CARP's absolute sex campaign reached out to plant it's flag in territory to the north. We did not smash cathode-ray tubes, holler down Hollywood or protest Playboy-some of the CARP activities last year. But for the first time in a CARP-sponsored event, we had more guests than members in attendance.

January 31, 1997 was a cold, wintry night in Toronto, Canada. Despite the unshovled sidewalks, 24 students from several nearby Universities joined with an overflow crowd totaling 45, to brave the new fallen snow and ponder the meaning of a new phrase, "Absolute Sex."

The inaugural event re-opening CARP in the land of maple leaves and hockey, started with lively entertainment from an all-women's Japanese choir. They sang two songs-one in their native tongue and another in English (Top of the World). Brothers Shane and Dale Kim from Korea, then performed a classical violin and viola duet. They were followed by the Tadin brothers, Dionisije and Dimitry, who played guitars as they sang two original songs. The stage was set for an entertaining evening.

Mr. Robert Kittel, the CARP representative from the United States and a doctoral student at the University of Bridgeport in Connecticut, was introduced. He had been in Canada only once before. Twenty-six years ago he set a Canadian national swimming record in the 400 meter freestyle relay. Now, instead of challenging a stop watch he challenged Canadian youth to start watching out for traps; barriers that might limit their potential of a lifetime of personal fulfillment and happiness.

Posing a rhetorical question, "Do you want me to get religious on you?" Mr. Kittel said he wouldn't unless they wanted. No one responded. He then proceeded to claim the Sexual Revolution a relic of the past. Like the facade of the Communist utopia which suddenly and unexpectedly met its demise, the sexual revolution had finally run its course. He noted the rough road smoking and drinking vices are now facing as examples.

Marketing giants that spend billions of dollars in slick ads trying to lure the innocent, have been accused of targeting teens. Facts seem to bear prophetic truth. That day, the front-page story of USA Today read: "Teen Smoking and Drinking: How Ad Images Shape Habits." But it was not all smoke and beers, said USA Today, "Ads for adult vices were a big hit with teens." Surveys showed that the three most popular TV ad "icons" among impressionable young adults were: the Marlboro Man, Joe Camel and Bud Frog.

"Cigarette producers never speak of side-effects," Mr. Kittel pointed out, "That is-unless forced to by law." Teens were told smoking and drinking was "cool" and there was no down side at all. For decades people stood silently by as alcohol and nicotine maimed, mutilated and murdered young and old alike. It was a ruthless killer. Finally, even the innocent had a high price to pay. Last week New York joined sixteen other states who have filed class-action law suits against the mighty tobacco moguls. States are demanding that tobacco companies repay tax-payer money spent on medical and social service expenses connected to smoking-related illnesses.

Mr. Kittel predicted that next in line for public scrutiny was the illusive, yet ubiquitous, sex industry. It too has been a false god, glamorized for the gullible. To counter the free sex belief, CARP has coined the term "Absolute Sex." Yes, the "A" word. There are absolutes in life. Popular culture promotes moral relativity; a view of life in

which there are no universal moral standards. The problem lies when moral relativity is put into practice, it quickly gets translated into, an "I do what I want to," philosophy.

Contrasted with this hodgepodge philosophy, absolute sex promises true freedom, harmony, simplicity, and interdependence. But, Mr. Kittel pointed out, it doesn't happen automatically. People need to practice caring for others. The Golden Rule is a moral tenet found in all the sacred scriptures. It is universal wisdom of a timeless nature. Could they have all been wrong?

The Great Paradox, then, is that those who pursue joy and happiness centering on themselves, usually lose it. Happiness attained on the immediate gratification theory quickly tarnishes. On the contrary, those who care more about the well-being of others, find a lasting joy that shines forever undimmed. Examples are numerous: Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, and Martin Luther King, Jr. to name a few.

Absolute sex is not stationary. It is not simply a life of abstinence. The guiding principle of absolute sex is living for the sake of others. This can be practiced even before marriage. It begins with avoiding the misuse of our reproductive organs and this may appear restrictive. However in the end, a life based on fidelity is truly liberating and there is no collateral damage. Trust is, after all, the foundation for a successful marriage and a happy family.

The conclusion was simple. "Monogamy works!" Mr. Kittel declared. Happily married couples live longer, are better off financially, have fewer mental illnesses, have a more fulfilling sexual relationship and thus a much lower rate of suicide. We, as a society, should do everything possible to prepare young adults for marriage. The heterosexual two-parent family is, after all, the most economical and most successful model used in raising children.

After the program, discussion groups sprang up spontaneously. Students were eager to hear an alternative message. Why? As the computer acronym GIGO reminds us, "garbage in, garbage out." Bombarded with half-truths and one-sided information young adults cannot possibly make correct choices in their lives. In fact two students, one from the University of Toronto and the other from the University of York, said that programs like this should be held on campus.

Lively conversation continued late into the night. And although snowed in, no one was snowed under.

CARP Workshop:

The following day, five guests returned to study in-depth the new concept of Absolute Sex. Mr. Kittel outlined the rise of the liberal sexual ideology. It began at the end of the 19th century with Sigmund Freud. He hypothesized that the most basic, defining human instinct was the sexual drive, latent till puberty. And to repress the sexual impulse, Freud postulated, caused mental illness.

After WWII Alfred Kinsey published false `scientific' data and took Freud's assertions one step further. Kinsey said illicit sex was common-as much as 90% of the population were having pre- or extra- marital sexual intercourse. He also sexually manipulated children, some as young as 2 months old. He timed them with a stop watch, noting how long and how often it took children to reach orgasm in a given time period. [Presently, there is a bill before the U.S. Congress to investigate the Kinsey Institute.]

The crown in the jewel of liberal sex, however, was Hugh Hefner's Playboy magazine, first published in 1953. With close ties to Kinsey, Hefner made his millions selling pornography, but was all the time

promoting a social revolution-the religion of sexual, self-indulgence. Articles, editorials and humor viewed marriage and parenthood as a ball and chain. Sex without commitment, the destruction of the traditional two-parent family, as well as the legalization of illegal drugs are all propagated in the pages of Playboy.

Mr. David Scarr, a clinical social worker and family therapist working in Cobourg, Canada (an hour outside Toronto), spoke last. He gave numerous examples of the problems associated with the self-centered lifestyle. Keeping his professionalism and keeping anonymous the names of his clients, Mr. Scarr warned the students that they should take marriage and family seriously. Schools and universities focus primarily on jobs and careers. Educational institutions are, however, a dismal failure in providing character building skills and moral education-basic tools needed to build harmonious interpersonal relationships.

Following Mr. Scarr's talk, students said that they were so relieved to hear this message. "I've really been wondering," said Lu, a student from China who lived for many years in France, "what life is all about? Is it just jobs and money? Careers and promotions? Now I've really been able to see the importance of family. It really is central to the purpose of life itself."

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