The Words of the Hyun Jin Moon
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The Words of the Hyun Jin Moon |
As Hyun Jin Nim had been in the main temple for the sermon the day before, it was announced that he would be present at the Hoon Dok Hae of the 31st of May 2010, at 5:00 am at the 5th floor of our headquarters building.
I was awake since 2:00 am last May 31, 2010 because I had done a vigil to prepare a report to Hyun Jin Nim about my reflection of the May 30, 2010 happenings.
When I went up to the 4th floor I saw that the lights were already on in the pastoral's room and when I opened the door I saw some sisters of Ho Kim Do's Store who had rested there. It was cold and I figured out that probably they haven't passed a pleasant night sleeping without adequate warm clothing.
Spiritually, I was very much worried because it was nearing the time to meet directly Hyun Jin Nim and in my mind I was already predicting that some things not pleasant can occur. I felt even more anxious when I was informed that Rev. Shin was prohibited from entering the small temple of the 5th floor where the Hoon Dok Hae was to happen. (I learned later that Rev. Shin was sitting on the couch in front of the elevator of the 5th floor, and that only much later he was allowed to enter when called by Hyun Jin Nim.)
I took with me several books to the room: Cheon Seong Gyeong, Divine Principle, Messages of Peace and Autobiography (two books, one that at the end of Hoon Dok Hae I gave directly to Hyun Jin Nim and the other book I gave to Mrs. Myung Soon, wife of Prof. Baldini). I wanted to be prepared to attend to any request that Hyun Jin Nim would ask later for reading.
As I sat in the room of Hoon Dok Hae, Mr. Waldir Cipriani came to apologize for the episode that occurred last Sunday, May 30, 2010. I told him to let us wait for the next happenings. Mr. Roque Fiddale (a blessed member as a security guard) was with him. Then Rev. Kang came to greet me and asked me to lead the bowing to God and to True Parents first and then give reverence to Hyun Jin Nim.
We sang several songs to prepare for the holy atmosphere. We sang several songs many times, because Hyun Jin Nim was delayed in arriving.
I saw and heard that Rev. Shin was still arguing with both the staff and Hyun Jin Nim for the fact that he was not authorized to lead the Hoon Dok Hae. But as the direction was given before, Rev. Shin couldn't enter the temple.
Finally, Hyun Jin Nim arrived. I took the microphone to start the proceedings of the Hoon Dok Hae. He asked my name. I said Simão. He told me not to lead the Hoon Dok Hae and called Mr. Baldini but Mr. Baldini was not around, that's why Mr. Waldir Cipriani took the role of leading the Hoon Dok Hae. Everybody made a complete bow first to God, then to True Parents and half bow to Hyun Jin Nim.
Then, without a prayer and without the Family Pledge, Hyun Jin Nim asked immediately to read the Peace Message No. 1. (He had requested the previous day that three Peace Messages to be read, I think 1, 5 and 6). At that moment, he asked everyone that was present in the temple of the 5th floor to raise hands who had fulfilled the condition and it seemed that only one person did. Mr. Thomas Field read the Peace Message No. 1 in English and Mr. Juliano Scremin did the reading in Portuguese (the brother who had translated for Hyun Jin Nim the previous day).
Before the reading of the Peace Message had started, Hyun Jin Nim looked at me and asked why I had not answered his request the day before, when I was called to the temple. I replied that I had gone to the hospital with my wife. He asked, "You were with Rev. Shin at that time, were you not?"
He told me that my wife was hospitalized because of me, because of my mistake.
Then Hoon Dok Hae started. Every paragraph or two, or even after reading a strong sentence, Hyun Jin Nim got up and made some comments or explanation to what has been read, but most of the time, he came to where I was sitting to challenge me very strongly. He asked me to answer a question or looked at my eyes. The questions were always about whether he's a disobedient son or not, or if I was barring him from coming to Brazil. I always answered with respect to him, with the manner that my answers won't let him become even more angry or hurt.
