Jin Hun (Park) Moon (husband of Un Jin Moon)
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Jin Hun (Park) Moon (husband of Un Jin Moon) |
Jin
Hun Nim speaking at Belvedere
Before beginning, I would like to express my deepest gratitude to Heavenly Father for letting me stand in this position to share with you what I have experienced for the last two years since the Blessing of 1986. Last night a lot of things went through my mind. As I stand here now I don't know where to begin because the amount of blessing poured upon me has been so much and so deep.
First, I have to confess to you what my state of being was before I was Blessed. I was a senior attending Columbia University. I was having an extremely difficult time not only because the schoolwork was hard for me, but also because I wasn't really able to deal with the things that caused me to struggle. From the beginning of 1986 until the Blessing on April 11, I felt hopeless in many ways. Attending the university had a lot to do with it. I wasn't able to open my heart and understand God's. Will for me there. I had so many desires as a blessed child and son of one of the leaders of this church to do Heavenly Father's Will and to achieve His expectation of me. But I felt so many shortcomings and difficulties in accomplishing my heart's desire that I became very depressed. Many times I stayed in my room for hours, sometimes not even going to class. I had a room in the New Yorker and sometimes I would stay there for 24 hours. Once, for two days straight, I couldn't even eat anything and I simply didn't know what to do.
Then Father called from Korea and asked for all the blessed children 20 years and older to go to Korea right away. In the middle of the night, one of my friends came and told me Father wanted me to come to Korea right away. I said, "You're kidding!" I had heard rumors that Father had some plans for our engagement and Blessing. There was also some talk that Father wanted blessed children to get involved in some kind of student activities in Korea. I had many mixed feelings. I wanted to go to Parents with an open mind, to receive whatever Parents would give us.
The next morning I was on a plane to Korea for 10 hours. When I arrived I got on a bus where the bus driver told me, "Oh, all of you are engaged to other blessed children." We have known each other all of our lives and all of us are friends. He pointed at some people, but didn't say anything to me. I thought, "How about me? Who was I engaged to?" It was so unexpected. I was hoping Father had called us to do some CARP activities on Korean college campuses. That thirty minute bus ride was the most intense period of my life. I was thinking about so many things. That day was Parents Day, 1986.
When we arrived in Hannam-dong, Father's residence, Father had just finished his Parents' Day morning celebration, and we were eagerly waiting outside. At the time, most of the blessed children had gone back to their houses to change their clothes to meet True Parents. I was waiting outside. Suddenly, right after the end of the speech, Father asked for all the blessed children. I came in and sat to one side. Rev. Kwak was there and took my arm. He brought me upstairs to the second floor and started to change my clothes without telling me anything. What was I supposed to think? Father had a hanbok ready for me to wear, and I was just standing there shocked. Whichever way they pulled, I went. Then I went downstairs. I cannot forget the moment when Father asked me to come forward. For the first time I saw Un Jin Nim. She was wearing a red and pink hanbok -- it was a picture of her I will not forget. She was very nervous, maybe more than I was. We were both shaking when Father asked us to come together and hold hands. We exchanged rings and watches; that was the beginning.
So shocking, right? At least you had a chance to listen to Father's speech before your engagement. But out of nowhere, I was expected to stand and receive Father's Blessing. I was unprepared in many ways to receive that Blessing. I still feel I am unworthy to stand on this platform where Father has given so many great morning services.
For the next two years until today, this unprepared, unworthy person had the opportunity to experience and witness the greatness of the True Family. I think this is an appropriate opportunity for me to share with you some of these experiences. The True Family's only desire in this life is to please True Parents. Whether they go to school, or ride horses, or play music, the only thing they have in their mind is to reach Father and Mother's expectation and take the burden from their shoulders. That is such a beautiful sight to see. Sometimes we have our own ambitions or things to do, and sacrifice what Father and Mother want us to fulfill in favor of our own goals. But to the True Children, nothing in this world can give them happiness except True Parents. That is a very important point to understand. They have God-given talents, and if they set out to fulfill their own desires, how much they could accomplish! But they sacrifice everything to help True Parents.
Before I came to America, I was really doing well in Korea academically. But when I came here, it was difficult for me to adapt to the American way of life. Many times I felt so much hatred. Whenever I tried to share myself with someone, the thing I got back was some derogatory comment. I hated what America had to offer and became more and more isolated. I wasn't able to truly reach out to the American people and lovingly bring them toward Father and Mother.
I am giving this testimony of mine because I want to compare my life to what True Family has gone through. The True Children could justifiably resent a lot of things. They could resent the special persecution they received in the late 70's because they are sons and daughters of True Parents. Think about how much persecution and prejudice they experienced in school every day. Did they hate or resent all these people? No, they loved them -- not because they wanted to have friends -- but only because True Parents still loved the American people after going through the most difficult, suffering course. I've seen True Parents loving America, leaving True Children in the care of others when they have to travel. Even when True Parents are home, they spend hours and hours with the leaders and members.
