Baby John Parkins passed to the spirit world on True Gods Day 1996. The following is our account and experience through this time. we hope it will in some way offer hope to those couples that find themselves in this or similar circumstances.

It had been a tremendous if often frenzied year. We seemed to be making progress in many areas of our life. The birth of John on 11th December at 6:24 was going to be a wonderful end to the year.

Within 24 hours that was all to change. What started as "some sort of problem" lead to a dash by ambulance to Harefield Special Heart hospital and we were suddenly before a grim faced doctor. A sense of unreality descended as he tried to explain as gently as he could about John's severe heart defect. Things looked very grim. We left his room shocked and tearful but holding on to the hope of a donor.

We began our 21 days-to the hour-of intense external and emotional activity that we would never forget. Life revolved around the hospital with V. spending most of her time there.

The input from the doctors and nurses was fantastic but even so V. wanted to spend as much time with John as a mother and to surround him with as much joy as possible-a real test in itself.

Family, church members and friends rallied round in a way that was unprecedented and moving.

From Beatriz Steeghs we found that the probably cause was two murders committed in V.' lineage 6 generations before John. "The sins of the fathers..." She also started several healing programs. This gave us hope.

The message about John spread and spread in an amazing way. Friends that I had been witnessing to for 18 years organized a prayer chain in their church, Mass were said, Hindu's prayed for us and of course so many members prayed. We estimated over a 1000 people from all faiths were involved in prayer.

John was doing well-very well. So well that the doctors postponed doing a very risky operation in favor of waiting longer for a donor. God's will be done.

On Jan 1st at 3:30am the hospital phoned to say that John's condition has worsened. V. went immediately followed by myself. By 6:00 it was obvious that it was only a matter of time. Both John's heart and breathing had stopped and been revived by a team of doctors and nurses.

In an experience that can only be described as awful we watched life ebb away from John until he lay silent. A momentary sense of peace descended when we prayed with him. But nothing could hold back the waves of anguish and despair that swept over us on that God's Day morning.

By next day we both felt a sense of peace and acceptance. Also an understanding began to grow that this was God's will. Exactly 21 days. When these sort of events happen to blessed children in 21 or 40 days it is always for a higher purpose. Often this is required at the end or beginning of the year as it was with Heung Jin Nim.

More frenzied activity in the next few days to arrange the Seung Hwa Ceremony. Family arrived from Lancashire and Norway.

What transpired on the day of the Seung Hwa Ceremony amazed us-and our families.

The opening ceremony was moving and tearful as we said our final farewells to John and closed the casket. Gradually the atmosphere became brighter.

At the graveside ceremony however both V. and myself began to feel that John's spirit was really free and happy. We in turn began to feel joyful. It was a very profound and real spiritual experience.

Once again we felt we were walking in the shadow of True Parents victory over death. By their totally Principled and awesome attitude at the time of Heung Jin Nims ascension and creation of the Seung Hwa Ceremony they have substantially opened up the way for us to have a totally different experience on these occasions.

Afterwards Mary Franklin told us what she had seen at the Seung Hwa Ceremony. As we began to sing Holy Songs a young girl appeared with very fine golden hair and a light flowing gown. She picked up John and danced round the room together. Both looked radiantly happy. It was confirmation of what we both felt.

My family are still talking about this unforgettable experience. They definitely felt something very profound and of course it was in stark contrast to a regular funeral. Very naturally it opened up the way for us to talk about the spirit world and they could see that we have something more than belief and faith-a quiet knowing.

John is released from what would probably be a life time of drugs, discomfort and operations-or even worse if something went wrong. We both feel we could make an offering of heart. For what, we do not now. We can also share and understand the heart of Heavenly Father who lost His son, True Parents who lost 2 children and other brothers and sisters who have been through this experience.

Although life has returned to "normal" John will always be with us. We are fully at peace with the situation and feel grateful to God and True Parents for our lives and 2 wonderful children here in the physical world-as well as one in the spiritual world.

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