And he was very hurt. Basically during three hours of Hoon Dok Hae I saw him speak harshly, especially against me and against Rev. Shin. I saw a deep sorrow in him expressed with the words of explanation that he was giving, always emphasizing that he was a son of the True Family and that nobody should interfere in matters of his family because in the future, at the right time, he himself would solve them.
Basically every time he came to where I was sitting, he was somehow hitting me, or with words, or kicking me with his shoes, or both simultaneously. During three hours, I was under constant attack from him. For four times I was kicked on the chest, once in the back and on the knee numerous times, (that happened when we were sitting on the floor). Also, he hit me strongly on my forehead with his fingers.
In the first and half hours, I was alone, then he asked for Rev. Shin to come and Rev. Shin sat beside me. Then, I and Rev. Shin, both of us at that time were receiving the blows from Hyun Jin Nim. Normally, the blows were received by both of us, but I think that Rev. Shin has received more than I at that time.
There was a moment that my heart seemed to explode and burst into tears. There were many tears, not anger, nor pain, but pity for Hyun Jin Nim and members. After all, we were challenged by a son of True Family and I could not understand why there was so much heartache in him, so much bitterness, resentment or hatred in his heart. I felt a lot of fear, a nightmare, a terror for three hours -- as if it was the longest hours I ever had in my life.
Never there was a moment that I thought about retaliating. In my heart, I prayed to God to accept that offering, that sacrifice for the sake of Brazil and the forgiveness of my own sins. But I felt very sorry for Hyun Jin Nim of why this was happening to him. Why so much pain and sorrow in his heart? What happened in his life that left so much hurt and why he was unable to break through this and be free of that grief and pain? I imagined how he can return to True Parents and how it can help to solve his problem if he does it soon.
On the other hand, I thought of the members who were present in that room, especially the young people. How they can be able to understand his situation? What will be the situation of our church from this time on? How blessed families will react to the fact that their two leaders, Continental and National Leaders, have been completely demoralized by a son of the True Family? What will be the future of our movement from this time on?
Also I thought about all those members who were supporting Hyun Jin Nim under that circumstance. How many, in fact, can deeply understand what was happening? It is natural that the members need to have a heartistic relationship with all members of the True Family. But I wondered how to explain to members that there was something wrong in the attitude of Hyun Jin Nim. How members will interpret the attitude of Hyun Jin Nim?
I asked myself many times in my heart, why that was happening. Was I wrong? What did I do wrong? The only thing that went through my head was that I was being accused by a son of the True Family and judged before all the members since I was obeying the directions of the Continental Leader, Brazil's Boonbongwang and World Mission Center.
In all my previous experiences with the True Family, same as all members felt, I was throbbed with emotion and always feeling much joy to see them, listened to them or attended them on their visits to Brazil, which happened several times in the past years, from 1994 to 2005. But, I could not understand why in front of Hyun Jin Nim at this time, a son of the True Family, I was in so much anguish and in a true hell.
I thanked God when the reading at the Hoon Dok Hae time had reached its end, which lasted three hours. After Hoon Dok Hae, we went to the meal room for breakfast. Mr. Baldini offered the prayer. During breakfast, Hyun Jin Nim still was questioning me several times. He called me strongly to come to him and asked if after at that moment I can still have the capacity to lead the blessed families in Brazil. I said nothing, despite an avalanche of words in my head. He asked me how long I was in the Unification Church and I answered, 31 years. Then, he told me that in Korea, even a child of three years knew more Divine Principle than I. After those words from him, what I did was just to apologize before him, slightly bowed and went back to my place.
Everyone in the room looked at me. I was judged, convicted and executed by a son of the True Family. I was literally in hell...
Because he asked me to make a public report, I'm sharing it with you, brothers and sisters.
Each one of you can draw your own conclusion…
Neudir Simão Ferabolli
National Leader, FFWPU, Brazil