Life in the Grace of True Parents

March 16, 2009

At the Won Jeon memorial service for Hyo Jin nim a year after his ascension, his wife Choi Yeon-ah nim spoke about her memories, her family and about the strength she derives from True Parents

My fellow members, good morning. I'm grateful to see so many faces here. I was worried because the weather was so cold until a few days ago, but today is nice; it's tranquil and the sunlight isn't very strong.

It has already been a year. For me personally, time has gone by so quickly, it feels as if the past year has just vanished away.

During that time, many providential incidents involving True Parents occurred; in particular, Heaven protected them and helped them to escape harm in the helicopter accident last summer. Seeing them engaged once again in leading us to achieve the goal set for 2013 amidst frequent providential events, I have come to realize, once again, that True Parents are more precious to us than anything or anyone else.

Worried that we might be lonely in the United States, True Parents called my family to stay in Korea. As you may know, we are now living in Hannam-dong, and as you can see, our children are doing very well. To a parent, the greatest worry is whether the children are doing well, but in Hannam-dong their uncles, aunts and cousins are looking after them. We all get along well together, so our children have lived in happiness for the past year, without experiencing shadows. You might perceive this when you look at them.

Looking back at that time, I realize that I had no peace of mind and could not organize myself; I couldn't make the time nor find the full presence of mind to properly take care of them. In spite of that, now that some time has passed, the people around us tell me that the children have settled down in school and are doing much better than had been expected.

This made me realize yet again that True Parents have saved my children from difficulty.

In particular, we had lived so long in the U.S. that it was not easy for me to live in Korea again. I was worried that we might have trouble fitting in because the environment is so different. I had many other worries besides, but when I look at my children I see that they are growing up happily, and every day they are cheerful and mischievous as all children their age are. Apart from everything else, True Parents have called my children to come and live with their cousins and the True Children as a family. My family has been saved and helped in the embrace of their love for us; I have thought this on many occasions.

Thank you, True Parents. You have thought about us deeply, and though you did not explain the details to us at the time, now that some time has passed and I look at my children, I cannot help realizing that it was the only way we could have been saved.

And I also ask myself what Hyo Jin nim would have wanted from us. My youngest child is talking now, the one who resembles Hyo Jin nim a lot. Whenever you think of Hyo Jin nim, please look at our youngest child. All our children resemble Hyo Jin nim in character and appearance, but True Parents have said that even our youngest child's feet resemble his father's. So, if you miss Hyo Jin nim, you will be able to find new hope and joy when you look at our children.

When I wonder what Hyo Jin nim would really want from us, even now, I think there is only one answer: to take the path of sons and daughters of filial piety to True Parents. I don't think there is any other way.

Hyo Jin nim said that in his name he discovered the purpose of his life, which was to take the path of filial piety. He always thought about True Parents and about how he could give joy to them. When you think of it, though in his life he faced many obstacles and lived through many incidents, to the end Hyo Jin nim always stayed by True Parents' side. Hyo Jin nim was known for how much he loved his children. True Father called Hyo Jin nim a doting father and told him, "Please love your father as much as you love your children!" Though he may have said that, I can tell you with confidence that, in the moments when it mattered, Hyo Jin nim always put his parents before his children.

I think you will also come to see this when you look more deeply and closely into Hyo Jin nim's life, so I won't go into details about that. As you know, during the last years of his life he thought a lot about his relationships with his brothers and sisters.

He had many difficulties in his life, and frankly speaking, there must have been times when he sank in the estimation of his parents, the members and his brothers and sisters. Hyo Jin nim's character was such that whenever this happened, he did not wish to appear before others until he had accomplished something he could show them. He was not one to report how well something was being done while it was still in process. He seemed to find satisfaction in achieving some result, then he moved on to the next stage.

There were also many difficulties in the church, and Hyo Jin nim felt deeply that he had not fulfilled his individual responsibility and that the church had suffered because of him. He felt regretful in front of the members, ashamed in front of his parents and sincerely sorry to his brothers and sisters.

All the other True Children are working hard as well, but from the religious perspective, the youngest brother, Hyung Jin nim, has the greatest responsibility on his shoulders. When he talked about that position, Hyo Jin nim always said it was the position of a king, but that that king was none other than an exemplary slave, for it was the hardest position, necessitating the most suffering. He also said, "Who would wish to assume such a position, the position of a slave; I would not take it on."

