The Words of Jin Sung (Pak) Moon (husband of In Jin Moon)
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The Words of Jin Sung (Pak) Moon (husband of In Jin Moon) |
Good Morning Brothers and Sisters,
So we're here to celebrate our elder brother's [Hyo Jin Moon] life and memory and energy and ongoing spirit; and uh, I thought that I would try to do my best as I've been reflecting for the last couple of weeks. And uh, what I would like to share with you is that uh... you know, when I think about hyung and when I think about the True Children.
I need to distinguish, I think Father and Mother's sons and daughters from people like me, us, the spouses. I'm actually a representative more of you than I am a representative of True Family. I can't really stand up here and talk to you as if I really deeply knew Hyo Jin Nim; perhaps I spent more time with him than anyone else on this planet, but I still am at a loss because he was such an amazing person. So, I thought I would share with you some of my experiences as a member of this congregation particularly here in New York.
You know this is particularly... Father and Mother really loved America so much by physically coming here. There are lots of countries in this planet; and he chose this one. There are some countries many people would differ would say are more important than America, the Chinese think so and the Russians think so; but, for Providential reasons, we were the lucky ones. And by Father and Mother coming here to this land, he gave us something, Parents gave us something really incredible. They gave us their children, their offspring and they grew up learning our language. They don't speak Russian, They don't speak (Korean, that is).... Many of them don't speak Korean very well. They all speak English. And that's a huge Blessing, a huge opportunity. The amount of Love that True Children, particularly Hyo Jin Nim, gave to New York and to New York members and to American members is enormous.
And Father often said those that... whoever loves something the most is the owner; and, I think those of us in this room more than anywhere in this world loved Hyo Jin Nim the most, don't we? He loved us the most; and, we loved him back as much as we could. And, in a way, we are the owners of Hyo Jin Nim's love, we particularly, particularly in this room. There are lots of events memorializing Hyo Jin Nim's Seunghwa. We went to Korea to participate in those and there are events around the world.
In Jin Nim wanted to express her welcome to you; and her apology for not being able to be here, but she certainly sent me. But she, we talked about what it is that I might share with you; and, I thought that it's important perhaps, when I think about my relationship with Hyo Jin Nim, I think about what I received from him, I tried to receive from him, continue to try to receive from him and what I might be able to do with that in turning to my brothers and sisters here in this room in sharing that with you.
There are times when the True Family comes in. The True Family goes out... For 24 years I get one of these bouquets and many of you don't; but, I need to tell you that I, I'm so humbly more and feel a part of you, looking at True Parents and living side by side with True Family, I can only share with you the continued growing awe that I have for them.
And Yeon Ah and I were speaking in the room before coming down here; and, I looked at her and we shared a few stories and we both laughed, and we both just laughed because we know that she and I are more alike than let's say Hyo Jin Nim or In Jin Nim and Hyun Jin Nim and Kook Jin Nim. And a funny remark came out in saying "Hyo Jin Nim loved His brothers and sisters more than His spouse" she said to me.
And I said "Yes" Hyo Jin Nim often said to me "You're not good enough for In Jin." And I have got to tell you that is the God honest truth. And if I can just make it somehow day by day, I'm doing it, I think, as an offspring of you. I'm your son and daughter. I'm your children's brother. And I have to tell you that I am more like you than I am like them. So, I thought that I would spend a few moments telling you about them.
At times when we say 'Them' like 'the others'; they're almost like aliens, they really are. Father, if this was a science fiction movie, and we belonged to, let's say, a cult, we were captivated by this Being that came from the cosmos with perfect DNA, that's Father. Father is not human; He's superhuman. He's not even Father; and, we're not even sons and daughters, because, we have to qualify for that. He's superhuman. Really, I mean, I know that more now... at a time when I..., more than ever; and, there was a time when I even doubted it. I was confused. I was lost.
It's really a great thing to be lost; it's like a fight with your spouse. The best part is making up. When you get lost and you find your way all by yourself; and, you said Hey I made it. Where am I? Oh, I'm back at home. I'm back with True Parents. I'm back with True Family. And you know what, my journey out in the wilderness has given me a greater appreciation for who they are and what they are. Father and Mother... are... So Father, this super human being comes to this planet and transforms a woman. It takes not a ceremony, it takes decades. And this woman is transformed into a superhuman being.
How many women do you know who can give birth to seven sons and seven daughters. It's not just the number 14, but its seven sons and seven daughters. It's just, it's truly amazing; and, it's kind of one of those providential numbers, isn't it. And then I wanted to share with you my experiences with what it's like to grow up with super human being children. It's unbelievably impossible. It's just impossible; because, we, as Levi [Daugherty] mentioned, come from thousands of years of what Cain thinks is normal.
