Often we are struggling

Hyo Jin Moon
March 30, 1985

On June 18, 1984, True Father met with international leaders of CARP at East Garden and explained that the organization was now entering a new phase, the era of the second generation. Present at the meeting were Mr. Ohta of Japan, Rev. Bong Tae Kim of Korea, Dr. Joon Ho Seuk and Mr. Dieter Schmidt of Germany. Father announced that his oldest son Hyo Jin nim would now assume the position of World CARP president. Until that time, World CARP had existed only in theory, it was not a formal organization and no one other than Father himself had been the leader of World CARP. It was not therefore a clearly defined role but it represented a major responsibility.

Hyo Jin Moon took this challenge seriously. From January 12 to June 11, 1985, he completed a 100-day prayer condition at the Belvedere holy ground. Hyo Jin nim explained that the purpose behind his prayer was "to achieve a heartistic union or oneness with Father, where I would begin to understand his suffering as his eldest son." Later, Dr. Seuk stated that Hyo Jin nim had restored the heavenly older son's position through his prayer vigil and that by uniting with him, the blessed children and CARP had restored the original heavenly order of older child and younger child.

Hyo Jin Moon's first official address as the leader of World CARP was delivered on March 30, 1985, at the Columbia Center in New York City, where a hundred East Coast CARP members met with Dr. Seuk and his wife Moon Hye Yoon. Hyo Jin nim cut the ribbon to officially open the newly refurbished center. The following is the address he gave on that occasion before leaving to visit his father in Danbury, Connecticut.

First of all, I would like to thank everybody and to celebrate this occasion. I want to thank all of you for standing strong against Satan. Often, if I am at home, I get many letters from brothers and sisters telling me the story of how they first joined the church, what their missions are and what their experiences have been like in the Unification Church. Many times those letters are really heartaches; they move me a lot. Often the members are really struggling, struggling to relate with their leaders, struggling to fight off many temptations. They are struggling to adapt to their environment. They frequently struggle with their leaders and with themselves. Sometimes this hurts me. For whatever we do and whatever we feel about each other, nothing must belong to Satan. Nothing can be claimed by Satan. When we ourselves are separated and we admit to ourselves that something is wrong with each other, we are admitting to ourselves and to Satan that he has won that course and that part of our lives. Yesterday, I was at Holy Rock thinking about each one of you, what I can say to you and how I can bring you more closely together and closer to True Parents. How can we understand the value of what Father and God are preparing for us to do?

I often ask myself: When do I repent?

When is the ideal time to repent? Do I repent because I am weak or because I am ashamed of the external mistakes that I have made? Is that the only time I repent? Then I felt inside that when we repent we are coming closer to God, because God is eternal. God is endless. When you set yourself up, confident as one being, you are limiting your growth.

I am only so much as one man. Even God is seeking out and Father is seeking to find the ideal vessel for the perfect man. When we are over-confident in ourselves we stop growing. We are here to unite, but not just to unite but to truly understand God and to be with God; to understand what God is trying to prepare for us, what his love is all about. How can we not try to reach for that which is endless and eternal? So our lives should depend on repentance. I don't think this is something we should be ashamed of. I think it is the greatest thing. It is the way we can be with God.

I was so much into martial arts, physical activities and going out just doing whatever I was drawn to. I was always trying to accomplish something. When I accomplished it, I felt satisfied, but still I always wanted mom. I wanted to reach out to every part of you and every part of the world, but I would say to myself that that is not the greatest thing. God is not just one thing. He is the creator of the universe. I don't want to put myself just in the position of a guitar player or a martial artist. I would rather be just Father's son speaking to you. I want to touch more. I want to be more, not for myself, but for all of you. Do you think living for my own satisfaction will be welcomed in God's dominion? God is always giving, preparing, always the provider, and always loving. With that kind of heart, in that kind of world, how can I survive when I only seek my best interest, my gratification? That is when I stop to think and realize that it is wrong.

Many young people get inspiration in times of struggle through things. They rejoice and feel closer to things, but I want to give you more than just a moment of satisfaction. Sometimes fighting off disease is a painful course but I cannot give you some kind of drug that can cure you moment by moment. If I care about you, even though it hurts, both Father and I will say to you strongly that you must do this. Why? Because that is our work. That is how much we must work for God.

Why are we here? Are we here because we ourselves are great? No, we are here to give. We are here to receive God's love and give it to our children. That is the greatest thing we can accomplish. What more can we do? What greater task can you think of where you can proudly stand in the world of eternity and in the sight of God? Physical fame or greatness? I don't think there is any greatness that can top the suffering that you want to offer to God.

What is filial piety? It is wanting to take my father's suffering, my brother's suffering. I want to do that because I love my family; I love my God. Many people live in the fallen world and they just take love -- such an endless and precious thing. Yet they make love into a little thing, into just physical love.

When we are young and growing up, we should learn the right things but there is nothing out there providing true guidance or the true meaning of love. There is nothing out there for us to learn but we pick up fallen things because we are desperate and we need to dwell on love. So we make ourselves believe that that is love. Without a model of a true man and a true woman, there is nothing. That is what Father said. Father said, "Why didn't Jesus give the ideal image of a human being? Why didn't he say this person is the ideal man and you should follow this person? Why did he say he was going to come back?"