But the youngest of all the brothers, Hyung Jin nim, assumed this most difficult position, one of hardship and toil. Hyo Jin nim supported him and at the same time felt sorry for him, because in order to do well in that position Hyung Jin nim would have to shed more blood and tears than others, which is the way True Parents have lived their lives. All of you can testify to this.

Perhaps you have been able to gain a sense of Father's inner heart and his life through his recently published autobiography. It was just like that for me. To be honest, I didn't know much about True Parents because I am a second-generation member. To begin with, there is a considerable generation gap. I also did not personally experience some of the most important events in providential history or closely serve True Parents. So, there were times when I could not understand or be deeply touched by what True Father was saying in Hoon Dok Hae even though it was in Korean.

When I thought about it as I grew more mature, I came to realize how difficult it must have been for True Parents when someone like me, who did not know much about True Parents' heart or circumstances became a True Family member. Yet, though we were in many ways insufficient, they watched over us, waited with hope and supported us until we grew more mature.

I can still sense that True Parents never express in words what they are feeling. The True Children resemble them a lot in this regard; they also do not express themselves in words. One can feel that something is going on in their hearts, but they don't say anything more about it than a simple "Please understand" as they depart.

The most important thing to understand is what most needs to be done even if sacrifices must be made.

When I look at the fundamental basis of our family, True Parents, and the path they are following centered on God, I begin to wonder what circumstances lie behind them. Looking at Hyo Jin nim, also, I could feel that there were many such situations. He could not tell me everything that had happened to him, even if he had wanted to. For the greater good he had had to just bury some things and move on.

When he said this, I thought how much more so that must have been the case for True Parents. They have lived longer than Hyo Jin nim, and they have experienced more incidents along the providential path. Yet they have not told us anything about it or expressed themselves in any way other than to tell us not to die on the way, only stay alive and follow them over the hill so that we can go together. When I see them, though I don't know much myself, I feel once again that they are truly our True Parents and are endowing us with their love. I have lived through the past year with these thoughts.

During our time together, I saw True Parents through Hyo Jin nim; nowadays when I see True Parents, I can see what they are like through the things I have learned from the other True Children.

Returning to my main point, I think Hyo Jin nim would point out that True Parents are now elderly and we have grown more mature. We are older, and there are many in the younger generations. From the perspective of the external, social environment, we have achieved a lot compared to the beginning days of our church. We have accomplished a great deal. When I think about this, I think Hyo Jin nim would say we should do our best with whatever we have and encourage us to think of True Parents, be devoted children and become one in heart and desire with brothers and sisters.

This is what I think, and there is only one conclusion I can reach. Hyo Jin nim always said that he was just passing by, that he was not True Father, not the Messiah, but just part of the ongoing process. This is true for us as well, because we too are part of the ongoing process; our work is easy because all we need to do is serve True Parents and follow them as they guide us. We can see what is coming toward us, which makes it easier than if we had to make our own way. The best and the shortest way for us is to follow the path True Parents have shown us.

True Father is counting the days to 2013, and when I see him grudging the hours passing by and not taking the time to sleep or to eat as he offers devotions day after day for the Will, I feel so ashamed because we have not fulfilled our duties as his children. This is why True Father and Mother have to strive and suffer even now.

My fellow members, the only thing I can tell you is that though you may wonder about True Parents' lives and how they spend their time, when I actually see them, I wonder how they can possibly live like that, because if it were me, I couldn't. Theirs is a difficult and lonely path, but if we children unite and return joy to them, I think True Parents will be happy, even when they are enduring hardships.

You all know that what will give True Parents the greatest joy and energy is the hope that centering on the true God, we can make a true and happy world as quickly as possible -- which we can enjoy with our children and descendants.

Please remember this. And since you have come here to the Won Jeon, I hope you will take some time to look around and to feel God's love and True Parents' love before you leave.

Thank you so much. I will also live zealously. I have so much. I have been given so much, so I am much happier than I was last year. My children are still rather young and immature, which I think is good because it is normal. I think being ordinary and not experiencing shadows is the best thing for them. And the True Children have cared so much for them during this time. They took care of the children when I could not, and they have been patient and thought of the children as their own, so we have been able to come so far. My youngest child is calling me, so I'd better go to him! Thank you.