The word that comes to my mind when I thought of Hyo Jin Nim's passing is tormented. But don't misunderstand me. So, I wanted to put that in context. True Children are like a pure drop of water dropped into a bucket of mud, and asked to grow up without the mother-ship, Father and Mother looking over them. Just dropped into a bucket of water, that's us. You take a bucket of water with black ink in it; and, what happens to any pure drop of water you drop into that. It becomes tainted, it becomes corrupted. It becomes part of the bucket.
But, I'll tell you the good news at the end; because before you know it, and you might not even be looking sometimes, because you're looking at all and checking it out and say 'Uuuh the water's so muddy...' or inky, dark, polluted, tainted... that' s what we are. And True Children are dropped into this environment and I've watched them grow up; and, I didn't understand what I was seeing; because I'm a tainted drop of water. And I did my best to be a good boy, you know, the son of one of you; and, the concepts that we carry around with us in our mind, that they just don't have. They just don't have. You know, you've heard of the expression 'Rebel without a cause' Hyo Jin Nim and his brothers and sisters are rebels to us.
They're with a cause, rebels with a purpose. But, we have to understand that; because what I wanted to do today is try to share something with you that has become very deeper for me than ever before. And with Hyo Jin Nim leading the way to the spirit world, I'm thinking what would he want me to come and do and say? And I'm thinking he would say 'Tell them about us, Jin. Tell them about me and my brothers and sisters. Help them take care of us'. 'Help them take care of us so that they can prosper to be better able to take care of the world.'
Because the good news is what looks like a normal drop of water because we're mistaking the True Children to be like us, drops into this world, Cain, polluted, I mean we're talking about concepts in our mind about what we think is right or wrong or the battles that we have in terms of many of us not even knowing who we are.
I found out recently a few years ago at the ripe old age of 40 something. I didn't know who I was. I had to figure that out all over again. And when I figured that out, it was pretty amazing; because nothing was left standing besides Father and Mother and True Family. They are the source of something.
And the good news is that these drops of water that we're confused about and we're even asked to tutor them or take care of them... My dad used to say 'Be a good example to Hyo Jin Nim.' Can you believe that. Can you believe the dilemma that I was confronted with as a young teenager... 'Teach him. Make sure he understands that his studies are important.' I remember once when I was trying to catch Him up on a calculus exam... Oh my God... that was tough... when you're positioned to try to convey some information to hyung and in the big picture he's like 'None of this really matters, Jin. You should flunk an exam once in a while, Jin, for the first time in your life. It would probably be the best thing in your life' and I didn't flunk any exams.
I got straight A's; but, I actually flunked and made some big mistakes in my life later on that kind of actually, now I realized that this chip on my shoulder where I think I know something is gone and I found out I don't know anything, except one thing 'I have got to stay close to True Children and True Family.' That's what I discovered.
And this drop that struggles with the pollution around it and gets pulled apart in all these different directions, before you know it, what's happening now. Look at them now. Look at Ye Jin Nim and Hyung Jin Nim and In Jin Nim all the way down to the youngest one. They're solidifying into the purest crystal diamond. And then this shiningness is cleansing the environment around them. And us drops of water around them, I have got to tell you 'It's painful' you have to be willing and able to receive their penetration... Their... I mean...
So, let me tell you a few stories; because, whenever I sit at one of these things I said 'Do they really know hyung?' and 'How can I tell them who hyung was in ten minutes?' But, I met hyung in the early 1970's. I was his 2nd generation friend. In the 12 years before I became his brother-in-law for 24 years. So, I've known Hyung for 36 years; and uh, you know, He got kicked out of Hackley [Hackley School, 293 Benedict Ave. Tarrytown, NY]. I have got to tell you about that.
This pure drop of water goes to school; and, what kind of kids do you meet at school? Ideal school? Ideal children? No, it's the most horrible environment. And the first thing that happens to True Children when they're subjected to school is they are looking around. They're saying 'What is this planet? Why is everybody so messed up?' And I have got to tell you when I came close to True Children I found out something that I tried to forget many times, actually. They can read your heart.
Those of you who are around Hyo Jin Nim and Hyun Jin Nim and In Jin Nim and other True Children, They can read your mind. They know what you're thinking about. And that little 'ah hum...' when hyung does that.. He's just forgiving you again and again and again... That's the torment part... was they're in this planet of aliens... We think they're the aliens they came from an ideal heaven onto this planet and God asked him to live here and teach us... We the aliens. We're the sick aliens...
