How’s this for an illustration for life? We all live in a huge building. There’s floors above the ground - Heaven Floor 1, Heaven Floor 2, etc. on up although the highest floors and the penthouse are still under construction.

Below ground, there are many lower levels: Hell Floor I, descending to Hell Floor 2, etc. No one knows how low they go - Hell Floor 66? 666?

Anyway, we can all move around on our floors but whenever we want to move from floor to floor, we have to use The Elevator. There’s Elevators on every floor, with the same buttons. Here’s what the buttons mean:

God: Always an express ride up. But button is hard to find.

Family: Goes up floor by floor. Can be claustrophobic or act like it’s broken, but almost always gets you to a higher floor.

Money: Always out of order.

Drugs and alcohol: Only goes down, although it goes down so slowly, floor by floor, that it may take awhile to hit bottom.

Suicide: Always just one step into an empty elevator shaft.

Extramarital affairs: Trick elevator - it looks like it’s going to take you to a more interesting floor, but when you get on, the doors slam shut and it’s an express to the basement. Gives you electrical shocks all the way down.

Food and material goods: Always the freight elevator. Never goes above the ground level.

Education: May open the door, but doesn’t necessarily take you anywhere.

Friends: Some friends bring you up. Some friends bring you down. Choose whom you ride with carefully.

May we always hit the right buttons!

Cheryl W.

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