Dear Editor;

Send the Quinns to Rev. Ahn's 40-day, I say. Who can forget his classic explanation of masculinity and femininity? He maintains that masculinity and femininity exist only in the family, and subject and object exist in all other relationships. He cites the example of Margaret Thatcher, former prime minister of Britain. By day, she is subject to her nation, ruling Britain-at night, she is the feminine object of her husband, bringing him tea on a platter.

If Margaret Thatcher had children in daycare, would they be the loveless, forlorn victims of societal decay that the Quinns describe? I don't think so! They would feel loved, bursting with pride, filled with confidence, sure that the world was theirs for the taking.

Letters to the editor have already addressed aspects of the Quinns' interpretation of the Principle and Father's words. I would like to respond from the pragmatic angle of a working mother. I have just one question for the Quinns: HELLO??

I can only conclude that:

* The Quinns are independently wealthy * Jon Quinn has a thriving law or medical practice * They are Amish, Mennonite or Pennsylvania Dutch * They're childless

As for the vast number of families which require two incomes to make ends meet, things are not as clear as the cut paper doll chain reality the Quinns describe.

"Many children are parentless while stuck in daycare."

Excuse me?!?

The breakdown of the family refers to the destruction of the relationship of love between family members-not their physical arrangement. A career mother, who passionately loves her husband and children, who drops her kids off for the day with an affectionate caregiver in a stimulating play environment, is contributing to the "disintegration of the family and nation"? Please!

* Fulltime, at-home mothers with several children often provide less direct attention, structured educational play and fun peer interaction than a quality daycare program

* Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, renowned pediatrician who urges mothers to stay home when they can, recommends that toddlers of at-home mothers enter daycare at least part-time for growth and developmental reasons

* Often children relish their daycare, look forward to meeting their little playmates, and protest when it's time to leave

Working, engaged, career-, mission- or accomplishment-oriented women are not the driving force in the destruction of family values. I'm offended by the recommendations and sensibilities of the Quinns, and even more surprised to see them in print.

Martha Sandino, San Francisco, California

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