The Words of Sun Myung Moon from 1977
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The Words of Sun Myung Moon from 1977 |
Sun
Myung Moon and Hyung Jin Moon April 2011
If I had developed my natural abilities and applied them in a secular way, then I would have been a successful business man, great statesman, or man of renown and fame in any field that I would have endeavored. I would have been successful and respected in an entirely different manner, but I never undertook that direction. Is there anyone who has shed more tears for God than I have? I could have avoided a path of suffering; but, I willingly chose the course of suffering for God's sake. There were many ways where I would have been welcomed by people with esteem and praise. However, I knew God Himself did not stand in a position to receive praises and esteem in such places.
Do you think that I actually did not have personal ambitions? As a young man I certainly had ambitions and dreams, but I cut them off and closed all those doors. Then I chose the most miserable path for my life. I only wanted to be a friend of God who is lonely and suffering. I understand that you too are walking a path of hardship like me. But I tell you that you are following the path that I already pioneered in the past. More importantly, we all chose the path of suffering; and are walking the path carrying heavy burdens, only because both you and I came to know God too well.
I have tasted prison life, not only under the communist regime but also in free Korea. I can never forget one former member who came up to me when I was being taken to the West Gate [Seodaemun] prison in Seoul. He looked at me and laughed scornfully, "You fool! Are you still doing this stupid thing? Why don't you graduate from that like me?" I can never forget that man, eternally. At that moment I walked by him in absolute silence, but in my heart I was shouting out to God, "Let me testify to Your righteousness and my obedience to You right now."
This is just one instance of personal betrayal; there are too many to count. When I close my eyes and start to pray, tears always come forth. I cannot stop sobbing; then I just weep with tremendous pain in my heart. It is because I know the innermost suffering and agony of God. I have experienced so much agony and pain and heartbreak that I know God, and I am in a position to comfort Him. No one understands me. My parents never understood, even my wife and children can never really understand. When no one understands you, you are totally alone in understanding God. You also can be a friend to that lonely God.
I thought so many times how vulnerable and weak a man I became. From some people's point of view, I am no different than a weak man. However, I know that God trusts and is depending on me. When I feel God's heart, I just have no way to sit still but am overwhelmed with yearning, to comfort God's heart by fulfilling His Will.