Some of you might feel, "We should be strong-minded people to bring America back to God. So True Children should also go through that course and be strong about it." Yes, they are strong. But please try to understand their heart. True Children see through the perspective of true love. They have so much love, and their longing for love is so great, it must be a thousand-times more difficult for such loving children to go through that suffering. 1 heir love for True Parents is as great as True Parents love for Heavenly Father. It is their natural inheritance. Just as the True Parents love Heavenly Father, the True Children go through the same ordeal to love and embrace all this sinful world and restore it back to God. More than any members in the Unification Church, they are on the front line doing what they are supposed to do, and believe me, when their full potential is reached they can lead you through any difficulty or hardship.
As a new member of True Family, I have to help you to understand, support and be absolutely united with the True Children.
Jin
Hun Moon speaks at Belvedere
So many years of my life were spent outside of the True Family. I would like to share with you something about my physical parents [Chong Goo "Tiger " Park and Kum Soon Choi]. I am standing on this platform not because I have anything to offer, but because I owe this position to my own parents. They went through much suffering, like all the older members, and like all of you are going through. Many times as a child I resented having practically had no time with my own parents. Oftentimes I wondered where I belonged. I was here and there, moving around all the time. Over a span of five years, I had moved thirty or forty times.
My father was doing pioneering in many different places. Sometimes we weren't able to pay our rent and got evicted. We had a large family of nine members. There was a time when we were allowed to have one room in a big two-story building. We occupied the second floor, with seven kids running around, breaking things and creating havoc. We got kicked out in about 20 days. Also, I made friends in school. Then all of a sudden I had to leave that school and say goodbye. I resented that feeling and felt left out. I began to create a lot of walls. As a child, you should be bright and happy and make friends, but I was often isolated and aloof, unable to make friends with anybody. That increased the feelings of pain and resentment in me. When I grew up, I began to realize had my parents not gone through that suffering course, I might not be in this position.
I remember one time I was sleeping next to my father and in the middle of the night I woke up from a deep sleep to hear my father calling out, "Aboji, Aboji!" I was young then and I didn't understand, but now I realize how much my parents loved True Parents, and growing up in that kind of environment I can understand that there are things in life that go beyond parents' concern for their own children. My parents sacrificed their own children to do their responsibility to unite with Father. So please understand. Whenever you are concerned about your own children, or you have difficulties and worry about your financial situation, please understand that we have a greater responsibility to fulfill what God and True Parents want us to do in this world.
So if your family situation is blocking the way to fulfilling your responsibility, please don't hesitate. If you see your own children suffering without good clothes or without the best to eat, before thinking about their suffering, please think about how much suffering the True Family and all mankind is enduring at this moment. Throughout his whole life, Father sacrificed everything, including his own family, in order to fulfill Heavenly Father's Will. How great it is to see your own children looking at you as they grow up and getting inspired to do something greater in life.
Blessed families may have some problems, but don't be swayed from your fundamental goal to accomplish your responsibility. When you really love and understand Father's heart and his suffering course, how can you be content? How can you worry only about your family? You should help the world, even if your children are having difficulties. I'm sure this whole universe will take care of them in the future. Look at me. I am here only because my parents loved True Parents. Even at the cost of sacrificing their own children they cried out every night thinking about the True Family and trying to accomplish their own responsibility. In the end it is not a sacrifice, but the greatest blessing you can have. Father blesses you not because you individually have certain characteristics, or because you are great, but because Father wants your children to be good. Father wants to give them the blessing and glory merited by the sacrifice of True Parents and you. Since the True Family sacrifices so much for us, the blessed children and all Unification Church members should pave the way for True Family. Until now they have suffered too much. So you should go out and bring the victorious foundation upon which the True Family can stand.
We cannot separate True Children from True Parents. Father has, at the cost of sacrificing his own children, been out there on the front line every day and night of his forty-year course just to save us. Did we ever think about what he went through just to give us all these blessings? Whatever True Children do or have, you cannot separate that from True Parents. If we have any doubt or criticism, we should go out and pay back all our debts, all the blessings that True Parents have given to us. That's the only way.
I have to confess that I myself oftentimes have had difficulties living in the True Family, for it is like living in the eye of a hurricane. You are right in the center. If you make one little mistake, if your heart is not completely united with the True Family, you can be swept away. Therefore, we must have a humble attitude and deny ourselves.
Satan is watching and asking, "Where do you stand?" Every day we have to ask ourselves, "Where do I stand?" because we know Heavenly Father and Satan are watching us. Are you united 100% with the True Family? Ask yourself that. I ask myself that every day and I need to repent every day. It is really difficult, because it means we have to deny yourself 100%.
Sometimes in my relationship with Un Jin Nim I feel, "Please love me. I am your husband, so you have to love me."
Is that right? I have to earn her love myself. What does that mean? It means that I give my life for some higher purpose, for the True Family. Please ask yourself every minute of the day, "Am I really giving my life and thinking about my relationship with Heavenly Father and the True Family?" Ask your original mind. It's as simple as that. It is like a two-way street. Sometimes we are so inspired to do well and accomplish something. Then we get a tremendous boost and want to accomplish even more. But sometimes we are discouraged. "Oh, I made this goal, this pledge, or this determination. But oftentimes I can't reach it." As for myself, I get discouraged easily. I am sure many of you feel the same way.
