself a "good" member. I think that I am also a very independent thinker. I do a lot of the things I do, my own way. I hear what I want to hear and see what I want to see. I hear and see things very differently than other people.

I let a lot of things slide off me like a duck in the water. I do my best, but not always. When I want something I go after it and when it is not interesting to me I leave it alone. I think that I survived in my life this way and also I have been very lucky. Like Maria said in "The sound of Music" when God closes a door he opens a window. I think so too. For me the ancestor liberation was a very good experience. I gave the best effort that I could during the clapping and hitting session and when I prayed I felt my ancestors very close to me. I felt that they were very lonely in the spirit world and that they missed me and loved me very much. Especially the ones that knew me during their life. During the ceremony when Dae Mo Nim was there, and we were clapping at one point I looked up at her and she was looking at me and somehow with her hand, when she was on the stage and I was in the audience, she pulled something out of me. I felt that very clearly.

I thought that the things she said were very truthful, and I liked the way she said them. I thought that she was very pretty. I liked her. For me, the fee for the liberation is not a big deal. I don't always take those things so literally. We give what we can. For me I am happy to give some money to help to build a spiritual hospital and I am honored to donate to build a palace for True Parents. (I donated money to buy Barrytown and I am happy I could do that in 1973 and 1974). For me, I feel that my fortune is directly connected with my own ancestors and also my own attitude and efforts in my life. I am not afraid. God will take care of me. Even when things are difficult, I always know that I can make an effort to find God. So far God has always been there. Though life is not always easy. Since I have returned from the trip to Oakland, I have felt very good, (liberated) and lots of good things happened. Also I feel clearer.

A few days after I returned, I went with 2 of the ladies who were National Parents Day parents of the Year (not our church members) to gather names of new parents for this year. We visited 7 schools together and met the principals to give them the nomination papers personally. We had such a good experience together doing that. We also shared deeply. Then last Sunday I had a party for my mother's 90th birthday party. Without going into a million details... I will just say it was a perfect party. I had 40 adults and about 30 kids there. We had fresh salmon for the adults to eat and pizza for the kids. We had birthday cake and cheese cake. A lot of my relatives came which was a big victory for me and many of my mom's friends that she knew over 50 years. and neighbors and also members of the church that are friends of mine and my mom. We had a toast (with holy sparkling cider), to true love and long life. L'Haim!!!!

My mother was so happy. I was so happy!!!

So what I am trying to say is that I personally got a lot of benefit out of going to Oakland to meet Dae Mo Nim. And many things are improving for me on a personal level. I will let you know what happens at the end of the 100 days, because life is an ongoing process. And is becoming very exciting and interesting.

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