America is truly a God-prepared nation. Why? Because it is said here that all men are created equal. That was to prepare for the coming of the Messiah. If that had not happened, many people would stand up and proclaim a false Messiah. They would claim themselves as the Messiah. The founding fathers may not have understood why they were enforcing this so strongly, but it is what God wanted. That is what I feel.

When I was young, going to school was the hardest thing to do. The accusations they threw at me I could take, but when they accused my parents, that I could not bear. I go to school now and I see many young people. They are still struggling to find the truth. Sometimes I get angry. I get so angry that I hate what they are doing. How can someone let themselves believe that they are not a child of God? They believe that they are the son of a monkey. How can they see their own value in that kind of society? That is why when you can change hatred into love it can become the greatest power. In the darkest place the light burns brighter.

I believe that when Father sent me to school he wanted me to learn how to change things. He wanted me to gain confidence, not my own confidence, but confidence that with God we can do it. I can do it.

I am learning about the people. I learn about what they believe and their ideology. I learn about their lifestyle and what their weaknesses are.

Even in CARP, with martial arts, we are telling young people to have a strong internal image. When you fight, you must know your opponent. How can you become a good fighter? You must fight many, many times and fight with many different types of people because each person has a different technique. The more you fight the more you know. The more you know, the stronger you become.

When you go out to the street and you meet the people, do not become discouraged. This is the training ground where we grow our spirits. It is not for ourselves. Don't take success as your greatness. You should feel more burdened because the more you know the more you have to give. The person who loses their humbleness and preciousness is a small person. We must be a winner in God's eyes. The more we know the more we have to give. When you know that your own fragrance is beautiful and good, you don't need to shout it out to the world. You don't have to talk about it or show it to other people. They will realize it. That kind of tradition and foundation are what we have to set in this American church and for the rest of the world. That is what we have to do. We are young and we are strongly determined.

When I was young I often thought that I could help by being impartial but that was wrong. First I have to understand the truth and God's holistic view in order for me to go in one direction and toward one goal. That was given to me as my responsibility or else it would not have been a full passageway directly coming from God. It would have been only partial, getting caught up in the physical world. That is why we must now strongly build a foundation through repentance and tears.

What is the most precious thing that we can give to God and True Parents? It is our tears, crying from our hearts. The physical substance coming from you is your tears, crying from your hearts. How can we cry? How can we shed tears from our deepest heart? When you love something or someone, you are able to act naturally around them. When you love your wife, when you love people around you, do you love those people because it is your duty or your responsibility? I don't think so. That is not the way I treat my brothers. Because I love them, I want to do it naturally, automatically; without feeling burdened, without gratification for myself. That is why we truly have to cry. I often cry. That is the only time I can find peace, and I become stronger and stronger. I am saying this emphatically because it is crucial. If we love our Father and our God how can we not cry? How can we not take it seriously? This is very important.

What can you provide to the Blessed Children, your own children? Your original heart. It is that kind of heart and understanding and true foundation of endless love that you can give. It is the only thing you can show Father's children and the world. Many people through history tried to prove their goodness to the world but none of that was sustainable.

Of course many people are smarter than I, have a higher IQ than I and are stronger than I, but I do not care; I want to love God the most. When I love God the most, I can love you the most. When I love God, I love everything about God. What is God? God is everything. How can I say that I love God, but I don't love you, I don't love this? Nothing belongs to Satan. Satan should not be able to claim anything. That is my determination.

On this occasion, even if I helped you a little bit, that brings me the greatest joy. I do not just want happiness at this moment. I want you to be happy forever. I want God to be happy forever. That is important, important for us. We are the voices of Father and God so we must truly be prepared and understand. Then we can smile. I am sure that your smile will travel a hundred times farther and be that much stronger.

I know and have confidence that we can accomplish this because I see Blessed Children around me. I am always with them, spending time with them. I have hope because they by hard to find value in themselves. That is the greatest thing. Only in that desire can God dwell in their hearts. They are always sacrificing themselves, denying the physical world. That is why we must deny ourselves; that is the only way we can grow.

You must understand that many of you have been in the church ten years and you have grown that much. You have grown spiritually, but from now you should start over again. You should cling to that spark that you had when you first joined the church. How can you lose it? Many people I see have lost it. They are struggling and have lost their vision, lost meaning. How can you blame someone else for something that you had but then you lost? Of course, Satan is always out there; trying to take and claim you through the mistakes of others, sometimes through mistakes of our leaders. Does that give you the right to deny and isolate yourself from them? If Father were like that, how could he love you and the world? If God were like that, how could we exist in the first place?

I truly thank you for sticking it out this long. In a way, we are the most selfish people in the world, because we want to be the greatest people in eternity. We are willing to risk death, for eternity. If we are true men and women, we want to touch the greatest thing. Don't lose that, ever. We may be selfish but that is okay. I don't think God is going to hate you for that, but we must be worthy. That is our responsibility.

With that determination, I don't think anything is impossible; we can break through any barrier. The tip of an arrow is the hardest part. Let that be CARP -- close together and united. This CARP movement is crucial. We are guiding the future. When we think of this, we must thank God. He provided for us to be here. We are building the future. That is a greatness we can be proud of. I know that if we unite, we can make Father very happy. Let us make Father happy! He has suffered enough.