When he went to prison six times, I'm sure Father was often in the position of life and death. But without hesitation, he loved Heavenly Father and mankind and was willing to dedicate everything he had without asking anything in return. He was willing to walk the most difficult path; he humbly and gratefully accepted that responsibility.
That's why I am standing here this morning. As a new member of the True Family, I would like to dedicate this morning to a new beginning. I want you to do the same. If any of you have difficulties or struggles, please toss them aside. Go out and give life. Give everything you have without asking anything in return. Think about the True family and the suffering they had to endure, then willingly and gratefully bow down. Whatever situation Father puts you in, whatever area of responsibility you have, go out and be victorious. Bring the result that Father so eagerly wants us to accomplish. Father must have so much expectation for us, but if we start thinking selfishly and individualistically, we'll get discouraged easily. If we engraft ourselves 100% to his will then automatically we can go out there.
Hyo Jin Nim many times said that he was standing here on this platform not because he personally had anything to say but because he wanted to take responsibility and ease the burden of True Parents. Father is almost seventy years old. Have you thought what that means? Most of us are in our late twenties or thirties, but Father is almost a seventy-year old man trying every day to give his best. Many times I get so tired, then I see True Parents. How do they do that? How does Father stay up so late? How can he do such incredible things? I don't know. Please think deeply about Father standing out on the front line, risking his life. He is giving himself totally in life and death situations, in the battle between Heavenly Father and Satan. Can we sit quietly or stand idle? Can we hold onto our own resentment or complaints? Can we have our own excuses for not fulfilling our responsibility?
So, no matter how unworthy I am, I am here to actually begin my new life. This is a big event for me. Honestly speaking, I tried to find an easy way out many times. Father expects me to study hard, and do certain things, but often I have an excuse or something else on my mind. Maybe I reached to 99%, but I was not able to reach that 100% mark, that is, giving my life and being absolutely determined. My own personal shortcomings and personal worries would bring me down. But now I would like to dedicate myself to give my utmost from this moment on to fulfill what Father and Mother expect me and every one of us here to do. I want you all, once again, to determine and pledge yourself to start again. If you have any difficulties, begin again and march forward without any hesitation. Even if True Parents are not here, think about them and be responsible. Please, I beg you, no matter how difficult it is, we have to do it. We have no excuse.
If I start thinking about how much I have received from True Parents I cannot express it in words and I cannot sit idle. Even if you've had a difficult past, and see many difficulties in the future, are you willing to go or will you take the easy way out?
Father finds goodness in the most hateful and unloving person. He loves the most unworthy person and ungrateful person eternally. Why? Because everyone is a son and daughter of God, and he feels that to love Heavenly Father means to love all of you. America especially has given so much persecution to Father, and yet what does he do? He gives love back to America. If we understand that heart, then instead of building walls and returning hate when we receive hate, we are willing to go one extra step to love. We forget about our pain and resentment, making things a lot easier. It's easier said than done, but Heavenly Father has been doing it for 6,000 years. Think about how many millions and billions of people betray God every day. Think about how Heavenly Father has to give love to the enemy. True Parents, without question, are the same.
It would be so much easier if we could take just one more step. Even among ourselves, if we have some bad feelings against someone, instead of breeding hatred or resentment, go beyond your suffering heart and give love just as True Parents do. The funny thing is, we think that once we start doing that, we might feel drained. But a person with true love knows that the love is endless. If we give more, more will come back, so we want to keep giving. That is true love. We may feel if we give a certain amount to someone, he should give it back, but that is not true love. The same is true with your mission; whether you do newspaper work or fundraising or whatever, give that extra effort to love that person. Actually it takes effort to hate somebody, too, so make an effort to love a person instead.
As for me, I dislike school because it is filled with so many liberal tendencies. I don't like those things and don't want to listen to them. But I have to love those people and bring them back to God. How can I do that? Heavenly Father and True Parents are giving everything to bring this whole world back. We have only a small responsibility. When you see a tiny roadblock and you become discouraged, go beyond it and love that person. Love the most unlovable thing. One time Father said he went to see beggars and tried to make friends with them to understand their hearts. He used to wear baggy clothes and just talk to them. You should be like that, always giving extra effort to love because Heavenly Father and True Family are doing so.
Every day millions of people are dying without hearing about Divine Principle or knowing about True Parents. We should go out and give our utmost without any excuse. Until we reach our goal, we will humbly follow Father's will. Even if Father doesn't acknowledge us, we will still fulfill our responsibility. Absolutely. Personally, I have to pledge myself before you, too, given this opportunity. Now you know me, and I pledge this moment. So please watch me, too. I'll go to that place and however difficult that road is, I will march forward without hesitation. Please, watch the True Children with your own eyes to get inspired. Then pledge to do more than they. Strictly speaking, we should set the foundation so they can stand on it. Do we have that foundation yet? Ask your heart to really give back to True Children and True Family. Truly I ask you to give your utmost. Let us march forward together.