They're like 'What is wrong with these people' so, when I met hyung when he was young; and, this might be helpful to share with your children. You know what his favorite line was at school. I mean it's not uncommon; but, think about why we see it in the movies or James Dean or something. He would say 'Hey, what are you looking at?' 'What are you looking at?' Do you know how many times that got him into a fight in school?
He was rebel with a cause. But, we're the aliens and what happened is these outside people who were dealing with him, they would just look at him; but because hyung could see their heart and read their mind, and he could hear them say 'Chink... Moonie Who do you think you are? I'm better than you are. I'm captain of the football team. I get straight A's'. And not only from the outside kids. True Children get it from Blessed children. Hyun got it from me so many times. And he tried to teach me 'Jin, you know, don't look at me like that. Don't look at me like you know something. You don't know me like' ...; and He would say 'Jin, you don't know me; but, I know you'. And I'm like 'Yes you do hyung. Can you tell me who I am?' I mean it was hard.
So, often in school, can you imagine, He got in trouble... I' m going to tell you that; because, he was rebel with a cause. And he, they... and he got kicked out of Hackley; so, do you know what the great idea was? Let's let him go live in Dr. Pak's house; so, Jin can be a good example to him. Holy cow! So, my dad said 'Hyo Jin Nim is coming here to live with us and go to high school with you, public high school; and uh, try to be a good influence on him.'
Oh my goodness... That's like a recipe for disaster. And my dad on the second floor of the bedrooms of the house put a big speaker in the towel closet; and, every morning at 7 am in the summer time, he'd open it up and start blaring these vocabulary tapes for the SAT preparation. And then, you know, my dad would say 'Hyo Jin Nim, It's time to study SAT's and math and English... We'd sit at these folding tables in the family room... I want to share with you, I'll never forget... and so, you know, we're listening to the vocabulary tape; and, hyung is like... Oh, my God... and the word's 'palpitate', noun or verb and it means 'to beat'. As we know, our heart palpitates when we're in love.
And so my dad says 'You know, Hyo Jin Nim, it's really easier to memorize these words if you put a sentence to it'. So, He said 'Okay. Hey Jin, after this class I'm going to palpitate your face' as in 'to beat'... And I'll never forget that word. 'Martinet' strict disciplinarian. . 'Hey Jin, your dad is a martinet'. So, my dad, like all of you, we're trying to raise these superhuman children and conform them to our standard?... That's the mistake that we make subconsciously with the True Family all the time. I do it all the time. Because all we have is our heads. That's why Father Says sometimes 'Don't use your heads anymore'.
We don't have any standards, or whatever standards we think we have, like straight A's or getting along with the kids, don't get in fights at school... Actually, the ideal standard is that, the kind of kids that Hyo Jin Nim had to go to school with, it would probably be totally justified for him to fight them. And, in fact, he never picked fights; but, he never backed down from them. And because he walked around the hallways like an alien being, the other kids were really filled with insecurities. You know, they would look at him and hyung would just say 'What are you looking at?'
I know when I first met him, he said that to me a lot. And he would say that actually he should say that often; but, he stopped saying that because as they grew up, they didn't conform. They won't conform. They will lead us and teach us; but, they forgive... and again and again they forgive us, as they struggle to find themselves. So, they have a superhuman mom and dad. Who said 'Children, because you're superhuman offspring, you're going to have to raise yourselves; and, for nannies and role models, we're going to give you the Cain world. That's the context in which Hyo Jin Nim had to grow up in.
My dad was saying 'Hyo Jin Nim, you have to be more like this, more like that... What does my dad know? What do any of us know?' It was a very painful moment once, where hyung was 'misbehaving' and not going according to the program... Can you imagine that... you know Hyo Jin Nim when he was older but can you imagine when he was younger... When he was younger... we made the mistake when the True Children were younger... not understanding that... Yes, they're young by definition; but, they're still superhuman offspring; and, they're going to march to a different drummer; and, we should just love them and support them.
That's the message. There was a moment when my dad was coming to heads with Hyo Jin Nim; and, my dad said 'Well, Hyo Jin Nim, I can't spank you; so, I'm going to spank my son if you don't obey me'. It might one of those moments in my life that's buried in my subconscious that I'm suggesting. But, my dad said 'Jin, Jin Sung, get in pushup position and he took out his belt, 'Hyo Jin Nim sit down and study your vocabulary.'
"No, Dr. Pak" and Hyo Jin Nim just sat there looking over and said 'Did that hurt?' And I got up after about 20 lashings; and, Hyo Jin Nim hugged me; and, he said 'Your dad's really messed up isn't he?'. That's Hyo Jin Nim.